Please Help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
Please Help
I just can't take it anymore. I'm sitting here at work, with tears in my eyes and my AD's voice ringing in my ears. "I found someone to watch the baby, I love you." Of course the phone call prior to that was screaming & hollering how she wants to die & is going to take all of her pills, etc, etc. I told her to for once think about someone besides herself. She has a 6 mo old with her. Her 6 yr old is now living with her daddy (my AD's X) My AD's new husb has turned his pho off.
I am so sick of this drama. I am pulled between leaving work & making sure that the baby is okay, and not doing it because I feel like I'll just be playing into her S*** again!
There's so much more to say (as I'm sure you all can relate to)
I'm really feeling like I need to know the right thing to do & more importantly the Courage to do it.
I am so sick of this drama. I am pulled between leaving work & making sure that the baby is okay, and not doing it because I feel like I'll just be playing into her S*** again!
There's so much more to say (as I'm sure you all can relate to)
I'm really feeling like I need to know the right thing to do & more importantly the Courage to do it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 266
Do not leave work? Keep yourself busy, if you AD found someone to watch the baby then it was her choice. When you are done with work go over and check on the baby if you want.
Sorry for all the pain you are going thru, it has to be hard when there are kids involved
Sorry for all the pain you are going thru, it has to be hard when there are kids involved
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
Serenity
My sister's foster daughter put her through the same kind of *ell. She filed for custody and won and now the drama is over and her foster daughter is off doing whatever.
If you are worried about the baby, call Children's serices now. It is not playing into her drama and it can provide protection for the baby, not to mention getting some consequences going for mom.
Also, if she is threatening suicide, the best thing to do is call 911 and ask the ambulance to take her to a pshychiatric hospital. You may also want to call childen's services and tell them the whole story. It is not likely they will take the kids away from you (but they might) if they have been with you for a long time, but they can get your daughter to someplace that could help her. This sounds bigger than any one person can handle alone.
I've been through this with my niece. It is critical to take care of the sane people (yourself first and the children second) - AND - not let the addicts behavior keep you from doing what will end the madness for you and the children.
One step might be calling a social worker and find out what services can help you. Here in Minnesota there is a service that sends people to the house to evaluate mentally ill people. However, if she is threatening to take her pills, call the police - period. Having her in jail or in the hospital is way better than having her actually take the pills and dragging you down with her.
I know it is hard - for me, I was the hardes thing I could do. But now that I'm used to calling in the authorities (police, medical personell, social workers, etc.) the burden is much lighter. Police, social workers, childrens' services, etc. all have resources that we don't have and they know what to do. OUr job is to let go. Part of my letting go was to facilitate turning my niece over to whatever agency would keep her safe (turns out is jail right now).
Prayers that you find a way to get some help so you can keep your job and recover the joy in your life that you deserve - and protect the children.
Love and prayers...
My sister's foster daughter put her through the same kind of *ell. She filed for custody and won and now the drama is over and her foster daughter is off doing whatever.
If you are worried about the baby, call Children's serices now. It is not playing into her drama and it can provide protection for the baby, not to mention getting some consequences going for mom.
Also, if she is threatening suicide, the best thing to do is call 911 and ask the ambulance to take her to a pshychiatric hospital. You may also want to call childen's services and tell them the whole story. It is not likely they will take the kids away from you (but they might) if they have been with you for a long time, but they can get your daughter to someplace that could help her. This sounds bigger than any one person can handle alone.
I've been through this with my niece. It is critical to take care of the sane people (yourself first and the children second) - AND - not let the addicts behavior keep you from doing what will end the madness for you and the children.
One step might be calling a social worker and find out what services can help you. Here in Minnesota there is a service that sends people to the house to evaluate mentally ill people. However, if she is threatening to take her pills, call the police - period. Having her in jail or in the hospital is way better than having her actually take the pills and dragging you down with her.
I know it is hard - for me, I was the hardes thing I could do. But now that I'm used to calling in the authorities (police, medical personell, social workers, etc.) the burden is much lighter. Police, social workers, childrens' services, etc. all have resources that we don't have and they know what to do. OUr job is to let go. Part of my letting go was to facilitate turning my niece over to whatever agency would keep her safe (turns out is jail right now).
Prayers that you find a way to get some help so you can keep your job and recover the joy in your life that you deserve - and protect the children.
Love and prayers...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
Thank you all!!!! Here is an update.....my HP is always at work!!! Just got a call from my AD, with her were several program friends and her MIL.
She has heard back from a rehab facility and can get in as of tomorrow. The facility told her she could wait til friday, but her program friends advised that she needs to go ASAP.
Thank you for all your support & prayers....I am praying that this time she'll put into it what she needs to. The last time she only went to avoid jail time.
She has heard back from a rehab facility and can get in as of tomorrow. The facility told her she could wait til friday, but her program friends advised that she needs to go ASAP.
Thank you for all your support & prayers....I am praying that this time she'll put into it what she needs to. The last time she only went to avoid jail time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i am so glad she is going into rehab. i wish her the best of luck & hope she stays with it. take care of you. hands off the addict & remember the 3 c's. you did not Cause it,you can not Control it , you can not Cure it. prayers for you all.
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