Please send positive thoughts my way this week. I need all I can get!
Life the gift of recovery!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Please send positive thoughts my way this week. I need all I can get!
Please send positive thoughts my way this week. My g/f mother bought us all tickets to go on this Alaskan cruise for her 80th birthday. The problem is my g/f sister is also going with her kids. The kids I don't mind. They are nice enough, especially her son. He has a nice calm demeanor. Her daughter though is very much like her. They both talk incessintly, loudly, and have such a hyper energy about them that it overwhelms my senses to be around them.
The best way for me to explain it is to give today as an example. Her mother asked me to book a hotel for us because our ship leaves tomorrow and she did not want to drive up to Seattle the same day as the ship leaves. She also insisted on paying for the 3 rooms. So I tried to get the lowest priced decent place to stay. When we get here her sister has a cow as we are trying to get checked in when she finds out that the rooms are smoking rooms and she doesn't smoke. Neither do I but who cares a room is a room and if you aren't smoking in it then there shouldn't be smoke in it. She also complained because the rooms were not on the ground floor. I made these reservations in March. She was quite vocal and finally stated that since they didn't have any non smoking rooms available that we would just go down the road to the next hotel and book there. I knew since we were 2 hours past the check in time there was no way they wouldn't charge us for the rooms but she insisted on going down the road. So she, her kids, and my g/f went to check the other place out while my g/f mother and father and I went next door to the bar and they had drinks while even though I really wanted a drink I had water. Well when they got back they insisted we go to the other place so I said then she needed to figure out how to get the money back out of our rooms. Also the place they wanted to go was twice the price. There was no way I was going to have her mother pick up that tab. That would have been extremely wrong. So her sister went over and ranted and raved at the manager demanding the deposit back. Meanwhile the manager is doing his best to figure out how to bump someone into a smoking room to free up non smoking for us. I got volunteered to go over and try to smooth things out. The manager would not waive the fees but was able to get two non smoking rooms on the ground floor and one smoking room on the second floor. So I smoothed things out and got her sister to calm down by saying we would take the smoking room and they could have the non smoking as I did not care, just wanted peace. That settled things there.
Then came dinner. She didn't want to go where everyone else did but finally calmed down and agreed. Then we get there and she talks non-stop. I wonder how she got any food down as her mouth never shut. She is so loud and hyper and her daughter is very similar. By the time dinner was done I was so stressed I just wanted to go to my room and relax in peace and quiet. The bad thing is I take Klonopin for anxiety and I had already taken my limit for the day and it did nothing to help. Actually I probably would have been in a full blown anxiety attack from the constant stimulation if I had not taken it.
I have to spend a week with this woman. Oh my God! I might be insane before I get back. I can not completely avoid her as this is a family thing. But I wish I could. Since it is her personality I dont' see it getting better this week.
So I really could use any positive thoughts you can send during this time as a drink really sounded good today. Even though I know drinking would not solve anything.
Take care everyone. I will try and pop in as I can. Thankfully the hotel has free internet so I could pop in this evening.
The best way for me to explain it is to give today as an example. Her mother asked me to book a hotel for us because our ship leaves tomorrow and she did not want to drive up to Seattle the same day as the ship leaves. She also insisted on paying for the 3 rooms. So I tried to get the lowest priced decent place to stay. When we get here her sister has a cow as we are trying to get checked in when she finds out that the rooms are smoking rooms and she doesn't smoke. Neither do I but who cares a room is a room and if you aren't smoking in it then there shouldn't be smoke in it. She also complained because the rooms were not on the ground floor. I made these reservations in March. She was quite vocal and finally stated that since they didn't have any non smoking rooms available that we would just go down the road to the next hotel and book there. I knew since we were 2 hours past the check in time there was no way they wouldn't charge us for the rooms but she insisted on going down the road. So she, her kids, and my g/f went to check the other place out while my g/f mother and father and I went next door to the bar and they had drinks while even though I really wanted a drink I had water. Well when they got back they insisted we go to the other place so I said then she needed to figure out how to get the money back out of our rooms. Also the place they wanted to go was twice the price. There was no way I was going to have her mother pick up that tab. That would have been extremely wrong. So her sister went over and ranted and raved at the manager demanding the deposit back. Meanwhile the manager is doing his best to figure out how to bump someone into a smoking room to free up non smoking for us. I got volunteered to go over and try to smooth things out. The manager would not waive the fees but was able to get two non smoking rooms on the ground floor and one smoking room on the second floor. So I smoothed things out and got her sister to calm down by saying we would take the smoking room and they could have the non smoking as I did not care, just wanted peace. That settled things there.
Then came dinner. She didn't want to go where everyone else did but finally calmed down and agreed. Then we get there and she talks non-stop. I wonder how she got any food down as her mouth never shut. She is so loud and hyper and her daughter is very similar. By the time dinner was done I was so stressed I just wanted to go to my room and relax in peace and quiet. The bad thing is I take Klonopin for anxiety and I had already taken my limit for the day and it did nothing to help. Actually I probably would have been in a full blown anxiety attack from the constant stimulation if I had not taken it.
I have to spend a week with this woman. Oh my God! I might be insane before I get back. I can not completely avoid her as this is a family thing. But I wish I could. Since it is her personality I dont' see it getting better this week.
So I really could use any positive thoughts you can send during this time as a drink really sounded good today. Even though I know drinking would not solve anything.
Take care everyone. I will try and pop in as I can. Thankfully the hotel has free internet so I could pop in this evening.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Oh Judith, I hope you manage to squeeze in some peace and serenity while on board.
