Hi old SR friends!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: FL
Posts: 4
Hi old SR friends!
hey everyone. i'm not new here... i used to visit years ago.
i just got finished reading the book "beautiful boy". it was written by the father of a meth addict. it is a heartbreaking story that brought me to tears because it is so similar to where my husband was just a few years back. his DOC was heroin, although it doesn't make much of a difference what drug it was because the stories are always the same.
the book got me thinking about a friend i used to have on here, although i cant remember her username, who was going through the exact same thing that i was. she lived in london and even though we were thousands of miles away, we were able to connect through our sickening worry, anger, frustration, and heartache. so i started to wonder about her and how she is doing, if she still visits SR, and here i am. it's monik. if you remember me, please say hi
for those of you that i have never met or may not remember me, i'll give you a little background/update:
D and i were together for a year before i realized he was addicted to heroin. i was in denial, continuously making excuses for his pot smoking, pill popping, and belligerent drunkenness. i saw it as normal 20something partying... i did it too, not the pot smoking but the drinking and occasional xanax popping. there was something different about the way he did it though, it was never enough for him. he didn't take 1, he took 5, 10, 20 even. so from there came the typical downward spiral of addiction. it happened quickly after his best friend died. after a few failed attempts at rehab and me finally confirming that he was, in fact, shooting heroin in my home, i left him. i had enough turmoil, suffering, obsessing, crying... i just had enough. i left without turning back because i knew that i had to do what was best for ME... i couldn't help him. so for almost a year i heard the horror stories from mutual friends: he was dealing heroin to support his own habit, he was homeless, he was in jail... then the stories stopped. for a few months i thought about him and what he was doing, if he was ok, alive, sad or scared. then i heard from a close friend of mine who told me he was in rehab, on his own, and that he was doing great. i missed him. loved him. i wanted to see him, so i called his mom. she told me not to call him, to give it some time, it was too soon, he was still in inpatient. about a week later i heard from him. he had a weekend pass and wanted to get together for coffee, if i was willing. from there we slowly rebuilt our relationship. i started attending his outpatient family groups, couples counseling, his NA meetings, i stopped going to bars w/ my friends, met his friends in recovery and became friends with them myself. i naturally began trusting him again because for the first time in our relationship, he left it all open. i didn't ask, he just did it. he gave me absolutely no reason NOT to trust him. soon he had one year clean, we moved in together, he proposed to me, his two years clean came, we got married. D now works in a treatment center helping other addicts, he speaks at high schools and shares his story with young teens. they look up to him. they even ask for his autograph haha. he also decided to go back to school and get a degree in addiction counseling. i am back in school too... getting my masters in marital and family therapy and dedicating my life to helping other couples who are still suffering, or who are trying to get past it.
today i can honestly say we have an awesome life together. the life we were supposed to have. i wont deny that there are days (although very few and far between) that i think about what i would do if he ever went back to his old life. this usually happens when a friend of our in recovery relapses, or worse, dies of an overdose. it's scary. it is a reminder that this is no joke... it wakes us both up and reminds us where we came from. i remind myself though that there is no sense in worrying about something that hasn't and might never happen. i enjoy the moment... today, and i hope and encourage you to try to do the same. i know it's hard, but it makes the big picture so much easier. my heart goes out to all of you.
take care, monik
i just got finished reading the book "beautiful boy". it was written by the father of a meth addict. it is a heartbreaking story that brought me to tears because it is so similar to where my husband was just a few years back. his DOC was heroin, although it doesn't make much of a difference what drug it was because the stories are always the same.
the book got me thinking about a friend i used to have on here, although i cant remember her username, who was going through the exact same thing that i was. she lived in london and even though we were thousands of miles away, we were able to connect through our sickening worry, anger, frustration, and heartache. so i started to wonder about her and how she is doing, if she still visits SR, and here i am. it's monik. if you remember me, please say hi
for those of you that i have never met or may not remember me, i'll give you a little background/update:
D and i were together for a year before i realized he was addicted to heroin. i was in denial, continuously making excuses for his pot smoking, pill popping, and belligerent drunkenness. i saw it as normal 20something partying... i did it too, not the pot smoking but the drinking and occasional xanax popping. there was something different about the way he did it though, it was never enough for him. he didn't take 1, he took 5, 10, 20 even. so from there came the typical downward spiral of addiction. it happened quickly after his best friend died. after a few failed attempts at rehab and me finally confirming that he was, in fact, shooting heroin in my home, i left him. i had enough turmoil, suffering, obsessing, crying... i just had enough. i left without turning back because i knew that i had to do what was best for ME... i couldn't help him. so for almost a year i heard the horror stories from mutual friends: he was dealing heroin to support his own habit, he was homeless, he was in jail... then the stories stopped. for a few months i thought about him and what he was doing, if he was ok, alive, sad or scared. then i heard from a close friend of mine who told me he was in rehab, on his own, and that he was doing great. i missed him. loved him. i wanted to see him, so i called his mom. she told me not to call him, to give it some time, it was too soon, he was still in inpatient. about a week later i heard from him. he had a weekend pass and wanted to get together for coffee, if i was willing. from there we slowly rebuilt our relationship. i started attending his outpatient family groups, couples counseling, his NA meetings, i stopped going to bars w/ my friends, met his friends in recovery and became friends with them myself. i naturally began trusting him again because for the first time in our relationship, he left it all open. i didn't ask, he just did it. he gave me absolutely no reason NOT to trust him. soon he had one year clean, we moved in together, he proposed to me, his two years clean came, we got married. D now works in a treatment center helping other addicts, he speaks at high schools and shares his story with young teens. they look up to him. they even ask for his autograph haha. he also decided to go back to school and get a degree in addiction counseling. i am back in school too... getting my masters in marital and family therapy and dedicating my life to helping other couples who are still suffering, or who are trying to get past it.
today i can honestly say we have an awesome life together. the life we were supposed to have. i wont deny that there are days (although very few and far between) that i think about what i would do if he ever went back to his old life. this usually happens when a friend of our in recovery relapses, or worse, dies of an overdose. it's scary. it is a reminder that this is no joke... it wakes us both up and reminds us where we came from. i remind myself though that there is no sense in worrying about something that hasn't and might never happen. i enjoy the moment... today, and i hope and encourage you to try to do the same. i know it's hard, but it makes the big picture so much easier. my heart goes out to all of you.
take care, monik
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Thank you for coming back and sharing your story. My daughter is a heroin addict and has a month clean and is living in a halfway house. Your story gives me hope that she too can continue on the road to recovery and have a good life. She also made the decision to go to rehab and left her addict boyfriend to do so. Hugs and prayers for a continuing healthy and happy life for both of you. Marle
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: FL
Posts: 4
good to see you both. i recognized your names as soon as i saw them.
marle: please don't give up hope on your daughter. the miracle can happen at any time. if she brought herself there that means she at least wants to get away from it, and that is a great start.
-M
marle: please don't give up hope on your daughter. the miracle can happen at any time. if she brought herself there that means she at least wants to get away from it, and that is a great start.
-M
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