Feeling shaky..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 47
Feeling shaky..
I'm feeling shaky :help
here it is day 6 for me...(july 4th, 2008 midnightish?) was my last drink..... I never in my life tried to actually stop drinking forever.. `
I'm feeling very agitated & shaky, on my inside. I feel like crying.. I'm not in a full fledged detox meltdown I guess. i've read some stories on this board that break my heart...
I'm so sorry that anyone has to go through these various levels of torture...sometimes when I have read these posts over the past week, i even more ashamed, like my "issue' must not be as bad as others who have suffered, violent illness, throwing up ect..
I'm, irritable & shaky had a couple nights of sleeplessness, shaky...so what, I chastise myself!! so I feel even worse...am I just a weak person? If I haven't suffered the ultimate bottom, why can't I shake this feeling, this craving to just let the ice clink in the glass...? is this my bottom? how will I know? I just want to be able to hold on...
I go all day long and I'm fine..I hardly think about having a drink, then as soon as I hit the door at 5pm...its like a vacuum..every nerve in my body gets twisted up, screwed up..and I'm on the edge of the earth bouncing off the walls........ I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience? Is this situational drinking?
I keep thinking..should i never come home? its not really funny....
Suzi who is having a really rough nite
here it is day 6 for me...(july 4th, 2008 midnightish?) was my last drink..... I never in my life tried to actually stop drinking forever.. `
I'm feeling very agitated & shaky, on my inside. I feel like crying.. I'm not in a full fledged detox meltdown I guess. i've read some stories on this board that break my heart...
I'm so sorry that anyone has to go through these various levels of torture...sometimes when I have read these posts over the past week, i even more ashamed, like my "issue' must not be as bad as others who have suffered, violent illness, throwing up ect..
I'm, irritable & shaky had a couple nights of sleeplessness, shaky...so what, I chastise myself!! so I feel even worse...am I just a weak person? If I haven't suffered the ultimate bottom, why can't I shake this feeling, this craving to just let the ice clink in the glass...? is this my bottom? how will I know? I just want to be able to hold on...
I go all day long and I'm fine..I hardly think about having a drink, then as soon as I hit the door at 5pm...its like a vacuum..every nerve in my body gets twisted up, screwed up..and I'm on the edge of the earth bouncing off the walls........ I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience? Is this situational drinking?
I keep thinking..should i never come home? its not really funny....
Suzi who is having a really rough nite
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
each person's pain is just as great as anothers. Bottoms are always hard and early sobriety hold different pain for each of us....not one more than the other. So be gentle with your self and treat yourself with compasion.
What is the same is that many of us DO get through those early days and move on to a sobriety that is truly a wonderful experience.
Don't give up before the miricle happens!
:ghug
What is the same is that many of us DO get through those early days and move on to a sobriety that is truly a wonderful experience.
Don't give up before the miricle happens!
:ghug
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
"I go all day long and I'm fine..I hardly think about having a drink, then as soon as I hit the door at 5pm...its like a vacuum..every nerve in my body gets twisted up, screwed up..and I'm on the edge of the earth bouncing off the walls........ I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience? Is this situational drinking?"
Oh Gawd YES! I would wake up feeling absolutely like what you would find on the bottom of your shoe and say there is absolutely no way on God's green earth that I am going to have anything tonight. Okay 11:30 am rolls around and I'm thinking I don't feel that bad really. Wonder what's in my cupboard. 3:30 pm rolls around and I'm peering in the cupboard and wondering if there's enough in there. 4:30 pm rolls around and I'm driving to the store to get some odds and ends "Milk, toothpaste, dog food, WINE" 5:00 pm I roll into the driveway and start supper with glass in hand. I certainly can identify with you Suzie!!
The emotional part I had and sometimes still have. One night I was sure we had a bird stuck in our wall. Long story short - I'm crying. Husband works late and comes home. He reaches up and pulls out a bit of insulation. Now who's the fool?! We had a cricket in the house making all sorts of noise and I mistook that for the bird stuck in the wall. I felt like I was going to be admitted that very night. I also was crying over a dog that's been left outside. Now the dog has shelter and the woman (a retired minister) feeds and waters and loves the dog, but I felt like it should be inside sleeping on the bed like ours does. Crazy stuff!
I am somewhere around 50 something days sober and believe I am finally making a little more sense and what felt like constant everyday PMS is slowly fading away. I actually thought I might be pregnant due to my forgetfulness too.
You can do it. It can be done and yes some of us have stood where you are standing. Hugs and prayers for you Suzi!!