Do they have meetings? They must!
Enjoy the scenery and time with your g/f, and just take it a moment at a time. I'm glad you are reaching out - keep doing so and check in when you can.
I will be thinking of you.
Do they have meetings? They must!
Enjoy the scenery and time with your g/f, and just take it a moment at a time. I'm glad you are reaching out - keep doing so and check in when you can.
I will be thinking of you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Wow, those people would make me run away screaming. I've gotta couple relatives like that, I pretend I'm having a migraine and just go hide. I know, it's not good recovery to be dishonest, and it's not building up my skills, but I have my limits, ya know.
I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way. Lots and lots and lots. You just keep posting here and let it all out with us. If it helps, imagine that all of SR is with you "virtually". We're like invisible ghots kicking those crazy people in the shins so they'll leave you alone.... and leave the hotel manager alone, and all the other people they're harasing.
Mike
I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way. Lots and lots and lots. You just keep posting here and let it all out with us. If it helps, imagine that all of SR is with you "virtually". We're like invisible ghots kicking those crazy people in the shins so they'll leave you alone.... and leave the hotel manager alone, and all the other people they're harasing.
Mike
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Cruise ships are BIG places, it is easy to give the slip to a group as I have done a number of times. Sometimes I had to set out in one direction to be seen and then double back on a different floor....but it can be done. There should be a library and yes, meetings.
Good luck!
Don't push them overboard
Good luck!
Don't push them overboard
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
You did a great job of smoothing out an awcward situation
It seems sis wants to control everything.
Let her and perhaps she will be quieter.....
At least you won't be sharing a cabin.
It seems sis wants to control everything.
Let her and perhaps she will be quieter.....
At least you won't be sharing a cabin.
A picture's worth a 1000 words
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: With any luck, I'm lost in a view finder
Posts: 2,954
ya...kudos on the great job with handling the hotel issues!!
ya...i like Carol's idea to just let the control freak have control....and let her own family deal with her need for constant attention.
And perhaps the ship might have some of those old GIANT headphones you can just wrap around your head and at least then you can 'pretend' to not be able to hear her (even if you don't have music playing lol).
And besides remembering to do lots of deep breathing and meditation excersizes....i really like Live's warning/idea about not pushing the creature overboard when no one's looking LOL !!!
Seriously, next time you feel drawn to just sock her in the mouth...instead, just look downward, close your eyes for a second, and play out your own little fantasy by visualizing how AWSOME it would be to watch her go screaming through the air as some "had-enough-bystander" reaches over and simply pushes her off the boat. LOL
Let yourself smile to yourself about how absolutely wonderful it would feel to see her being MADE to stop talking and controlling and then have no way she can do anything about it. It would be only be half as much torture to her as what she is putting you all through....but the mental picture of her off in her own little plastic boat in the middle of the ocean with no one around for miles OR the picture of her hands tied behind her back and her mouth taped solidly shut......well.....those 2 images definetly make ME SMILE!!!!
Am i bad? lol
Sending you much well wishes and prayers that she totally loses any and all ability to ruin the trip for you or anyone else. This is YOUR trip just as much as it is hers!!!!
HUGS,
Jenna
ya...i like Carol's idea to just let the control freak have control....and let her own family deal with her need for constant attention.
And perhaps the ship might have some of those old GIANT headphones you can just wrap around your head and at least then you can 'pretend' to not be able to hear her (even if you don't have music playing lol).
And besides remembering to do lots of deep breathing and meditation excersizes....i really like Live's warning/idea about not pushing the creature overboard when no one's looking LOL !!!
Seriously, next time you feel drawn to just sock her in the mouth...instead, just look downward, close your eyes for a second, and play out your own little fantasy by visualizing how AWSOME it would be to watch her go screaming through the air as some "had-enough-bystander" reaches over and simply pushes her off the boat. LOL
Let yourself smile to yourself about how absolutely wonderful it would feel to see her being MADE to stop talking and controlling and then have no way she can do anything about it. It would be only be half as much torture to her as what she is putting you all through....but the mental picture of her off in her own little plastic boat in the middle of the ocean with no one around for miles OR the picture of her hands tied behind her back and her mouth taped solidly shut......well.....those 2 images definetly make ME SMILE!!!!
Am i bad? lol
Sending you much well wishes and prayers that she totally loses any and all ability to ruin the trip for you or anyone else. This is YOUR trip just as much as it is hers!!!!
HUGS,
Jenna
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Sending prayers for a peaceful vacation. :praying
Walk away whenever possible, I agree. The ship is big, and I would make use of the size of it to stay as far as possible away from her. Just take the time to think about you and take care of you!
Shalom!
Walk away whenever possible, I agree. The ship is big, and I would make use of the size of it to stay as far as possible away from her. Just take the time to think about you and take care of you!
Shalom!
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Aren't families great?
You did the right thing throughout J. Just think of all the serenity that you'll be able to get from beautiful Alaska! That should help..
I"ll be thinking of you..
You did the right thing throughout J. Just think of all the serenity that you'll be able to get from beautiful Alaska! That should help..
I"ll be thinking of you..
Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: crownpoint newyork
Posts: 820
Hi, How was the massage? So glad u have already booked a second one, u deserve to treat yourself....... Just wanted to say hello and tell u I was thinking of u- So u haven't killed each other yet.. I love my family but traveling together might be a wee bit stressful. LOL Take Care with love Kerry
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