juju

Hi all!

One of the things I need to work on for myself is communication/interaction. I have always been a shy, reserved, quiet person. I know it’s gotta be rooted in my own insecurities, but I’m working on that, too! I feel like I need to jump in the pool here, so to speak, but I’m having a hard time getting past my nervousness and taking that first step. I'm very involved in a community youth sports organization, as well as working in a local school, so I'm out there, I want to socialize a bit, I just don't know what to do with myself when I get there!

I’ve always been uncomfortable in social situations; I’m a good listener, but to initiate a conversation? Forget it! Small talk? I suck at it. I don’t want to change everything about myself, but I would like to become a little more talkative and outgoing. I enjoy the quiet part of myself, but I’d like to balance it a little more.

Has anyone ever dealt with something like this? I’m sure I’m putting out “leave me alone” vibes, but I just freeze when it comes down to it!

Thanks,

juju

BohemiMamaof3

I'm also naturally shy and feel nervous and awkward in social settings. God has really brought me a long way, and how He seemed to do it was by showing me to take it slow and practice, and making me aware of books like "How To Win Friends And Influence People" an old book by Dale Carnegie. I had a lecturer when going thru an internship, the fabulous Dr. Robert Fisher, who wrote another good little book on communication and interpersonal relationships Quick To Listen, Slow To Speak. Anyway, I brought up Dr. Fisher because he told us a story, which I think he recounts in the book, of how he began to apply some of Dale Carnegie’s suggestions about conversing with people, etc., as a young man while he hitchhiked around California. That was during the 1960’s when hitchhiking was much more common. He had great distances to go between college, his home and visiting his sweetheart, and he shares some interesting anecdotes, about how his trip became more pleasant as he tried to be a better conversationalist. While his book is clearly written from a Christian p.o.v., the Carnegie book is not, f.y.i., so as not to offend anyone, or at least give you a heads up.

daisyjen

I am also quite shy. I used to be embarrassed of it, but I have accepted thats just who I am and I will always be this way. I am not trying to be rude, just unsure of myself in strange situations. Eventually, when I am comfortable in the situation, I may warm up and be less quiet, but there is really no guarantee. Accept yourself for the way GOD made you and you'll feel better about it!

kemarus

I am so like you! I've come to accept that this is just the way that I am and I do like my space! However, I did want to be more social and outgoing. I started taking small steps. One thing I noticed about myself was that I wasn't just quiet, I had a tendency to sit there and look closed off. Big no no if I wanted anyone to feel they wanted to talk. I noticed that I had a tendency to kind of cross my arms in front of me and basically hug myself(my insecurities coming out) and that was not welcoming. I worked on that. Then I started to just smile and say hi to whoever was around me. Especially at the kids sporting events, school functions and stuff like that. As I started to do those things, I think it made me more approachable and things started happening. If I was standing next to someone at a sporting event and their kid did something good, I would just turn around and praise their kid. All of this stuff opens up chances for conversation and you will find people that you have things in common with. It takes over on it's own from there. Not sure if this will help you but it worked for me.

atalose

I know one of the things that have helped me to become more comfortable in social settings was simply to smile more. I think it makes me more approachable and people tend to strike up conversations.