Mother's Day
mle-sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Mother's Day
I was looking at a photo album from when my kids were smaller. Just thinking I was enjoying it. And then, as I kept looking, I realized with this slow dawning of horror, that almost all of the pictures which I am in, I was either on my way to getting drunk (had had a few glasses of wine), drunk, or obsessively thinking about getting the next drink. There I would be, posing holding a small child, smiling into the sun. And I was drunk. I remember. Christmas, Birthdays, family dinners, enjoying the back yard on a weekend -- drunk, drunk, drunk, thinking about getting drunk, drunk.
I have always thought I was a good mom. And here comes mother's day with 4 sweetly worded, beautifully colored cards on there way. And flowers. And I'm finally "getting it" about the damage I've done. I honestly didn't realize until this week. I thought it didn't affect them because I'd been so good at hiding it. Of course it affected them! What was I thinking?
I'm making a pledge today. To put my children at the top of the list of things I need to think about before I drink again. I haven't done that before. Maybe it's been obvious to others who have children that that's what you need to do. But for some reason, I've been dense about it. I can't necessarily say how it affects them but when I look at those photos and notice how what I recall was all about the alcohol that day and nothing about my children, I know it's important. I know I need to stay sober. And it would hurt them if I don't.
Thank you. I just needed to share that realization.
I have always thought I was a good mom. And here comes mother's day with 4 sweetly worded, beautifully colored cards on there way. And flowers. And I'm finally "getting it" about the damage I've done. I honestly didn't realize until this week. I thought it didn't affect them because I'd been so good at hiding it. Of course it affected them! What was I thinking?
I'm making a pledge today. To put my children at the top of the list of things I need to think about before I drink again. I haven't done that before. Maybe it's been obvious to others who have children that that's what you need to do. But for some reason, I've been dense about it. I can't necessarily say how it affects them but when I look at those photos and notice how what I recall was all about the alcohol that day and nothing about my children, I know it's important. I know I need to stay sober. And it would hurt them if I don't.
Thank you. I just needed to share that realization.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
My alcoholism left me with very few photos of my children when they were younger. I was too selfish, selfcentered, and drunk to bother with taking photos. I even forgot it was one of my childrens birthday until we were driving through the drive through of Burger King for lunch so I quickly ordered one of the toys they had on special and claimed it was her birthday present. What a mother 
It has taken several years to earn back my childrens trust and faith. Only through sobriety have I been able to realize that being a mother is a special and important responsibility. I am grateful that I have been given a second chance. My oldest daughter had lost so much faith in me that she did not speak to me for a year during my early sobriety. Today she lives in the downstairs of my home and we actually have a good relationship where she knows she can count on me during the good and bad times like a child should.
To all those mothers out there I hope you have a wonderful day.
It has taken several years to earn back my childrens trust and faith. Only through sobriety have I been able to realize that being a mother is a special and important responsibility. I am grateful that I have been given a second chance. My oldest daughter had lost so much faith in me that she did not speak to me for a year during my early sobriety. Today she lives in the downstairs of my home and we actually have a good relationship where she knows she can count on me during the good and bad times like a child should.
To all those mothers out there I hope you have a wonderful day.
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
I was always to Drunk to even be a Mom never the less
take pictures of any of his event this Day hit's hard on me
I think I haven't forgave my self truly How could you
forgive your self How I've try coming to pass with that and
can't find my self to get to that place I said it but don't feel it
take pictures of any of his event this Day hit's hard on me
I think I haven't forgave my self truly How could you
forgive your self How I've try coming to pass with that and
can't find my self to get to that place I said it but don't feel it
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Happy Mothers Day!
I grew up with an alcoholic mother. She has now been sober for 18 years. I just wanted to let you know that forgiveness & trust does happen possibly sooner than you think. The love never goes away. Also, it's not my mothers drinking that stands out in my mind - it's all the good stuff that she did for me while I was growing up.
Today, I am so proud of my mom, she is my hero.
Keep moving forward!
All my best, Don
I grew up with an alcoholic mother. She has now been sober for 18 years. I just wanted to let you know that forgiveness & trust does happen possibly sooner than you think. The love never goes away. Also, it's not my mothers drinking that stands out in my mind - it's all the good stuff that she did for me while I was growing up.
Today, I am so proud of my mom, she is my hero.
Keep moving forward!
All my best, Don
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
