NEVEREnds

My AH left yesterday and already called to see if he could come over tonight to "talk" !!!! Something we have NOT done in weeks due to his denial and anger ... I told him NO that I didn't think we had anything to talk about ... Is this the right thing to do ..??? Should I listen if he has something to say??? I'm not quite sure what 1 day would make a difference ...

I had given him 2 weeks to leave and he left yesterday and went by a "friend" ... I think his "talking" is just to come over to a comfortable place and feel at home ... I hope I'm handing this right ... I don't want anyone to hurt any more than they already are ...

Thanks for listening.......... AGAIN !!!!! LOL

Lots of love and hugs !!!!!!!!!

peaceteach

It's all about YOU now, sweetie. YOU get to make any choice you want. Do you want him to come over? Do you feel ready to talk with him? What would be said that would change anything? Would it be better for you to keep the distance for now until you get yourself sorted out and a little stronger in the separation?

That's the neat thing about making the break from someone else's problems. You get to make the right decisions to keep YOU in a healthy, safe physical AND mental environment. He gets to make his own decisions, but your number one priority is to focus on what would be best for you now. I find it quite empowering, energizing, and peaceful

loner1968

From my experience I learned that this was my A's way of manipulating me and trying to get me to feel sorry for him. It worked quite well for a very long time.

loner1968

I also noticed that it was only when HE wanted to "talk" which meant when he wanted to tell me everything that I did to ruin our relationship and how I had to change etc...
Whe I needed to talk he treated me like I had the plague.

hello-kitty

Don't second guess yourself. You are doing the right thing.

loner1968

He's counting on you to second guess yourself. It takes some people a very long time to get to the point your at. Stick to your guns. he already has his story planned out. its going to sound really good too I bet!

NEVEREnds

Loner,
I felt that he was manipulating me because when I said "NO" he was all pissy and said "FINE" ... i'll just give you the key ... I've tried to talk sooooooooooo much to him but it always turned into a fight ... NOW he wants to talk ... It is the same thing, it was always ok when HE wanted to talk ... I started NOT talking period because every time I said anything, it turned into a fight ... As long as I agreed with him, all was good ... I haven't heard from him since I told him no today, and I am worried and thinking of him and upset, but I feel like I'm doing the right thing, for him and for ME ... I'm just praying that I can keep being strong ... I tend to weaken and I don't want to do that this time.. I've come further than I've ever come, mentally and I don't want to go back. This place is what has gotten me to where I am .. And I can't express my gratitude and love to all of you for this!!!!!! God brought me here and I am soooo glad he did ...

Love and hugs,

BayAreaPhoenix

You can do it Never! You need to do what you need to do, for YOU! In the long run, altho it's hard to see right now, it's for him too!

(((hugs)))

Sending you some extra strength!