A second chance to make a first impression.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
A second chance to make a first impression.
I didn't want to quit drinking. I had to!
After several years of promising to do something about my drinking for the sake of my kids the decision was made for me. They took them away. The problem was solved for me. God stepped in and did something I couldn't do for myself. It was the ugliest hell I could imagine. It wasn't fair, but I deserved it. Too bad the kids didn't.
It was time for me to step up and take a good look at my life. I wanted to find our what and who I was and what I was made of. I was a broken person and I needed to be fixed. I fixed my life and got my kids back.
Fast forward a few years and I am entering my 4th year coaching youth baseball. I'll guarantee you there's nothing more rewarding than being requested by the parents of these boys to be their Coach again. I teach them to throw, catch and hit. God willing I leave them with a lasting impression and a lot of good memories.
Looking at the roster, I find that this year I am Coaching the son of the Judge that removed my kids. I always found him to be a fair and honest man. He was just doing what he had to do and I never held any resentment.
Now I have a chance to show the community that things can and do work out when you turn your will and your life to the care of God.
God wanted me to Coach Baseball as an amend to the community that I had wronged with my actions due to drinking. In return I can show thanks for the second chance I have gotten with a new life by doing the best I can and being the best I can be.
Coincidence, or God? You decide. I've made my decision and if there's hope for a selfish drunken ******* like me there's hope for all of us.
Don't ever quit quitting.
After several years of promising to do something about my drinking for the sake of my kids the decision was made for me. They took them away. The problem was solved for me. God stepped in and did something I couldn't do for myself. It was the ugliest hell I could imagine. It wasn't fair, but I deserved it. Too bad the kids didn't.
It was time for me to step up and take a good look at my life. I wanted to find our what and who I was and what I was made of. I was a broken person and I needed to be fixed. I fixed my life and got my kids back.
Fast forward a few years and I am entering my 4th year coaching youth baseball. I'll guarantee you there's nothing more rewarding than being requested by the parents of these boys to be their Coach again. I teach them to throw, catch and hit. God willing I leave them with a lasting impression and a lot of good memories.
Looking at the roster, I find that this year I am Coaching the son of the Judge that removed my kids. I always found him to be a fair and honest man. He was just doing what he had to do and I never held any resentment.
Now I have a chance to show the community that things can and do work out when you turn your will and your life to the care of God.
God wanted me to Coach Baseball as an amend to the community that I had wronged with my actions due to drinking. In return I can show thanks for the second chance I have gotten with a new life by doing the best I can and being the best I can be.
Coincidence, or God? You decide. I've made my decision and if there's hope for a selfish drunken ******* like me there's hope for all of us.
Don't ever quit quitting.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Thank you for sharing that.
Even more, you never know who is going to read this and your message of hope will be what inspires them to seek help.
You could very well have saved a life by sharing this.
God Bless,
Judy
Even more, you never know who is going to read this and your message of hope will be what inspires them to seek help.
You could very well have saved a life by sharing this.
God Bless,
Judy
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I love it, things have come full circle for you! Your posts are sometimes brutally honest, Pink, but I have learned alot from you. I'm glad to know more about your story. Thank you for helping me get sober, starting 4 months ago. Love, Joanie
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Thanks Pinkcuda. I love stories like yours.
As part of my aftercare for the outpatient program I was in for 12 weeks, I take cookies to the detox unit once a month and talk to them about our stories. Usually, there are 3-4 of us "alumni" doing this. This last time, one of the detox patients was so bad off, I almost couldn't look at her. At one point, she said she'd been sober for 16 years. But now, her situation was dire, to the extreme. She was detoxing from a 1 gallon of vodka a day habit. Her liver was shot. She had hep C. She had very limited options and she was filled with fear and dread. It was very difficult. Compassion came easy but hope was hard to offer. We did our best. I don't know if she heard anything we said.
