Angelus

Took a mental health day from work because last week was very stressful and I honestly couldn't face it.

I'm very depressed and having nightmares related to the As that I'm phasing out of my life...my brother was rude to me on the phone...that's normal for him but it sent me into a tailspin.

Feeling isolated, disillusioned, disappointed and I'm losing faith in other people.

LucyA

no need to feel isolated around here Angelus, we're all here for you.
Have you seen a doctor? It's a stressful time, maybe a doctor could help.

lexusgirl

(((Angelus)))

Lately IRL, I have been feeling this way too. Very angry, sad, mad etc etc. I think it's part of the grieving process. But, I have a lot of work to do with my therapist to try to change around my thinking about people, as all that I grew up with and have had relationships with (well almost all) have been abusers, addicts, alcoholics, rageaholics etc.

I guess you could say that I'm learning to live in a more healthy way and it's really scary, because it's not what I'm used to.

Counseling really helps me.

Hang in there.

cagefree

Been there Angelus - I had to keep reminding myself that feelings aren't facts and they are temporary.

Someone (I think it was Astro) once described feelings to me like they are a wave. Let them fully wash over you and when the tide recedes, dry yourself off and continue on. I found I would get "stuck" on certain feelings until I worked through them, looking for reasons behind them with my counselor.

Taz once gave me some advice when I was stuck in my anger/victim phase - do, or redo step 4. It really p1ssed me off too LOL! But I find (especially early in my codie recovery) that things that others would tell me that offended me the most were things I needed to pay the most attention to.

Step 4 REALLY helped and put the power back in my hands - which I needed to do in order to gain trust in others and the world again.

cagefree

Angelus - how are you doing today?

Angelus

Thank you sooo much for asking!

I'm better. I think I just feel very vulnerable to setbacks, I actually live in fear of something going wrong, even small things. I tole my yoga teacher I was on a "see-saw"

I'm having trouble making peace with the recent past and sticking to my decisions, my resolve to protect myself. I fear getting pulled back into the madness.

cagefree

I found the hardest part about boundaries was not making them, but keeping them. You do sound like you are doing better

Barbara52

Be patient and understanding of yourself. You are going thru some big changes. That's never simple or easy. (hugs)

Bernadette

Heya Angelus-

I actually live in fear of something going wrong, even small things.

This is such a classic feeling for people who have nbeen riding the alkie roller coaster and living la vida codie!!

It's anxiety, plain and simple.

You've changed some things in your life and its like the nervous system needs a little time to catch up. So be gentle with yourself but stay the course.

The only thing that could be the "something going wrong" that you fear is you backtracking on these wise changes you've made.

What you're doing is hard, and painful, but you know it is the right thing to do!
Remind yourself that "all is well" and just move slow and do something nice for yourself this weekend - fake it till you make it!!

The serenity prayer is also very helpful when that anxious feeling creeps up.

Peace,
B.

Angelus

Thanks everyone. Bernadette, that's exactly where I am you're absolutely right. Thank you so much you've helped me understand what I'm going through, I must remember to be gentle and patient as I'm approaching life a whole new way now

:ghug3