Brand new to "not being in denial" anymore!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Glendale, CA
Posts: 19
Brand new to "not being in denial" anymore!
Hi everyone! I'm a single mother of a 2 yr old girl. I left my ex almost a year ago because he is an alcoholic and a drug abuser. At one point, in my younger years, I also partied with him and never saw it as a problem.
One Friday he left work and never showed up at home, he never came home that night, the next day I was so worried I called everyone that knew him and everyone I knew and no one knew anything. So I filed a missing person's report only to find out that Sunday when he finally came home that he was on a cocaine binge all weekend.
I wish I could say that it ended there, but that was 6 years ago. I continued the realtionship with him b/c I loved him, b/c I was scared to leave him, b/c I wanted to take care of him, b/c I thought I could change him.....the list goes on and on and on.
Well, in 2005 I found out I was pregnant and in 2006 our beautiful daughter was born. Mind you all, during these 6 years, he disappeared alot more times, I would find empty baggies hiding in weird places, he would leave work at 5pm but get home at 9pm or after and blame it on traffic and we lived 30 mins aways from his work and I would find empty liquor bottles that he had made a point to hide from me in the trash.
Last July, I went out with my friends to vent and came home drunk. We had a huge fight and to make a long story short, I destroyed our home, scared the hell out of our dog causing him to run away, not to mention the emotional trauma my then 1 yr old daughter went thru and I was arrested on domestic violence. A month later I made the hard decision to leave him and move on with my life and my daughter's life and that was a year ago.
Now looking back, I was so consumed with his life that I had forgotten about my life. It has taken me almost a year to let go of him and his life, because, eventhough I left him, I never detached myself from him and being in constant contact with him because of our daughter almost gave me a reason to still question him about his lifestyle or try to enforce my opinions on him.
Last week I attended my 1st Nar-Anon meeting, yesterday I joined SR and so far I'm starting to understand that his addiction is HIS problem, eventhough I had made it my addiction as well and it had consumed me so much that I had lost reality of my own life.
I work full time, my daughter is in pre-school, we live on our own and we barely get by but we're happy. Up until a week ago I cried everyday, I worried everyday, I was still consumed by his life, but I have SLOWLY let go and I am doing fine. I'm much happier, I'm more productive and my attention is 100% given to my daughter.
Thank you for the opportunity to share my story and in return I'm happy so say that I will get advice, get help and find wonderful friends thru this website.
Thank you and I welcome everyone and anyone that wants to talk or offer some advice!
One Friday he left work and never showed up at home, he never came home that night, the next day I was so worried I called everyone that knew him and everyone I knew and no one knew anything. So I filed a missing person's report only to find out that Sunday when he finally came home that he was on a cocaine binge all weekend.
I wish I could say that it ended there, but that was 6 years ago. I continued the realtionship with him b/c I loved him, b/c I was scared to leave him, b/c I wanted to take care of him, b/c I thought I could change him.....the list goes on and on and on.
Well, in 2005 I found out I was pregnant and in 2006 our beautiful daughter was born. Mind you all, during these 6 years, he disappeared alot more times, I would find empty baggies hiding in weird places, he would leave work at 5pm but get home at 9pm or after and blame it on traffic and we lived 30 mins aways from his work and I would find empty liquor bottles that he had made a point to hide from me in the trash.
Last July, I went out with my friends to vent and came home drunk. We had a huge fight and to make a long story short, I destroyed our home, scared the hell out of our dog causing him to run away, not to mention the emotional trauma my then 1 yr old daughter went thru and I was arrested on domestic violence. A month later I made the hard decision to leave him and move on with my life and my daughter's life and that was a year ago.
Now looking back, I was so consumed with his life that I had forgotten about my life. It has taken me almost a year to let go of him and his life, because, eventhough I left him, I never detached myself from him and being in constant contact with him because of our daughter almost gave me a reason to still question him about his lifestyle or try to enforce my opinions on him.
Last week I attended my 1st Nar-Anon meeting, yesterday I joined SR and so far I'm starting to understand that his addiction is HIS problem, eventhough I had made it my addiction as well and it had consumed me so much that I had lost reality of my own life.
I work full time, my daughter is in pre-school, we live on our own and we barely get by but we're happy. Up until a week ago I cried everyday, I worried everyday, I was still consumed by his life, but I have SLOWLY let go and I am doing fine. I'm much happier, I'm more productive and my attention is 100% given to my daughter.
Thank you for the opportunity to share my story and in return I'm happy so say that I will get advice, get help and find wonderful friends thru this website.
Thank you and I welcome everyone and anyone that wants to talk or offer some advice!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Glendale, CA
Posts: 19
Thank you so much for the welcomes! I'm looking forward to talking to everyone and helping myself get thru this. It seems like it's been such turmoil and the last thing I want is for my daughter to experience negativity in her life.
Thank you once again!
Thank you once again!
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