Another tragic death
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Another tragic death
I found out yesterday that an old friend died on Friday night. She was driving to visit another mutual friend, called to say she had taken a wrong turn and would be a little late.
She never arrived.
Apparently she made a u-turn or two on a busy and complicated thoroughfare, and ended up going the WRONG way on the interstate. She hit a motorcyclist head on, and they were both killed.
My friend was intoxicated. She often liked to have "a few drinks", a little weed, or both. In her mid 50's, she still said it was how she liked to relax. I hadn't seen her or spoken with her in at least 5 years, but I remember her sense of humor, her interesting views of the world, and the fact that she had gone back to college in the past few years to get a degree in physical therapy.
I also remember many times when I left a party or some other place because I wasn't comfortable with her drinking or smoking. I learned about boundaries with some of those old friends... boundaries and choices. I didn't have to make a scene, but I could choose to leave if I wasn't comfortable. They could laugh and call me a prude, but I could graciously say "I think I'll head out now. I love you!" and I could go.
I am sad that she's gone, but mostly I am ANGRY. I am mad that she had such poor judgment and disregard for others that she made the choice to drive intoxicated and she killed an innocent person.
Today I am tasked with contacting many of our former co workers in other states to let them know. Please say a prayer for me that I can be gentle when delivering this sad news.
And add a prayer for J and her family, and for the family of the man she killed as well.
She never arrived.
Apparently she made a u-turn or two on a busy and complicated thoroughfare, and ended up going the WRONG way on the interstate. She hit a motorcyclist head on, and they were both killed.
My friend was intoxicated. She often liked to have "a few drinks", a little weed, or both. In her mid 50's, she still said it was how she liked to relax. I hadn't seen her or spoken with her in at least 5 years, but I remember her sense of humor, her interesting views of the world, and the fact that she had gone back to college in the past few years to get a degree in physical therapy.
I also remember many times when I left a party or some other place because I wasn't comfortable with her drinking or smoking. I learned about boundaries with some of those old friends... boundaries and choices. I didn't have to make a scene, but I could choose to leave if I wasn't comfortable. They could laugh and call me a prude, but I could graciously say "I think I'll head out now. I love you!" and I could go.
I am sad that she's gone, but mostly I am ANGRY. I am mad that she had such poor judgment and disregard for others that she made the choice to drive intoxicated and she killed an innocent person.
Today I am tasked with contacting many of our former co workers in other states to let them know. Please say a prayer for me that I can be gentle when delivering this sad news.
And add a prayer for J and her family, and for the family of the man she killed as well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 932
I am so sorry that your friend didn't follow the good example you set. What a waste and, like you said, it's equally devastating when an innocent person is involved.
I'll pray for your diplomacy today and I'll pray for your friend's soul. At least the battle (for her) is over with.
I'll pray for your diplomacy today and I'll pray for your friend's soul. At least the battle (for her) is over with.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
I'm so sorry your friend died that way. It's so senseless to drink and drive. My hubby has a Harely and thats one thing I'm always afraid of...someone else. We tend to stick to country riding when we can. I'm saying prayers for you and your friend and the family that will question their loved ones death for a long time. Smiles, Bonnie
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
((Cats))
I am sorry, this is very sad, and what a waste of two lives..
prayers that you are able to go forward today with some strength and grace, Cats,
and prayers for J and her family and the family of the motorcyclist and all who loved them...
I am sorry, this is very sad, and what a waste of two lives..
prayers that you are able to go forward today with some strength and grace, Cats,
and prayers for J and her family and the family of the motorcyclist and all who loved them...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Sending prayers for all involved. We just never know when something similar may happen to us as happened to the innocent person involved. That is why we can't live our lives in darkness. Hugs, Marle
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Oh Cats - I hate so much to hear of this horribly tragedy.
Sorry for the man and his family - prayers of comfort and peace for his family.
For J's family - my their HP heal their pain, and may in their hearts they know the 3 c's so they carry no shame, no blame and no guilt over her death and the death of this other man.
And for you Cats - may your HP pour out his courage, strength and wisdom as you deal with these difficult task ahead of you - may you feel the comfort of each of your loving SR friends' thoughts and prayers reaching out to you - letting you know, we are with you in spirit.
((HUGS))
Rita
Sorry for the man and his family - prayers of comfort and peace for his family.
For J's family - my their HP heal their pain, and may in their hearts they know the 3 c's so they carry no shame, no blame and no guilt over her death and the death of this other man.
And for you Cats - may your HP pour out his courage, strength and wisdom as you deal with these difficult task ahead of you - may you feel the comfort of each of your loving SR friends' thoughts and prayers reaching out to you - letting you know, we are with you in spirit.
((HUGS))
Rita
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I am so sad to hear this.
