Lily

Last night I ended up somewhere that I knew my DOC was at. I was dropping my son off at a close friends house for childcare and because I am such a fiend~earlier in my recovery I had taken inventory of their medicine cabinet. Well folks I am happy to say that I was not the least bit even tempted to use, sneak a peek or otherwise....

That is a major change in behavior for me. Even though I have only 101 days clean I don't want to throw away all that work. I don't want to let ppl down. (husband, sponsor, and friends in recovery) I don't want to have to take another white key tag..... I really want to honestly succeed this time!

Now that I have friends and accountablity it makes all the difference in the world! no longer must I suffer in silence and do this alone.

I am so thankful for my new found friend, the fellowship of NA......

Sheila

Paulie

Never say 'only'.

Sheila...you make me smile!

REZ

Congratulations! NA works if you work it.

Gmoney

101 days is MAJOR!!!! Congrats.

Paulie

so work it cause your worth it........
:ghug3

I love that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kj3880

Only!!! 101 days is so great! I'm getting my 30 days on Sunday and I am sooooo excited!
On the subject of sneaking a peek, I was over my Mom's house alone today...and what I did was so weird..my Dad takes percs, my DOC, and I looked in their medicine cabinet to find the big bottle of them...I just really wanted to look at it, I don't know why. I had no intention of taking any, and I didn't open up the bottle. Why did I feel I had to look at them?
kj

Gmoney

It's called the disease of addiction. Always checking in to see if you're ready to check out. Do yourself a favor: Keep your hands out of the Lion's mouth.

kj3880

Yeah, I looked at the bottle, and I thought to myself--they look so innocent, and they were the cause of so much trouble and pain in my life. It's funny, they are the devil to me, but to thousands, they are just another useful medicine. You know what it was like? It was exactly like when someone you are obsessed with/in love with (whatever you want to call it) breaks up with you, and you kind of gradually get over it, and then you get an opportunity to meet up with them, so you do, and you can't believe they caused you so much pain. You just look at them and you can't remember what it was that you found so special and entrancing about them. You know, it's been less than a month, and I can't even remember the taste of it...Thank God. I really am starting to get over it! But Garry, you're right, it's better not to meet up with a damaging "ex" after you had to break up with them, because you can get curious or sentimental, have break-up sex, and be right back where you started, if you know what I mean...and unfortunately, drugs are an "ex" that will always take us back...
kj

Gmoney

Exactly.

Lily

KJ

CUZ WE'RE FREAKS! haha just had to say that, it sounds funny.

Nah, really, it is the addict in us. I do the same thing when I am on a diet and know there is some great looking dessert nearby. I just have to sneak that peek. I am convinced this disease is more than just drugs now though for me. I have addict behavior in many areas of my life and now I REALLY want to grow up.

Tonight I was listening to this Pharmacist share at an NA meeting. He said he has 194 Months clean today. Hilarous....anyway, he was saying how he really feels like his life is more full having been and addict and working the steps than some normie could be. He said he appreciates the fact that he feels as if he has this second lease on life and how he just "feels" more. He takes the time to smell the roses.....

I love hearing him share....

congrats on your 30 days! yay for you!

blessings, Sheila

best

A kick in the teeth can bring a person a new smile if they take the right steps to repair the damage.
A new smile sure does look nice when we look in a mirror. Yes, I am grateful for all I have learned as well.