CBB126

Hi all..I am asking for some prayers today. I scrolled through my phone and realized that I didn't have 1 single person to call for comfort. Not 1. I have let this disease isolate me so much, until I am a shell. My panic attacks have gone through the roof and I am emotionally bereft.

Two months ago, I secured an apartment, planning to leave my AH of 20 years. The week I was to leave, I lost my job. Devestated does not describe my feelings. We own a house, 2 children, 1 in college. I had enough. I just planned to let the house go. It is not selling in this economy, no telling when it will go. I decided that it is not worth my health. I have been unemployed for 5 weeks now, I have still kept the apartment, using my savings. I had started to furnish it from the salvation army, decorating it to my taste and praying that a job comes through but staying at my house - I guess using it as a crutch, scared to just move without a job, I don't know. It is certainly not for support. There is none here.

Fast forward to yesterday, we are in possession of a cat that my Alcoholic Mother-in-law owned. (That is a whole 'nother story there) She is now in a nursing home. I am asthmatic, and allergic to cats. The cat is horrible, two days ago he attacked me, bit my leg and scratched me as I was trying to bring him inside. Yesterday he pooped on the couch - (yes, he knows how to use a litter box). I told my AH husband this, on top of the fact that my asthma is now escalating. His words were "i can't get rid of the cat". That was the straw that broke the camels back. I am planning to leave next week, without having a job. I have some money saved, can live a few months with my unemployment. I am stepping out on faith, knowing that there has to be a better way. Please pray for me as I start on this journey. Thank you.

Impurrfect

(((Cbb)))

Sending you huge hugs and prayers! It is hard to step out on faith, but every time I've done it, it has turned out fine...sometimes better than I expected.

Amy

LucyA

I don't usually pray CBB, but theres one on its way for you from across the water. I've learned to trust things bigger than me, things will work out alright for you, maybe not right away and maybe not exactly as you imagine, but they will.

Chrysalis123

:praying

I am sorry you are suffering. I can relate to the isolation as I too had no one to turn too. I started to go to Alanon 8 months ago and that has helped me in many ways. I am beginning to develop some friends from my home meeting that I can share my real self. It is wonderful to begin learning how to do this....finally, because it has always been my deepest wish to have deep connections with people. I just didn't know how and was afraid. I also know I can call my alanon friends or even other people from the meeting. Be gentle with yourself today.

Rella927

Sending you prayers and postive thoughts!

Mkiz418

You're in my thoughts and prayers...

*hugs*

ARealLady

Hugs and many positive thoughts going your way, CBB. Keep us posted, please.

ARL

nowinsituation

Wow, I also know the feeling of wanting to reach out but not feeling like I am able to call a single person. I have just been sitting here trying very hard not to feel sorry for myself for that exact reason. So, hope it helps to know that your SR family is here! And prayers for you for sure.

cmc

Prayers on the way and you have my support as well.

tryingtofly

You're in my prayers

peaceteach

Prayers coming for you. Hang tough, girl. HP can work miracles if we open ourselves up to people. Is there a women's shelter that might help or give you some employment tips? Don't give up and don't be afraid to seek help and public assistance. Call family, call friends, call anyone who might have a line on a job. You don't have to do everything all by yourself (major codie trait)!

CatsPajamas

I would say the same thing : call a shelter or 2. They have some really good resources for women in situations like yours. Is there any chance of you collecting unemployment? It never hurts to apply!

We're here for you too... open 24 hrs a day.

Hugs
Cats

Barbara52

You have my prayers also.

Kindeyes

You are putting your life in the hands of your HP (whomever, whatever you believe him/her/it to be). Add my prayers to those above. That's a WHOLE LOT of positive energy to add to your own faith that everything will work out.

gentle hugs

CBB126

Thanks to all...I really appreciate the support. I have turned every stone, shaking every tree to find employment. I am trying to stay positive. I know I have to trust my higher power and myself to know that I will make it through. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

miss communicat

Keep on keeping on, with your faith. I'l back you up with my prayers!

FormerDoormat

Sending more prayers your way. Many women on SR have traveled the same journey on faith alone and all of them have fared well, myself included. You are never alone. Your higher power is always at your side.

sadandhopeless

I am praying for you. you will be ok. You are already doing the hardest part and that is leaving. The economy is bad, but you will find another job. Just think of the peace and quiet and peace of mind you will have in your own place. It will all work out. Remember god only sends are way what we can handle. You are doing great. If you can afford for a few months to be on your own to start your life then I say go for it. you will find a job, may not be the job you want, but it will help get you in the right direction.

good luck to you. Keep us posted.

sadandhopeless

Also, not sure where you live, but try a temp agency for a job in your field or prosession. A lot of times the temp jobs will turn into a permanent position. Keep you head up a job will come along.