Your story is helpful. I'm not trying to say that your story is the same as the woman in the detox unit. I don't know enough. But having your children taken away is such a dire place to be in, I would imagine. And you have made what sounds like a complete turn around in your life. Amazing and wonderful. And I'm grateful you shared. I imagine that each of us experiences miracles in our lives as we recover. It is wonderful to read of yours. And it will help me as I move through my own life. It helps give me the power to imagine the renewal that is possible. And to not lose hope for myself or for others I encounter at AA or at the detox unit.
Thank you,
MLE
As part of my aftercare for the outpatient program I was in for 12 weeks, I take cookies to the detox unit once a month and talk to them about our stories. Usually, there are 3-4 of us "alumni" doing this. This last time, one of the detox patients was so bad off, I almost couldn't look at her. At one point, she said she'd been sober for 16 years. But now, her situation was dire, to the extreme. She was detoxing from a 1 gallon of vodka a day habit. Her liver was shot. She had hep C. She had very limited options and she was filled with fear and dread. It was very difficult. Compassion came easy but hope was hard to offer. We did our best. I don't know if she heard anything we said.
Your story is helpful. I'm not trying to say that your story is the same as the woman in the detox unit. I don't know enough. But having your children taken away is such a dire place to be in, I would imagine. And you have made what sounds like a complete turn around in your life. Amazing and wonderful. And I'm grateful you shared. I imagine that each of us experiences miracles in our lives as we recover. It is wonderful to read of yours. And it will help me as I move through my own life. It helps give me the power to imagine the renewal that is possible. And to not lose hope for myself or for others I encounter at AA or at the detox unit.
Thank you,
MLE
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
Thanks everyone. I chose to post this as an example of what is out there waiting for us. The last thing I want to do is waste a minute of my life concerning myself with the things I can't do. I would rather focus on what I can do instead. The list of things I can't do is very short. I can't drink! That's the end of the list. The things I can do is unlimited and is worthy of more consideration. So do I dwell on the one thing I can't do or look at the thousands of things I can?
There is a phrase in the Book that says, "We stood at the turning point"! This is where we make the decision to go down one path or the other. One path is the one we are familiar with and the other path is new and frightening. The question is, How long are we going to stand at this "Turning Point"?
We could stand there, we could walk in circles or we could go back to where we came from. We could also take the new path that we aren't familiar with. Frightening is an understatement. This is where we ask for Gods care and protection. This is where we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him. If we are still afraid from this point on we need to work on this step. From this point on we no longer have to be afraid as we go down this path. This will include the dreaded "Step 4 and 9". What's to be afraid of? We're in good hands.
There were a lot of times in my new life that weren't easy. There were a lot of times that God's Will wasn't exactly what I had in mind. I've never regretted my decision to choose this path.
Back to Baseball! You can't argue balls and strikes with the Umpire. When the Umpire says "You're Out, it means You're Out. There isn't anything you can do about it. We can argue, fight and kick dirt at him. But you're still out. The more you argue, the sooner you're ejected from the game.
In this case, the Umpire called us an Alcoholic. The game is called "Life". Let's not get ejected.
There is a phrase in the Book that says, "We stood at the turning point"! This is where we make the decision to go down one path or the other. One path is the one we are familiar with and the other path is new and frightening. The question is, How long are we going to stand at this "Turning Point"?
We could stand there, we could walk in circles or we could go back to where we came from. We could also take the new path that we aren't familiar with. Frightening is an understatement. This is where we ask for Gods care and protection. This is where we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him. If we are still afraid from this point on we need to work on this step. From this point on we no longer have to be afraid as we go down this path. This will include the dreaded "Step 4 and 9". What's to be afraid of? We're in good hands.
There were a lot of times in my new life that weren't easy. There were a lot of times that God's Will wasn't exactly what I had in mind. I've never regretted my decision to choose this path.
Back to Baseball! You can't argue balls and strikes with the Umpire. When the Umpire says "You're Out, it means You're Out. There isn't anything you can do about it. We can argue, fight and kick dirt at him. But you're still out. The more you argue, the sooner you're ejected from the game.
In this case, the Umpire called us an Alcoholic. The game is called "Life". Let's not get ejected.
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