still learning

Today my RAF (Recovering Alcoholic Friend) and I discussed our "relationship" in further detail. He and I are in business together and have seen each other regularly for 6 months - hours and hours together - building a new business together, and figuring out our friendship, what it means, etc.

Today, we discussed the fact that he cares about another woman who he says he hopes to have a long-term romantic relationship with. She is coming out of an abusive marriage and is unavailable to date at this time. I asked my friend if her husband is an alcoholic, too. (Just curious).

Then, I asked if this meant he and I would not be going out to any evening events, plays, dinner, etc. He says, "Oh, no! I want to continue going out with you, too. I want her to understand that we are "expanding" our relationship." Whew! "And, he went on to say, if she couldn't accept our relationship it, then he would decide what to do."

I thought to myself, "Well, that's all and good, if I want to continue being friends - going out with him (no dating, no sex). And, if it's okay with her, so be it." Then, I realized I was free to do what I want with my life, period! Tonight on Match.com a fellow wrote me! I told him I was interested and that I would like to meet him, too. So, this will be a challenge for my friend (I suppose) to realize that I will go out with someone else, too. And, just maybe my friend will begin to understand the "extent" of what my interpretation of what OUR friendship will be for me.

Amazing! Truly amazing! Thank you for being here. I needed to share.

Ann

still learning

I think it is great that you are keeping your options open. Your friend doesn't appear to want any kind of committed relationship or friendship, and you don't sound to me like the kind of person who is lacking friends.

Have fun and enjoy your life without being dependent on anyone elses choices. It's YOUR life afterall.

JT

SL,

I hope you are being careful w/ internet dating.

Hugs,
JT

still learning

Thanks for the encouragement and thoughtful comments. I will be careful. I will make sure I am not doing anything that might put me in jeopardy. I haven't heard back yet from the internet guy - the next step. But, at least, I was able to "stand my ground" on this one with my friend.