StandFast

Hi all.
I have been sober for 49 days today, but it feels like a 4999 days. Time is a differnet dimension, sometimes moving fast and sometimes realy slowwwww.

I went to a Atlantic City Wed/Thur night. In addition to wasting time and money I found that playing poker is exactly like doing a line of cocain for me.

And I mean exactly. I am hung over (Didn't drink a drop) today (Friday). I thought it was from lack of sleep but maybe I am drained from the constant aderlenine rushes I had playing poker for 15 hours.

I went to my favoriate bar in the casino and had a club soda. I didnt think about drinking/not drinking - just enjoying the vibes.

My sponser is a bit pissed off (although he did not say so directly). He mentioned that he and his buddy went there after he had 90days clean and relapsed with booze and coke.

Am I really playking with fire? I dont' think so, but what do I know?


What do u think?
Thanks

MagicMan08

Maybe your sponsor sees it as a "sticky" place to be. You lose your butt in cards, maybe chose to drink a bit to take off the edge? I don't know, only asking him what he meant by that will give you answers.

There is the circumstance of cross-addiction, where you take what you used to do and replace it with another addiction. So be careful there....

Dean62

Really?

I think you should listen to your sponsor he knows how to stay sober. If you don't listen to him why bother having one?

Take care friend.

Jfanagle

An old adage that we hear quite often in the rooms of AA is something that you may want to consider; "If you hang around a barber shop long enough you WILL get a haircut."

In the first few months perhaps years, we are less than comfortable with our sobriety and if we have had a long history of abuse of chemicals, either booze or drugs, we are much more attuned to our "old ways" than we are to our new. When we are too tired, too hungry, or too emotional it becomes easy to lapse back into the familiar behavior.

I do believe and in fact practice in my own life, a full range of venues and associations which include people and place where drinking is a part of that experience. I have LEARNED over time a very comfortable way of dealing with these situations, but I was slow to wean myself into this environment. Living is the object of sobriety, but I didn't swim in rough seas right after I had learned to dog paddle. Time is our ally, but it can also be our enemy if we don't use common sense when we decide where and what we should attempt.

Just my experience after 8 plus years of sobriety. We choose sponsors because like a paraphrase of Gene Rodenberry, "They have gone where THIS man has NOT gone before"
My sponsors have shared their experiences with me so that I didn't have to reinvent the wheel.

Best of luck and congratulations on your sobriety, keep adding to it, one day at a time.

Jon

CarolD

15 hours of poker is not a red flag to you?
Risking money you don't have to waste is not a red flag?
Sitting alone in a bar to feel the vibes is not a red flag?
Going without proper rest is not a red flag?
Going against your sponsors advice is not a red flag?
Feeling as tho you did coke is not a red flag?

Well...all those would be for me...
Geez! quit touching the stove...it's still hot.

sailorjohn

NOTHING. Which would explain why they have people called sponsors. So all that you have to do is what they suggest. It's a beautiful thing, you don't even have to think, just follow the instructions.

BUTTERFLY-7

Listen: StandFast this Disease is compulsive, headiest, sneaky,baffling, which I'm pretty sure you are very aware of it what you did was walk into the "Danger Zone" .