There has been alot of death here lately.
It makes me really think about my own mortality.
As an addict. I never think it can happen to me.
i am starting to reconsider that.
I am so sorry for this loss.
My prayers and thoughts to all effected.
There has been alot of death here lately.
It makes me really think about my own mortality.
As an addict. I never think it can happen to me.
i am starting to reconsider that.
I am so sorry for this loss.
My prayers and thoughts to all effected.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
What sad news...so sad for both families.
I've often thought of this, and prayed that my oldest drug dependent son would not harm anyone while under the influence. Amazing how one decision can wreck so many lives.
Prayers that the families find peace, and understanding.
I've often thought of this, and prayed that my oldest drug dependent son would not harm anyone while under the influence. Amazing how one decision can wreck so many lives.
Prayers that the families find peace, and understanding.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Absolutely --- prayers for you and your burden/task; for her family; and for the family of the motorcyclist.....
You said, "...I am sad that she's gone, but mostly I am ANGRY. I am mad that she had such poor judgment and disregard for others that she made the choice to drive intoxicated and she killed an innocent person..."
...and others on this board have said similar things, and I wish I had a better target for our anger.....remember, folks who drive drunk.......are just that.....DRUNK! Their thinking has been impaired; their judgment has been impaired, if they have any at all; yes, they disregard others, but do they really...?...consciously....?; and finally, usually when a drunk gets into their vehicle to drive, it's not really a decision/choice to drive intoxicated----they're drunk; their thinking is so impaired that they think they're fine.....hah
Now, before someone jumps all over me, I am NOT condoning drunk drivers, nor am I giving excuses for them.....I'm mad too.....I just wish there was a clearer target........grrrrrrr Perhaps this dang disease, or if you don't follow the disease theory, perhaps that dang 'first' drink and the body that doesn't process alcohol like normal, non-drinkers' bodies do, and them dang synapses that go on a toot and fire and misfire to the point that a person truly can't say 'no' to that next drink......
I certainly don't have the answer. I certainly don't want to relieve the person of their responsibility for their actions (we are all responsible for our actions (which have consequences).....but I try to temper it with some understanding, even if i don't totally understand all the nuances..... )o:
NoelleR
You said, "...I am sad that she's gone, but mostly I am ANGRY. I am mad that she had such poor judgment and disregard for others that she made the choice to drive intoxicated and she killed an innocent person..."
...and others on this board have said similar things, and I wish I had a better target for our anger.....remember, folks who drive drunk.......are just that.....DRUNK! Their thinking has been impaired; their judgment has been impaired, if they have any at all; yes, they disregard others, but do they really...?...consciously....?; and finally, usually when a drunk gets into their vehicle to drive, it's not really a decision/choice to drive intoxicated----they're drunk; their thinking is so impaired that they think they're fine.....hah
Now, before someone jumps all over me, I am NOT condoning drunk drivers, nor am I giving excuses for them.....I'm mad too.....I just wish there was a clearer target........grrrrrrr Perhaps this dang disease, or if you don't follow the disease theory, perhaps that dang 'first' drink and the body that doesn't process alcohol like normal, non-drinkers' bodies do, and them dang synapses that go on a toot and fire and misfire to the point that a person truly can't say 'no' to that next drink......
I certainly don't have the answer. I certainly don't want to relieve the person of their responsibility for their actions (we are all responsible for our actions (which have consequences).....but I try to temper it with some understanding, even if i don't totally understand all the nuances..... )o:
NoelleR
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Cat)))
Hugs and prayers to all involved.
I just read a story of a woman who was in jail for DUI and vehicular manslaughter...her 4-year-old son was killed in the wreck. She was allowed out of jail for the funeral. When she didn't return, they found her in a a bar, getting drunk.
I really hate this disease.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Hugs and prayers to all involved.
I just read a story of a woman who was in jail for DUI and vehicular manslaughter...her 4-year-old son was killed in the wreck. She was allowed out of jail for the funeral. When she didn't return, they found her in a a bar, getting drunk.
I really hate this disease.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
rozied
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Oh Cats thats just awful though I am more angry with people like that anymore than sad at their passing. At age 61 I find myself with little patience for people who play the fool whether alcohol & drugs are involved or not. You don't have to be addicted to be a jerk. I am almost at the point of hating my younger son for taking advantage of me. People who are selfish & self-centered have no place in my life aymore.
I am also still very angry at my own step-son for getting himself killed in a car accident. People like that give no thought to the people that love them!
Diane
I hope & pray things go easy for you when you make your phone calls.
I am also still very angry at my own step-son for getting himself killed in a car accident. People like that give no thought to the people that love them!
Diane
I hope & pray things go easy for you when you make your phone calls.
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