Greetings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: on the southern tip
Posts: 49
Greetings
After reading here on and off since going into recovery two years ago, I decided to stop lurking and introduce myself. I read here, want to debate an issue, and then don't because its rude in my opinion to jump into a thread, without introduction!
So hi, my name is paul and I am an addict.:day4
I really enjoy the discussion in this forum, learn a lot, and look forward to participating.
So hi, my name is paul and I am an addict.:day4
I really enjoy the discussion in this forum, learn a lot, and look forward to participating.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: on the southern tip
Posts: 49
Hi, Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. My just over 2 years in recovery does not relate to 2 years clean time I am afraid. I have had an ongoing struggle with understanding that alcohol is adrug is a drug is a drug. I do not experience the kind of unmanagability from alcohol as with drugs - yet. So in my wisdom decided to work the program my way..........
Anyway, working through that step 1 again and again and again. I feel like I got it. Feel being the operative word. I can get recovery in my head, but it really works for me when I feel it.
So I have been clean since 18 Dec 2008.
Anyway, working through that step 1 again and again and again. I feel like I got it. Feel being the operative word. I can get recovery in my head, but it really works for me when I feel it.
So I have been clean since 18 Dec 2008.
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Is Dec. 18 2008 your target date? Or do you mean 2007? :-D
You have to work your program what works for you, but one of the readings says "what about alcohol?" So we see that alcohol is drug for many of us......For me it leads to other drugs cuz when I drink I am not thinking clearly (alcohol buzz) I then want to use. plus for me, my program has to be clean from all mind altering drugs. (coffee and sugar are fine though)
Everyone must find the path that works for them.
Sheila
You have to work your program what works for you, but one of the readings says "what about alcohol?" So we see that alcohol is drug for many of us......For me it leads to other drugs cuz when I drink I am not thinking clearly (alcohol buzz) I then want to use. plus for me, my program has to be clean from all mind altering drugs. (coffee and sugar are fine though)
Everyone must find the path that works for them.
Sheila
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: seattle
Posts: 468
hey paul,
welcome.
Im an addict.
My experience with alcohol came complete with loss of control, attempts at control, trap doors, insanity and surrender.
Plenty of nights that i set out to get a little buzz and stay away from the drugs, and ended up on the insane pursuit of more more more when the booze ran out.
one is too many for me. It wakes up the obsession and compulsion. no more research is needed.
aaron
welcome.
Im an addict.
My experience with alcohol came complete with loss of control, attempts at control, trap doors, insanity and surrender.
Plenty of nights that i set out to get a little buzz and stay away from the drugs, and ended up on the insane pursuit of more more more when the booze ran out.
one is too many for me. It wakes up the obsession and compulsion. no more research is needed.
aaron
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: on the southern tip
Posts: 49
About the date. Just because I am clean, it does not mean I am clever! Yeah, clean since DEC 07.
Aaron, my problem with alcohol is for now I can have just one drink. No huge binges, no downward spirals. Hence the challenge of identifying unmanagability. BUT, an alkie I know introduced me to the word YET. I drugged for 17 years, and a good 10 were the honeymoon phase.
When I honestly explore the mess ups I made, mainly with drugs, booze was always a less conspicuous participant.
So yeah, I want to live a life of no mind altering substances. Life on lifes terms. No yets required.
The odd glass of red wine with dinner, or the cold beer on a hot day are JUST NOT WORTH IT.
Whenever I have taken on the programme and done it my way - I always end up the loser!
Oh the wisdom that came before......
Aaron, my problem with alcohol is for now I can have just one drink. No huge binges, no downward spirals. Hence the challenge of identifying unmanagability. BUT, an alkie I know introduced me to the word YET. I drugged for 17 years, and a good 10 were the honeymoon phase.
When I honestly explore the mess ups I made, mainly with drugs, booze was always a less conspicuous participant.
So yeah, I want to live a life of no mind altering substances. Life on lifes terms. No yets required.
The odd glass of red wine with dinner, or the cold beer on a hot day are JUST NOT WORTH IT.
Whenever I have taken on the programme and done it my way - I always end up the loser!
Oh the wisdom that came before......
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,274
Alcohol was not my main drug either. I usually used alcohol in combination with other drugs, or when I couldn't get my drug of choice. I also thought I might not have a problem with alcohol at first, but I got honest with myself and realized that if I did not have my drug of choice, I would get drunk. So I might be able to stay away from my drug of choice by becoming just a plain old alcoholic. That's not something I want to do today.
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