Oh Gawd YES! I would wake up feeling absolutely like what you would find on the bottom of your shoe and say there is absolutely no way on God's green earth that I am going to have anything tonight. Okay 11:30 am rolls around and I'm thinking I don't feel that bad really. Wonder what's in my cupboard. 3:30 pm rolls around and I'm peering in the cupboard and wondering if there's enough in there. 4:30 pm rolls around and I'm driving to the store to get some odds and ends "Milk, toothpaste, dog food, WINE" 5:00 pm I roll into the driveway and start supper with glass in hand. I certainly can identify with you Suzie!!
The emotional part I had and sometimes still have. One night I was sure we had a bird stuck in our wall. Long story short - I'm crying. Husband works late and comes home. He reaches up and pulls out a bit of insulation. Now who's the fool?! We had a cricket in the house making all sorts of noise and I mistook that for the bird stuck in the wall. I felt like I was going to be admitted that very night. I also was crying over a dog that's been left outside. Now the dog has shelter and the woman (a retired minister) feeds and waters and loves the dog, but I felt like it should be inside sleeping on the bed like ours does. Crazy stuff!
I am somewhere around 50 something days sober and believe I am finally making a little more sense and what felt like constant everyday PMS is slowly fading away. I actually thought I might be pregnant due to my forgetfulness too.
You can do it. It can be done and yes some of us have stood where you are standing. Hugs and prayers for you Suzi!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
is there anyone you can have come over and sit with you to keep your mind of it...or someone who you could go visit that doesn't use? Perhaps an AA meeting or hotline to call for a ride to a meeting? those things can help.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
The more water you drink the quicker the toxins leave.
Gator-ade is also good.
Aspirins for aches...hard candy for shakes
A soft diet is best ... Bubble baths relax you
You never have to feel like this again.
Think of this as the end of your old life
and the re birth of the new.
Double
Gator-ade is also good.
Aspirins for aches...hard candy for shakes
A soft diet is best ... Bubble baths relax you
You never have to feel like this again.
Think of this as the end of your old life
and the re birth of the new.
Double
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 47
unglued
Thanks,
I'm having a good cry right now. The hubby is downstairs, suffering his own pain of recent rotator cuff surgery, so i'm trying quietly to do this.. I'm such a tin woman...I'm having trouble in the ole relationship with the hubby for a couple years...so not looking to add fuel.....
but i think you are right, maybe I'm distracted by the day of my job & all the kids around me, but when i'm home i'm basically alone...I mean I have my mom & my wife chores..but thank god i found this site...I was always a quiet drunk..I guess...even at my worst i could keep my physical world in tip shape..I feel like I'm coming unglued..
my sister says I isolate..i feel like I'm puking it all out here, in the safety of the net.. & I still feel guilty for not being able to hold it together..so thanks Ananda, I cried when i read your suggestion to be gentle with myself..hell I haven't been gentle with myself since I was 7 and I'm 40!
I think i'll go brush my teeth & take a walk... thats just weird...lol
thanks for the support i hope someday to be useful to help someone else..
I'm having a good cry right now. The hubby is downstairs, suffering his own pain of recent rotator cuff surgery, so i'm trying quietly to do this.. I'm such a tin woman...I'm having trouble in the ole relationship with the hubby for a couple years...so not looking to add fuel.....
but i think you are right, maybe I'm distracted by the day of my job & all the kids around me, but when i'm home i'm basically alone...I mean I have my mom & my wife chores..but thank god i found this site...I was always a quiet drunk..I guess...even at my worst i could keep my physical world in tip shape..I feel like I'm coming unglued..
my sister says I isolate..i feel like I'm puking it all out here, in the safety of the net.. & I still feel guilty for not being able to hold it together..so thanks Ananda, I cried when i read your suggestion to be gentle with myself..hell I haven't been gentle with myself since I was 7 and I'm 40!
I think i'll go brush my teeth & take a walk... thats just weird...lol
thanks for the support i hope someday to be useful to help someone else..
I believe I can do this
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 85
I am with you Susie. . . Today marks my first week sober in a very long time. Those cravings can really come on strong. The best advice I got on here was doing other activities and being with other people. I've been eating jolly ranchers like they are free, listening to music doing chores, and talking, talking and more talking. We are in a tough period right now. I believe from the posts on this site and from the encouragement of friends that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm going on faith right now and I really believe it will be better. We will both make it to the other side.
I believe I can do this
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by CarolD 
The more water you drink the quicker the toxins leave.
