Paulos

Hi all, I'm Paul... you all know me probably -.- from my various posts of pity and fear of the past... being on medications, not being on them, etc etc... I've just been so down about my memory/organization skills lately... 95 days off booze is something I know but it's just for the past few weeks I've been like so down on myself because I feel ******** that so many people can remember things but I can't... like if I read something off a piece of paper especially when pressured or when I start thinking about too many times or a schedule I freak out when I realize I can't do it... even right now I'm shaking about it... I'm autistic by the way all... people say I have too much free time but even when I'm doing things I am haunted by this feeling so it's not that!

BackToSquareOne

Cognitive and memory problems go with the territory. With anxiety/depression our thoughts are so focused inward in regard to how lousy we feel that it becomes very hard to focus on anything else.

Freedom1990

Yep, I struggle with that too. I'm taking college classes now, and I have to take extensive notes as I read, or my brain's like a bucket with holes in it and it all drains back out!

endzoner

your not alone in this one paulos . ever since i was a kid i struggled with memorie problems . and add booze and it didnt get any better , axually got worse . But ive learned that workin with my own self reading things that i find interesting or i want to know or learn has made a big difference . its liek they say in aa .. take what you want and leave the rest , well thats what i do when i read thenewspaper online find things that interst me . books if they dont grab my attention in the first chapter , its not gonna get read and ill give it away . The BB still tho its of interst to me i find hard to remember all ive read so i re-read it often . Andif forced to read something and say take a test .. definatly aint workin for me thats part why i never graduated HS . Ive tried studying the book to get my GED but so much that i should of learned earlie in my life i never did , Its like being in the 4th grade for me basic fractions i should know at the age im at but no i need help and i have asked for help ill get that GED one day on my own time but cant force the mind to remember .can only try to retrain what you can . I dont know if my share helps you . just know your not alone , try not to be so hard on yourself . i know its tuff some days but the sun will shine and your sober thats whats important .. keep posting hun :ghug3

hippyhippy

Hi,
I really struggle with memory problems when I am depressed. I get myself into a state about it. I forget things like the names of people I have worked with for 13 years, the way to a destination that I have been to lots of times, how to make a simple dish for dinner, what day it is.....
It does however improve when I am not depressed.
Hippy
x

jurneyman

One of my major incentives to get off the alcohol and drugs in the first place, wasn't that I might die, or go back to jail, it was the loss of the ability to function mentally, most of my life was involved with problem solving, and trouble shooting problems, which BTW almost killed me anyway, trying to apply those living skills to recovery, but that is for another forum. Mentally what I am going through trying to deal with this debilitating depression, Is not only not having the ability to concentrate, and comprehend a written page, or a web page, it is not being able to use the God given ability to be creative, to take an abstract thought, that I was somehow able to receive through inspiration, and apply it to the creation of something physical, I lost this connection due to the duel depression and or the medications I tried, and are still using, I am trying to connect again through prayer, since meditation is totally impossible. I never saw this coming.

Paulos

I see... thank you for your responses all... I thought after 100 days off booze I would feel clearer and better... it's just... drat... and the Xanax I take may be making my memory worse... probably is knowing my luck, god darn it I can't win.

historyteach

Paulos,
From what I understand, it takes more than 100 days to clear the head. And PAWS symptoms can last even longer. So, don't beat yourself up. Congratulate yourself on a job WELL DONE! And continue on.

Shalom!

Paulos

I pray I hope you're right... about it's going to take mor ethan 100 days, I'm runningo ut of reasons on why I'm so messed up mentally..