What gives?
9/15/08
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: midwest
Posts: 257
What gives?
I've been struggling with alcoholism for about 10 years now. Drank daily for most of the past five years, with a few months of sobriety here an there.
I'm currently on day 31 of my new sobriety.
The anxiety and irritability is almost unbearable for me. I have no interest in the usual activities. Every day is a struggle to break through the boredom, find meaning, and anticipate sleep so that my mind will finally be at ease.
I'm pissed off at everything. I have rage burning deep inside me. The smallest things set me off and make me want to attack others verbally (and in my mind, physically). The last meeting I attending I ended up fantasizing about choking the guy next to me who was sharing about his long-term success.
I've tried exercise, which helps a little. I've cut all sugar and caffeine out of my diet. I attend SOS/AA meetings. I share in meetings. I surround myself with sober people and have a good job. I've been in therapy and on anti-deps in the past...which didn't make any difference.
What gives?
I would be open to anti-anxiety meds, but don't want something that is habit-forming (obviously). I've tried relaxation-breathing exercises, such as Zen meditation, and it helped a little, but now I'm too agitated to try even that.
Any new suggestions?
I'm currently on day 31 of my new sobriety.
The anxiety and irritability is almost unbearable for me. I have no interest in the usual activities. Every day is a struggle to break through the boredom, find meaning, and anticipate sleep so that my mind will finally be at ease.
I'm pissed off at everything. I have rage burning deep inside me. The smallest things set me off and make me want to attack others verbally (and in my mind, physically). The last meeting I attending I ended up fantasizing about choking the guy next to me who was sharing about his long-term success.
I've tried exercise, which helps a little. I've cut all sugar and caffeine out of my diet. I attend SOS/AA meetings. I share in meetings. I surround myself with sober people and have a good job. I've been in therapy and on anti-deps in the past...which didn't make any difference.
What gives?
I would be open to anti-anxiety meds, but don't want something that is habit-forming (obviously). I've tried relaxation-breathing exercises, such as Zen meditation, and it helped a little, but now I'm too agitated to try even that.
Any new suggestions?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: My House
Posts: 1,122
Congrats on your sober time! That's awesome!!!
I wish I had some suggestions for you on this one... I know how hard it is to be happy when you lose interest in everything that you used to enjoy. If nothing else, know that I can relate to a lot of what you are saying, although mine are not related to coming off of any kind of substance.
I know you say the anti deps didn't help... which ones did you try? How long were you on them? I don't mean to be nosy, but there are so many out there and most take at least a month to fully work, maybe you just haven't found the one that you need yet? I've been on Wellbutrin for about two weeks now and so far it's working for me, which is weird because I do have anxiety issues and Wellbutrin is not supposed to work well for people with anxiety.
Others with more knowledge and experience than I have will be along soon I'm sure... I wish I knew what else to say.
I wish I had some suggestions for you on this one... I know how hard it is to be happy when you lose interest in everything that you used to enjoy. If nothing else, know that I can relate to a lot of what you are saying, although mine are not related to coming off of any kind of substance.
I know you say the anti deps didn't help... which ones did you try? How long were you on them? I don't mean to be nosy, but there are so many out there and most take at least a month to fully work, maybe you just haven't found the one that you need yet? I've been on Wellbutrin for about two weeks now and so far it's working for me, which is weird because I do have anxiety issues and Wellbutrin is not supposed to work well for people with anxiety.
Others with more knowledge and experience than I have will be along soon I'm sure... I wish I knew what else to say.
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
BuSpar is used for anxiety and is non-addictive.
You may find that helpful.
That being said, the fact that you've stopped drinking is anxiety provoking. It may or may not go away on it's own after you've been sober for some time.
If it's bothering you this much, I do think you should see a doctor.
Live's point is well stated. You cannot drink while on anti-depressants.
And so is Lady's. Different meds work for different people.
Don't give up before the miracle happens. You're worth it!
Shalom!
You may find that helpful.
That being said, the fact that you've stopped drinking is anxiety provoking. It may or may not go away on it's own after you've been sober for some time.
If it's bothering you this much, I do think you should see a doctor.
Live's point is well stated. You cannot drink while on anti-depressants.
And so is Lady's. Different meds work for different people.
Don't give up before the miracle happens. You're worth it!
Shalom!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Western N.Y.
Posts: 595
Overman, congratulations on your hard earned sober time. two idea's I would like to suggest to you to take into consideration before you start any medication is, 1st alcohol could take a very long time to leave your body and the physical, and for sure the mental withdraws from it could take months, and 2nd treat the loss of alcohol as if you were grieving being separated from the love of your life, which is was for me, the anger and rage you feel could be one of the stages of grief and completely normal. I do believe this is my first post since I joined, but I have been reading, researching, and following up on recommended sites for the last 6 months or so, with the help of my higher power and the kind patient people in the AA program I will be celebrating 20 years of continuous sobriety from alcohol this week, but on and off for the same period of time I have suffered the misery and pain of what I now know from your site as Bi-Polar2 thank you.