Gator-ade is also good.
Aspirins for aches...hard candy for shakes
A soft diet is best ... Bubble baths relax you
You never have to feel like this again.
Think of this as the end of your old life
and the re birth of the new.
Double
Gator-ade is also good.
Aspirins for aches...hard candy for shakes
A soft diet is best ... Bubble baths relax you
You never have to feel like this again.
Think of this as the end of your old life
and the re birth of the new.
Double
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 47
re: sugar
FreeinMilwaukee,
I didn't know that sugar was such a big component of this...I was mess earlier..but after a warm bath, some Gatoraid (Thanks CarolD!!!) and some candy advice from Ananda!, 3 sugardaddies i found in my closet from last Halloween! I'm feeling much better.....thanks I hope i can encourage you all to stay free
Now if I can only go to sleep...:ghug
I didn't know that sugar was such a big component of this...I was mess earlier..but after a warm bath, some Gatoraid (Thanks CarolD!!!) and some candy advice from Ananda!, 3 sugardaddies i found in my closet from last Halloween! I'm feeling much better.....thanks I hope i can encourage you all to stay free
Now if I can only go to sleep...:ghug
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I see you have a new Avatar to denote your new beginning?
It's sooo suitable as we emerge from the cocoon of addiction
into the beautiful sunlight of sobriety.
Sleep may be difficult
Here is a link for sleeping tips
Insomnia? 41 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures
You too can win over alcohol!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kingston,Pa
Posts: 11
Tis is night three after a seven day bender(hard). I woke up this morning and my hips and lower back were very sore. I am not sure this has to do with my detox. This is the first time I have sensed this. (This is my seventh time detoxi---third time by myself. I have been taking .05 mgs of Klonopin 3x a day. Other symptoms are limited to the usual anxiety shaky nausea, diarrarrea confusion insomnia. I know this has got to stop. Any advise on the muscle pain?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Originally Posted by markmesober
Tis is night three after a seven day bender(hard). I woke up this morning and my hips and lower back were very sore. I am not sure this has to do with my detox. This is the first time I have sensed this. (This is my seventh time detoxi---third time by myself. I have been taking .05 mgs of Klonopin 3x a day. Other symptoms are limited to the usual anxiety shaky nausea, diarrarrea confusion insomnia. I know this has got to stop. Any advise on the muscle pain?
As far as medical advice, call your doctor...they know so much.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 179
Suzis: I identify with that 5:00 need, and am finding a class of orange juice as soon as I walk in the door in the evening to be helpful. Also, I acknowledging that I am alone when I am home--and I need to be aware that drinking was a way to buffer the unacknowledged pain or anxiety associated with this. By being aware of this aloneness, I am trying to then be kind to myself, not feel sorry for myself or dwell on it. Somehow just the awareness makes me feel better.
Mark: have you tried a hot bath with epsom salt? (you can buy it cheap without all the added perfumes at a place like WalMart)
Mark: have you tried a hot bath with epsom salt? (you can buy it cheap without all the added perfumes at a place like WalMart)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 449
I've found hot showers and/or baths really do work.
I discovered the strangest thing a few days ago. I was starting to get that detox anxiety that comes the first few days after stopping after a bad bender. Anyway, I was making myself some organic tomato soup for dinner.
And... as soon as I took one sip of the soup, my anxiety completely vanished!
How weird is that? I wonder if it had to do with something that is in it, or if it was because it was a hot, comforting liquid... anyone else ever hear of this?
I discovered the strangest thing a few days ago. I was starting to get that detox anxiety that comes the first few days after stopping after a bad bender. Anyway, I was making myself some organic tomato soup for dinner.
And... as soon as I took one sip of the soup, my anxiety completely vanished!
How weird is that? I wonder if it had to do with something that is in it, or if it was because it was a hot, comforting liquid... anyone else ever hear of this?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
markmesober....
I also think seeing a doctor is wise.
Then you can set your mind at ease
or find out for certain if you need medical assistance.
Congratulations on your fresh start
Welcome to SR!
I also think seeing a doctor is wise.
Then you can set your mind at ease
or find out for certain if you need medical assistance.
