Sick Girlfriend
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Ontario
Posts: 1
Sick Girlfriend
When I met her, we connected very well, and I could feel her trying to mask the truth but she really needed help. I could feel how she regrets being the way she is and is crying out for an honest helping hand. At the time, I was not familiar with alocholism and it's symptoms; she's 26 and I am 29, I just thought that she's just partying just like I did when I was in college and that once things get serious between us she'd get herself together and bring out her inner beauty to complement her physical beauty.
A year has gone by now, she hasn't changed her habits. She's gone through 5 jobs and quit each one drunk. I've come home from work many many times to find her intoxicated. I've helped her reconciliate with her family whom had given up on her but she lost them again for she abused them while she was intoxicated.
She's been to rehab centres...she's been to doctors...but noone can help her because she's not wanting to get better.
I broke up with her many times but she keeps coming back, and I let her back on conditions to get help and free herself from this disease, but the conditions are never being attempted at satisfying. I let her back into my life to save hers. But she continues to lie and lie and betray me. I can't believe that I am going through this, but again, I say, if she wasn't sick and capable to move on, I would have broke up with her for good a long time ago, the only thing keeping her coming back is my compassion and my urge to help her and save her life. But, now I know that she's taking advantage of me. But then, when she's sober, she is an angel, until without warning, she's intoxicated and posessed by the devil.
I care about her but I want her to just move on, but she has no where to go.
I am in a dilemma. If she goes to one of her friends (sick as well) she will never get out of this hell she's in. If I let her stay, she will hurt me over and over.
My life has been difficult and I have gone through a lot of issues to arrive at this age, and I have always worked my way out, and today I still believe and know that there is not any problem in this world that I cant solve and overcome, no matter how personal it is, and for sure pain and endurance is part of the equation, as well as suffering. Though, the alcohol dependent does not have the will to try to solve anything, by any means, other than by hitting the bottle.
I write this as she's passed out after coming home from a job interview.
:sorry if I have offended anyone.
sometimes the truth hurts.
And, I created this account for her, but she's not using it. So I will.
A year has gone by now, she hasn't changed her habits. She's gone through 5 jobs and quit each one drunk. I've come home from work many many times to find her intoxicated. I've helped her reconciliate with her family whom had given up on her but she lost them again for she abused them while she was intoxicated.
She's been to rehab centres...she's been to doctors...but noone can help her because she's not wanting to get better.
I broke up with her many times but she keeps coming back, and I let her back on conditions to get help and free herself from this disease, but the conditions are never being attempted at satisfying. I let her back into my life to save hers. But she continues to lie and lie and betray me. I can't believe that I am going through this, but again, I say, if she wasn't sick and capable to move on, I would have broke up with her for good a long time ago, the only thing keeping her coming back is my compassion and my urge to help her and save her life. But, now I know that she's taking advantage of me. But then, when she's sober, she is an angel, until without warning, she's intoxicated and posessed by the devil.
I care about her but I want her to just move on, but she has no where to go.
I am in a dilemma. If she goes to one of her friends (sick as well) she will never get out of this hell she's in. If I let her stay, she will hurt me over and over.
My life has been difficult and I have gone through a lot of issues to arrive at this age, and I have always worked my way out, and today I still believe and know that there is not any problem in this world that I cant solve and overcome, no matter how personal it is, and for sure pain and endurance is part of the equation, as well as suffering. Though, the alcohol dependent does not have the will to try to solve anything, by any means, other than by hitting the bottle.
I write this as she's passed out after coming home from a job interview.
:sorry if I have offended anyone.
sometimes the truth hurts.
And, I created this account for her, but she's not using it. So I will.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Florence, Kentucky
Posts: 116
I'm new to this site too. IMO, from what I read here the best way to help her is to let her go, and get her completely out of your life. You are now a part of her addiction. You have to get out from your addiction to her. I hate to say it because we all like to believe we can honestly help someone the way we normally would, by lending a helping hand. Unlike other diseases this one must be managed by NOT helping. They have to hit their rock bottom and seek help on their own. The A's may never get there, but we can hope by letting them go their rock bottom gets closer.
Keep reading on this board and you will know.
Good luck.
Keep reading on this board and you will know.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Welcome. I'm glad you found us. Please read the stickies at the top of our board. You will find a wealth of information there.
Alcoholism is called "cunning, baffling, powerful." I believe that we, as codependents, suffer from similar cunning, baffling, and powerful issues when it comes to wanting the A's in our lives to sober up, see the light, and get help.
What makes it so baffling is that the A often goes in and out of rehabs, counseling, meetings, and still we continue to hold on to the relationship in the hope that things will improve.
Nothing changes if nothing changes. Right now, the only power you have is the power to change yourself. You cannot make your gf see the light. You cannot make your gf get sober.
If she has nowhere to live, then let her find a women's shelter or let The Salvation Army take her in. Until, and unless, you back away and allow her to hit bottom, she has no chance at sobriety. If she can find a way to drink, believe me, she CAN find a way to survive. It is sad and it is tragic, but that is the reality of addiction.
Alcoholism is called "cunning, baffling, powerful." I believe that we, as codependents, suffer from similar cunning, baffling, and powerful issues when it comes to wanting the A's in our lives to sober up, see the light, and get help.
What makes it so baffling is that the A often goes in and out of rehabs, counseling, meetings, and still we continue to hold on to the relationship in the hope that things will improve.
Nothing changes if nothing changes. Right now, the only power you have is the power to change yourself. You cannot make your gf see the light. You cannot make your gf get sober.
If she has nowhere to live, then let her find a women's shelter or let The Salvation Army take her in. Until, and unless, you back away and allow her to hit bottom, she has no chance at sobriety. If she can find a way to drink, believe me, she CAN find a way to survive. It is sad and it is tragic, but that is the reality of addiction.
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