kj3880

Here's my situation tonite:
This is probably a stupid and boring question, feel free to skip reading my whiny problems:
One of my consequences of my disease/use is awful financial troubles, that, like most newcomers, I have to work my way through and out of. Well, tonight, my boss offered me some optional last-minute overtime. I am on evening shift, so the overtime would be from 11 p.m. until 3 a.m. I would get about $120 for that amount of time, which is significant to me right now. But I would have to miss the midnight meeting that I had planned on attending. I guess I can only decide for myself. On one hand, I would have more some money to pump into catching up those bills I'm behind on, and I'd look good for staying when asked at work. On the other hand, I hate to miss a meeting. My question is, am I being really selfish to my family if I leave work, blow off the overtime, so I can make the meeting? Am I caught in the self-obsessive triangle? There are after all, more meetings tomorrow. I don't know. I have 5 hours to decide what is best. Boy, I used to make decisions a lot more quickly it seems.
kj

ANGELINA243

Where is your mind at? Are you thinking about using or struggling with unclear thinking. If so, then it would probably be a good idea to go to the meeting. If you are feeling ok but would just like to go to a meeting--then it is entirely up to you. Although recovery is a priority, this could be a good way to catch up on paying those overdue bills. Question is..how do you think will you feel after leaving work--say about 3 am? If you think you may feel like using, then I would suggest going to a meeting. Just a thought. (It is the weekend, after all...Fridays were always hard for me.)

kj3880

Thanks, Angelina, for the quick feedback. No, I was never a weekend or party-time, Friday night type of girl. I used every day, twice a day, the same amount, or I would have been sick. But come to think of it, I did use more pills on the weekends when I was off of work. I'm not even thinking about using now, though, and I don't have access to any pain pills now, or later tonight. So maybe it would be OK to work and go to meeting in a.m.
kj

daydream

Hi kj,

I cannot proclaim to know what is best for YOU, but I will share my ESH.

I too used to get offers to work overtime, as well as invitations to do things other than meetings. The guideline I use is to look at my spiritual condition as it relates to having any temptation to use drugs. Recovery is not just about abstaining. It is also about becoming "acceptable, responsible and productive members of society" (Basic Text quote). When I follow spiritual principles in my life, such as working, managing money well, and being responsible in other ways, this benefits my recovery because it makes me feel good about myself, keeps me outta trouble, and hence I do not need to change the way I feel with a drug. So for me, currenly clean for awhile and not having any temptation to use, the right decision would be for me to take that overtime.

HOWEVER, if I was thinking of using or otherwise in a bad space that might result in relapse, that overtime would only go to fund the next fix. I better haul my ass to a meeting. My recovery is worth far more than a few hours of overtime.

So sometimes the best thing for my recovery is to be in a meeting and sometimes the best thing is for me to do something else responsible or otherwise beneficial for me or my family.

It's your decision to make and you will have to make similar decisions in the future. I have no idea how long you've been clean or if you're currently in a fragile state. If you think you might pick up a drug tonight, then by all means, GO to the meeting and TELL people you need help.

Hope that helps.

Lily

I am glad that you are at a point where you are actually debating the issue.

Keep this in mind: The meeting could have lifelong ESH in it where working for 4 hrs is just some money that will go to bills.

But it is totally up to you.

I am kind of leaning toward the meeting.....

REZ

For me, recovery is about a lot more than going to meetings. Without a doubt, regular meeting attendance is one of the pillars of the program, but there are others, i.e. step work, service, sponsorship, fellowship, prayer/meditation. For me, it is important to make meetings on a regular basis, especially my home group's meetings. I will try to arrange my schedule (work/family obligations) so that I can attend the meetings I like to go to each week. Sometimes I am unable to attend those meetings, but that is not usually a problem, as long as I attend other meetings.