Congratulations on your fresh start
Welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Hi Suzie - Hope you are well today. Post when you have time. Sorry about my earlier post. I noticed it was too much on the "me" side without the information you needed. I'm glad others provided you with ideas that were great. I am pushing for you and hope you have a great day. Hugs to you when you need them today.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kingston,Pa
Posts: 11
Day 4---Thanks for the advice gang.I tried to see Dr. this morning. Called answering service which assured me he would be in at 8am. I got up,bathed ate something and arrived in an empty parking lot.(even though I was in a good sleep prior) I could have killed the service. I have a call in, and am currently awaiting call back. Pain ranges from bad to real bad. Last night I had to take "pain killer" to subdue. it was the last thing I wanted to do, but I was up until 4am. If no call back I might have to go to Emrg
Pain seems centered in hip,lowerback/upper buttock. Net seems to be pointing to Sciatica. I hate having to tell them where I am coming from. I know I must. Any other ideas???
Thanks,
Mark
Pain seems centered in hip,lowerback/upper buttock. Net seems to be pointing to Sciatica. I hate having to tell them where I am coming from. I know I must. Any other ideas???
Thanks,
Mark
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 47
re: feeling a little less shaky..but hey its early!
Oh Mark, I hope you are doing better...Please call your doctor or pm CarolD I've been reading around here, that she pretty much knows what to do in the early stages and has been a very good help to me. But everyone here has good advice. (thanks Ananda)
I myself am on only day 7...first time in my life..I like to say I was a low volume, high frequency drinker...which basically made me numb...every evening after the six o'clock news..
so I am suffering more head issues, than physical ones. So far I've only had insomnia, headaches, fuzzy brain, anxiety.....I'm so glad I found this site & all the good advice on it! so stick around and keep posting..it is really a big help..
But I'm still feeling shaky today...a little less, but I got the same twisted up feelings when I walked in the door tonight....and I spent the entire day at a local state park with my "charges" (I'm a nanny, can you believe they actually pay me to hike in the woods!! LOL I was having a great day, not thinking at all about drinking..not at all!!! (so it is very confusing to me!) but like clock work, as soon as I hit the driveway..it started....& I just realized today..that part of my problem (and I'm not laying all the blame on him, even if he was the official VT maker for many years..(yet he doesn't really drink himself..hmmmmmmm)
But what I realized tonight is that I have been drowning my issues in my marriage...for the past 3 years! I actually am sitting here, sipping some chai tea & a sugar daddy..and I just told my husband, why I have come up to my room to be alone every night this week. I don't even think he understood all week, that I was trying to get on the wagon since July 4th!
(I know I do the passive agressive thing very well, but tonight he was angry that I was jovial with him..oye! so I explained that while I wasn't cashing in the wedding check, I needed some space, while I figured this all out.. and that I was praying that Charlotte (our first and new therapist) could help us out with these issues...I have read People/Places/Things..but I guess we will have to wait and see..
So I am finding the distinct connection between drinking and our emotions..so I am wondering what anyone elses take on the connection is?
Oh and do I get to celebrate for not hitting the sauce for 7 straight days! It feels like an eternity!
but just for tonight I won't drink...
I myself am on only day 7...first time in my life..I like to say I was a low volume, high frequency drinker...which basically made me numb...every evening after the six o'clock news..
so I am suffering more head issues, than physical ones. So far I've only had insomnia, headaches, fuzzy brain, anxiety.....I'm so glad I found this site & all the good advice on it! so stick around and keep posting..it is really a big help..
But I'm still feeling shaky today...a little less, but I got the same twisted up feelings when I walked in the door tonight....and I spent the entire day at a local state park with my "charges" (I'm a nanny, can you believe they actually pay me to hike in the woods!! LOL
I was having a great day, not thinking at all about drinking..not at all!!! (so it is very confusing to me!) but like clock work, as soon as I hit the driveway..it started....& I just realized today..that part of my problem (and I'm not laying all the blame on him, even if he was the official VT maker for many years..(yet he doesn't really drink himself..hmmmmmmm) But what I realized tonight is that I have been drowning my issues in my marriage...for the past 3 years! I actually am sitting here, sipping some chai tea & a sugar daddy..and I just told my husband, why I have come up to my room to be alone every night this week. I don't even think he understood all week, that I was trying to get on the wagon since July 4th!
(I know I do the passive agressive thing very well, but tonight he was angry that I was jovial with him..oye! so I explained that while I wasn't cashing in the wedding check, I needed some space, while I figured this all out.. and that I was praying that Charlotte (our first and new therapist) could help us out with these issues...I have read People/Places/Things..but I guess we will have to wait and see..
So I am finding the distinct connection between drinking and our emotions..so I am wondering what anyone elses take on the connection is?
Oh and do I get to celebrate for not hitting the sauce for 7 straight days! It feels like an eternity!
but just for tonight I won't drink...
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