One Day at a Time in Al Anon ~ July 11~ What If?
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One Day at a Time in Al Anon ~ July 11~ What If?
7/11 One Day at a Time in Al-Anon 7/11
“What if….” How often we hear these words from those who live with an alcoholic problem. Only two little words, but they’re heavy with dread, fear and anxiety.
“What if he doesn’t come home?” – “What if she doesn’t take care of the children while I’m at work?” – “What if he spends all his pay on liquor?” – What if…anything our desperate imaginings can project.
Granted these things can happen, but when they don’t, we have put ourselves through needless suffering and made ourselves even less prepared to deal with them if they should come.
Today’s Reminder
In Al-Anon, the answer to “What if…is “Don’t project! Don’t imagine the worst; deal with your problems as they arise. Live one day at a time.”
I cannot do anything about things that haven’t happened; I will not let past experiences make me dread the unknown future.
“It is a vain and unprofitable thing to conceive either grief or joy for future things which perhaps will never come about.”
“What if….” How often we hear these words from those who live with an alcoholic problem. Only two little words, but they’re heavy with dread, fear and anxiety.
“What if he doesn’t come home?” – “What if she doesn’t take care of the children while I’m at work?” – “What if he spends all his pay on liquor?” – What if…anything our desperate imaginings can project.
Granted these things can happen, but when they don’t, we have put ourselves through needless suffering and made ourselves even less prepared to deal with them if they should come.
Today’s Reminder
In Al-Anon, the answer to “What if…is “Don’t project! Don’t imagine the worst; deal with your problems as they arise. Live one day at a time.”
I cannot do anything about things that haven’t happened; I will not let past experiences make me dread the unknown future.
“It is a vain and unprofitable thing to conceive either grief or joy for future things which perhaps will never come about.”
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Catspjs
Another beautiful reminder from Al Anon! Thank you!
The "what if" game caused me more anxiety than anything. I was really good at imagining the worst. That is such an awful feeling.....just thinking about how that feels is causing me anxiety.....that's how powerful it is.
This was (is) one of the biggest lessons that I had to deal with about me. I love this:
thank you!
Another beautiful reminder from Al Anon! Thank you!
The "what if" game caused me more anxiety than anything. I was really good at imagining the worst. That is such an awful feeling.....just thinking about how that feels is causing me anxiety.....that's how powerful it is.
This was (is) one of the biggest lessons that I had to deal with about me. I love this:
“It is a vain and unprofitable thing to conceive either grief or joy for future things which perhaps will never come about.”
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
I have a different perspective on the "what if's"
I tried to not "what if" for a couple of months in the program and was crazier than a bessie bug!! (let us not forget I was pretty nuts before I came in to start with!!!)
so then my sponsor said - "well play the what if's thru". At that time my worse "what if" was that AH would relapse and I would have to deal with all that stuff again. We went thru that and realized I would be ok because at least now I had my own program of recovery to help me.
That was almost 5 yrs ago and a H#LL of lot worse stuff has happen including AH relapse, AD going to jail twice, losing custody of all 3 of her children, a Hurricane that messed up our home, blah, blah, blah
And I'm still here - bee bopping along -
I do find for me in a safe environment (with a sponsor or another trusted recovery friend) it is ok to play the "what if's" all the way thru and then realize I'm still going to be ok - I may experience a lot of pain - But no matter what me & my God are going to be ok, even better than OK.
thanks for the topic - a really great one for me.
Rita
I tried to not "what if" for a couple of months in the program and was crazier than a bessie bug!! (let us not forget I was pretty nuts before I came in to start with!!!)
so then my sponsor said - "well play the what if's thru". At that time my worse "what if" was that AH would relapse and I would have to deal with all that stuff again. We went thru that and realized I would be ok because at least now I had my own program of recovery to help me.
That was almost 5 yrs ago and a H#LL of lot worse stuff has happen including AH relapse, AD going to jail twice, losing custody of all 3 of her children, a Hurricane that messed up our home, blah, blah, blah
And I'm still here - bee bopping along -
I do find for me in a safe environment (with a sponsor or another trusted recovery friend) it is ok to play the "what if's" all the way thru and then realize I'm still going to be ok - I may experience a lot of pain - But no matter what me & my God are going to be ok, even better than OK.
thanks for the topic - a really great one for me.
Rita
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