JFT May 18 - Friends and Amends
Evolving Addict
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
JFT May 18 - Friends and Amends
May 18
In every relationship, we don’t always handle things the way we would have hoped. But friendships don’t have to end when we make mistakes; instead, we can make amends. If we are sincerely willing to accept the responsibilities involved in friendship and make the amends we owe, those friendships can become stronger and richer than ever.
Making amends is simple. We approach the person we have harmed and say, “I was wrong.” Sometimes we avoid getting to the point, evading an admission of our own part in the affair. But that frustrates the intent of the Ninth Step. To make effective amends, we have to keep it simple: we admit our part, and leave it at that.
There will be times when our friends won’t accept our amends. Perhaps they need time to process what has happened. If that is the case, we must give them that time. After all, we were the ones in the wrong, not them. We have done our part; the rest is out of our hands.
Just for today: I want to be a responsible friend. I will strive to keep it simple when making amends.
Copyright © 1991-2008 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Friends and amends—keeping it simple
“We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
Step Nine
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In every relationship, we don’t always handle things the way we would have hoped. But friendships don’t have to end when we make mistakes; instead, we can make amends. If we are sincerely willing to accept the responsibilities involved in friendship and make the amends we owe, those friendships can become stronger and richer than ever.
Making amends is simple. We approach the person we have harmed and say, “I was wrong.” Sometimes we avoid getting to the point, evading an admission of our own part in the affair. But that frustrates the intent of the Ninth Step. To make effective amends, we have to keep it simple: we admit our part, and leave it at that.
There will be times when our friends won’t accept our amends. Perhaps they need time to process what has happened. If that is the case, we must give them that time. After all, we were the ones in the wrong, not them. We have done our part; the rest is out of our hands.
––––=––––
Just for today: I want to be a responsible friend. I will strive to keep it simple when making amends.
Copyright © 1991-2008 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Cape Town - South Africa
Posts: 47
I think that this is a pertinent and valuable JFT.
I have been making amends to friends recently for new behaviour but it shows me & them that I am paying attention to my behaviour and am willing to improve on what isnt working.
I think that is important, not aiming for perfection but trying harder not to be the messy version of myself that I had grown into. It isnt instantanious but by admitting fault they can see that I am trying to make amends.
Thank you for letting me share.
I have been making amends to friends recently for new behaviour but it shows me & them that I am paying attention to my behaviour and am willing to improve on what isnt working.
I think that is important, not aiming for perfection but trying harder not to be the messy version of myself that I had grown into. It isnt instantanious but by admitting fault they can see that I am trying to make amends.
Thank you for letting me share.
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