My Father is Heart Broken
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 172
My Father is Heart Broken
Tuesday morning at about 4:40am my father was driving to work the same way he has driven for 30 years. This was the most horrible day for my family. A young man about 27 years ran acrosss major roadway while on his cell phone and my father hit him with the car and killed him instantly. As it was still dark out at this time, he did not know what he hit. He immediately stoped the car and saw what he did. He called 911 and the police and paramedics came immediately.
My father is the most fantastic man I have ever known and this did not deserve to happen to him. He will live with this for the rest of his life. He has been crying non stop (I know this has nothing to do with Alcoholism or Addiction) but it is just something going on in my life that is really hurting me other then my AH. I feel for him so much my heart hurts. I feel for the family of this young man.
It turned out that the police were not able to truly identify this man because he had about 3 or 4 different identifacation on him all with different names and address. It also turns out that this man was staying a hotel on this major roadway known for major drugs and prostitution.
The police could not stress enough that the only thing my father did wrong was get up and be a productive member of society and go to work that day.
He is not understanding it though at this point, he is extremly upset - he keeps calling himself a killer. This is something that will haunt him for the rest of his life. Knowing he took a life - I am sure will change him forever.
I wish there was a way to make him understand that it was not his fault in anyway. This man should not have been crossing this highway as he did not have the right of way.
They are not sure - but the police assumed that since he was living at this Motel that he was an addict.
I agree with my father that this does not take away any of the pain. He is still someones son, father, grandson etc. I think the police said this to him to lessen the pain. But it did not help and I felt it was wrong of them to say.
Anyway, my family is just going through a hard time right now and I just needed to vent. Becase my heart is broken for the life that was lost and for my father who will be a changed man forever because of this horrible tragedy.
It got my mind off of my AH for a while. Although he has been great throughout the ordeal and has really been there for me, which surprised me...
Thanks for listening.
My father is the most fantastic man I have ever known and this did not deserve to happen to him. He will live with this for the rest of his life. He has been crying non stop (I know this has nothing to do with Alcoholism or Addiction) but it is just something going on in my life that is really hurting me other then my AH. I feel for him so much my heart hurts. I feel for the family of this young man.
It turned out that the police were not able to truly identify this man because he had about 3 or 4 different identifacation on him all with different names and address. It also turns out that this man was staying a hotel on this major roadway known for major drugs and prostitution.
The police could not stress enough that the only thing my father did wrong was get up and be a productive member of society and go to work that day.
He is not understanding it though at this point, he is extremly upset - he keeps calling himself a killer. This is something that will haunt him for the rest of his life. Knowing he took a life - I am sure will change him forever.
I wish there was a way to make him understand that it was not his fault in anyway. This man should not have been crossing this highway as he did not have the right of way.
They are not sure - but the police assumed that since he was living at this Motel that he was an addict.
I agree with my father that this does not take away any of the pain. He is still someones son, father, grandson etc. I think the police said this to him to lessen the pain. But it did not help and I felt it was wrong of them to say.
Anyway, my family is just going through a hard time right now and I just needed to vent. Becase my heart is broken for the life that was lost and for my father who will be a changed man forever because of this horrible tragedy.
It got my mind off of my AH for a while. Although he has been great throughout the ordeal and has really been there for me, which surprised me...
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Your father has my prayers for healing and acceptance. That has got to be a horrible thing to have gone thru. I think with time he will come to understand and accept that it was not his fault and that he is not a killer. But it will take time.
I will keep Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
When my brother was struck in the heart by lightening and killed instantly, I went on a personal quest to find the answer to why trajedies like this have to happen. It's fifteen years later, and I still haven't found the answer, though my pain has eased with the passage of time.
Hopefully, my HP will reveal the answer to me one day. Though it makes no sense today, I believe that one day the divine plan will be revealed to all of us.
Sending prayers of peace to you, your father, the young man's friends, family, and loved ones. What a tragic loss for everyone involved.
Hopefully, my HP will reveal the answer to me one day. Though it makes no sense today, I believe that one day the divine plan will be revealed to all of us.
Sending prayers of peace to you, your father, the young man's friends, family, and loved ones. What a tragic loss for everyone involved.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
(((sadandhopless and family)))))
My prayers go out for your dad. I know it must be very hard for him right now. He may not ever want to drive again. I hope he will be gentle with himself.
My mom was driving down a highway once and a man jumped off an over pass and landed on her car. My mom like your dad was not at fault. She still hurts over it and it happened when she was a teenager. She did eventually drive again out of necessity but it always scared her
My prayers go out for your dad. I know it must be very hard for him right now. He may not ever want to drive again. I hope he will be gentle with himself.
My mom was driving down a highway once and a man jumped off an over pass and landed on her car. My mom like your dad was not at fault. She still hurts over it and it happened when she was a teenager. She did eventually drive again out of necessity but it always scared her
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 172
Thank you everyone for your prayers and support. He does not seem to be doing any better. He is a really strong man. He did go back to work becuase he said sitting home would make it so much worse for him, that he needed to try and keep himself busy. He did drive - he said he was scared to death.
Everyone at his job was very supportive and positive aside from a couple of really mean people - that basically told him he should be ashamed of him self and they kept asking him if he was going to attend the funeral of the man he KILLED! I am heartbroken that there are people out there that have no heart.
I hope he is able to get through this with the love of his family. We love him very much.
Still parying for the life that was lost and will continue to pray for my dad's life that has been shattered. I hope it is true that time heals all wounds.
I appreciate all your prayers. You guys are the best!!!
Everyone at his job was very supportive and positive aside from a couple of really mean people - that basically told him he should be ashamed of him self and they kept asking him if he was going to attend the funeral of the man he KILLED! I am heartbroken that there are people out there that have no heart.
I hope he is able to get through this with the love of his family. We love him very much.
Still parying for the life that was lost and will continue to pray for my dad's life that has been shattered. I hope it is true that time heals all wounds.
I appreciate all your prayers. You guys are the best!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 169
Originally Posted by sadandhopeless 
Everyone at his job was very supportive and positive aside from a couple of really mean people - that basically told him he should be ashamed of him self and they kept asking him if he was going to attend the funeral of the man he KILLED! I am heartbroken that there are people out there that have no heart.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Thunder Bay
Posts: 186
I'm so sorry your dad is hurting so much. I'm glad that he drove to work - that's often the hardest part is driving again. I hope in time he realizes that going back there was nothing he could have done differently.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
((((sad)))) When things like this happen that don't make any sense, I just have to turn them over to God. Big prayers coming your way for you and your entire family. Your father did absolutely nothing wrong. I pray that in time he will forgive himself. It was a senseless tragedy, but not one for which he is responsible.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
