ImmerAllein

So, this has been weighing on me pretty heavy lately. The final act that kicked off the worst period of my life was when I moved back to Europe, then the UK. Foolishly, I though I could just leave all the bad stuff behind and start fresh. I enrolled in the university and started my mPhil. Looking back though, the day I stepped off of the plane was the day that it got REALLY bad for me. REALLY BAD. Anyway...I lived in relative solitude while there, afraid to make any friends for fear that they'd want to go out and drink. So, instead, I'd just buy huge amounts of booze and drink in my room by myself because I was lonely. Smart. Well, the first day of class, a total random stranger introduced herself to me. No one else did. I have a persona that I can adopt that puts up a fierce exterior that works well at keeping people at bay. I'm not sure if anyone else has ever had this experience - its only happened to me once in my life; this was that time. You meet someone who is the same as you. I'm not talking about lifestyle, political opinions, hobbies, etc..., but rather truly at their core the same as you. Anyway, it turns out that this girl is a recovering alcoholic, who had just gotten her life back together after some pretty miserable crap. REALLY miserable crap. She spoke openly to me about everything: the ups, downs, bad stuff and good stuff. She'd even say, "I don't know why I'm telling you this. I'd never tell anybody this." I have to say that at first it made me uncomfortable - because everything that she experienced, I either already had or would in the following years. After a while, I found myself broke, nowhere to live, and alone and no way to get back to the states. One day, I packed all that I had and just left...I didn't even say good bye. Like I said, this kicked off the wost part of my life. However, through the following years, no matter how bad it got, I always new in the back of my mind, that there was hope, you could change things and you could make right. Ultimately, the choice to stop using was mine...I know that. I tried to quit for other reasons in the past and that never worked for me. I had to quit for me, otherwise, I never was going to. But, I think back to that day, and had that total stranger never came up to me and introduced herself, I honestly don't know where I'd be today...and I never thanked her. She removed every stigma about being a recovering alcoholic that I had. She showed me that you can get your life back; that there is a life without drink - a good life. That no matter how much we've screwed up, we don't have to go back, but can move forward. Ultimately, it was the happiness and success that she was able to find in her life, that made me take a good look at how I was living mine. During the time that we knew each other, we both learned alot from each other, but I have to say that knowing her saved my life and I never thanked her. I know that I'm only going into my fourth week, but she had only just passed 30 days when we met. I just hope maybe someday I'll be able to return the favor to someone else. Anyway...just sitting here on a random saturday afternoon, with random thoughts going through my head.

Anna

Hi,

I truly believe that certain people come into our lives at a time when we really need them. It's not by coincidence, in my opinion. It's the universe helping us along and showing us the way.

I'm glad you have been inspired and I'm sure that you will inspire someone else.

Horselover

I have to agree 100 percent with what Anna said and the more you look back on your life the more it looks like chapters in a book and you can say, "Oh well that needed to happen so B and C could occur." Scary isn't it? Thank you so much for your post.

CarolD

...Powerful share, thanks.

Congratulations on your new life!

FizzyWater

Posting inspiring posts like this can only help with that hope.

Thanks