9/15/08
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: midwest
Posts: 257
I was on combos of Paxil, Prozac, Wellburtin, Zoloft, and Celexa in the past (mainly from 2001-2005). I was sober for each of the first few months I was on them, as I'm fully aware of how drinking can affect them.
The 'benefits' were negligible, as I never saw myself as 'depressed' and was simply looking for a magic pill. Am I doing that now? Also, the sexual side effects were unacceptable.
Wellbutrin made me even more agitated and po'd, so I stopped it after about two months.
I'll look into Buspar.
@ jurney
Thanks for the suggestion. It is helpful to view my anger as a stage of grief.
The 'benefits' were negligible, as I never saw myself as 'depressed' and was simply looking for a magic pill. Am I doing that now? Also, the sexual side effects were unacceptable.
Wellbutrin made me even more agitated and po'd, so I stopped it after about two months.
I'll look into Buspar.
@ jurney
Thanks for the suggestion. It is helpful to view my anger as a stage of grief.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Grants Pass, Oregon
Posts: 137
Overman,
Subconsciencely I think you are grieving the loss and absence of alcohol in your life. I think it's repressed anger/grief that you (we) cannot drink normally and never will be able to. Sorry to get so introspective so early in the morning. I'm only on Day 8 myself, but I get spells like that too, as I was a daily dinker and pill taker for over 20 years.
Subconsciencely I think you are grieving the loss and absence of alcohol in your life. I think it's repressed anger/grief that you (we) cannot drink normally and never will be able to. Sorry to get so introspective so early in the morning. I'm only on Day 8 myself, but I get spells like that too, as I was a daily dinker and pill taker for over 20 years.
9/15/08
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: midwest
Posts: 257
Thanks...and don't apologize for introspection. ;-)
From a psychodynamic perspective, you are correct.
I also see it as a behavioral aspect; not having that reward at the end of the day, and not being able to manage my anxiety without a crutch.
From a psychodynamic perspective, you are correct.
I also see it as a behavioral aspect; not having that reward at the end of the day, and not being able to manage my anxiety without a crutch.
Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: crownpoint newyork
Posts: 820
I take generic vistril for anxiety. It is not habit forming like some of the benzos are. I think it is fabulous u got sober. Keep up the good work.. one day at a time. Meds. help me especially, effexor. Take care of yourself and keep on keeping on. With love, Kerry
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Western N.Y.
Posts: 595
I found a post a few pages back that might be a direction for me to follow up on, and it was about Summer S.A.D. I had never heard of it before, but before I got sober I would
always relapse in June or July, and I have had, and it has caused, major problems during that period of time with anger and anxiety for the last 20 years. I am now back on the site looking for answers for the same old problems, and maybe I have something new to look at. I am bringing it up here b/c of the similarities concerning the anger and agitation that plague you in trying to find recovery in the Summertime.
always relapse in June or July, and I have had, and it has caused, major problems during that period of time with anger and anxiety for the last 20 years. I am now back on the site looking for answers for the same old problems, and maybe I have something new to look at. I am bringing it up here b/c of the similarities concerning the anger and agitation that plague you in trying to find recovery in the Summertime.
Unconditional Love
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4
My doctor prescribed 2 non-habit forming drugs that wiped out my cravings.
Naltrexone eases the cravings and Amitriptyline is for anxiety. This works wonders for me. I would recommend this especially in the early days when you want to chew your fist off.
Hope this helps.
Hope this helps.
9/15/08
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: midwest
Posts: 257
@ jurneyman
Summer is an awful time for me as well, but I don't think its a seasonal mood thing. The heat and humidity (especially here in the midwest) can be unbearable. That in itself makes me irritable and want to drink. Especially when everyday is 90 degrees with 50%(+) humidity, and you never stop sweating. Yuck!
@ catlover
I took Revia in the past, and did help with cravings, tho I still drank on it from time to time (wierd, as drinking on Naltrexone didnt include the usual euphoric feelings; just made me tired). I'm going to see the doc next week.
Amitriptyline (sp?) is an old school anti-depressant, iirc. Anti-deps really haven't done much for me in the past, but I appreciate your suggestion!
Summer is an awful time for me as well, but I don't think its a seasonal mood thing. The heat and humidity (especially here in the midwest) can be unbearable. That in itself makes me irritable and want to drink. Especially when everyday is 90 degrees with 50%(+) humidity, and you never stop sweating. Yuck!
@ catlover
I took Revia in the past, and did help with cravings, tho I still drank on it from time to time (wierd, as drinking on Naltrexone didnt include the usual euphoric feelings; just made me tired). I'm going to see the doc next week.
Amitriptyline (sp?) is an old school anti-depressant, iirc. Anti-deps really haven't done much for me in the past, but I appreciate your suggestion!
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