follow-up on meeting w/ probation officer
turning red!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: hong kong
Posts: 254
follow-up on meeting w/ probation officer
OMG my friends! I don't know what to say as so many of you have replied to my previous thread and i am soooo grateful for your support and love 
I can't thank you enough and it's so great to "see" all the familiar faces!
I'm sorry i'm so busy lately i don't have time to go check on all the updates from you and i feel like it's a bit only "me me me" but as soon as i have time i'll go and see how all of you are doing.
Please don't worry about what to say or not to say, i'm glad you are all there for me and i listen to all what is said. Doesn't mean i agree with all i read but doesn't mean people can't have a say.
Anyway, i wanted to start a new thread so it's easier (at least for me) to follow-up.
We went to see the probation officer yesterday and i thought Rain will have a deal like "probation period for 12-18 months where he needs to do random drug testing and follow-up councelor" or something like that.
It came as a blow when the probation officer said "we want him to go to rehab for at least a year, what do you feel about it?"
I know i should have seen it coming and i know, at the end of the day, that it's probably what is best for him and for us. But it just was soooo hard to face that for one year i'll be raising our daughter alone. It was very emotional and both Rain & I started crying.
Considering i will give birth soon, due date 22/05, the probation officer will ask the judge to allow Rain to stay with me until i give birth and the two weeks following birth so we can bond during that special time. During that time, of course, he'll need to go to clinic for methadon and report to officer regularly. Afterwards he'll go to rehab.
The court day will be 10/04 so we will see how it goes...
After the meeting, we went to see two rehabs as he needs to register before the court day. It was the weirdest day ever as both rehabs the officer gave us are religious one and i ended up being surrounded by people praying for us...very unconfortable but i keep this subject for another thread!!
Geezzz just came back to SR and i'm like blablablaaaaaa, so many things to say!!! You'll be tired of me soon enough
Need to go back to work.
I feel better than yesterday, it starts to sink in...
Thanks again & Hugs to you all
Carine
I can't thank you enough and it's so great to "see" all the familiar faces!
I'm sorry i'm so busy lately i don't have time to go check on all the updates from you and i feel like it's a bit only "me me me" but as soon as i have time i'll go and see how all of you are doing.
Please don't worry about what to say or not to say, i'm glad you are all there for me and i listen to all what is said. Doesn't mean i agree with all i read but doesn't mean people can't have a say.
Anyway, i wanted to start a new thread so it's easier (at least for me) to follow-up.
We went to see the probation officer yesterday and i thought Rain will have a deal like "probation period for 12-18 months where he needs to do random drug testing and follow-up councelor" or something like that.
It came as a blow when the probation officer said "we want him to go to rehab for at least a year, what do you feel about it?"
I know i should have seen it coming and i know, at the end of the day, that it's probably what is best for him and for us. But it just was soooo hard to face that for one year i'll be raising our daughter alone. It was very emotional and both Rain & I started crying.
Considering i will give birth soon, due date 22/05, the probation officer will ask the judge to allow Rain to stay with me until i give birth and the two weeks following birth so we can bond during that special time. During that time, of course, he'll need to go to clinic for methadon and report to officer regularly. Afterwards he'll go to rehab.
The court day will be 10/04 so we will see how it goes...
After the meeting, we went to see two rehabs as he needs to register before the court day. It was the weirdest day ever as both rehabs the officer gave us are religious one and i ended up being surrounded by people praying for us...very unconfortable but i keep this subject for another thread!!
Geezzz just came back to SR and i'm like blablablaaaaaa, so many things to say!!! You'll be tired of me soon enough
Need to go back to work.
I feel better than yesterday, it starts to sink in...
Thanks again & Hugs to you all
Carine
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Carine -
Oh my. What a lot to take in and be going through towards the end of a pregnancy! Remember - everything is as it should be. My RAH wasn't available for his kids until they were 7 and 9. The year will be tough but so worth it in the long run.
I can't tell you how happy and thrilled I was to see your post. I have thought about you so many times and sent you good thoughts. I've missed you. I'm excited about your baby girl. I had a due date on 5/22 for my youngest - he came on the 23rd! A lot has gone on with you and Rain....some connections with people go wayyyyyy back and are older than we are. At least that is how I've come to see things. You love Rain, you know the deal, you are a strong woman, and most importantly, know how to hold onto yourself in it all.
You've been missed - lots and lots of love, Donna
Oh my. What a lot to take in and be going through towards the end of a pregnancy! Remember - everything is as it should be. My RAH wasn't available for his kids until they were 7 and 9. The year will be tough but so worth it in the long run.
I can't tell you how happy and thrilled I was to see your post. I have thought about you so many times and sent you good thoughts. I've missed you. I'm excited about your baby girl. I had a due date on 5/22 for my youngest - he came on the 23rd! A lot has gone on with you and Rain....some connections with people go wayyyyyy back and are older than we are. At least that is how I've come to see things. You love Rain, you know the deal, you are a strong woman, and most importantly, know how to hold onto yourself in it all.
You've been missed - lots and lots of love, Donna
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
I know a year sounds like a long time (and it is) but in my experience long term rehabs are the best chance at recovery.....
hopefully there will be visiting and Rain will get to be a part of baby's first year even tho it won't be on a daily basis....
it won't be the first time a parent misses milestones (military parents miss so much)
I know its a sacrifice but I'm praying it will be worth it!
hopefully there will be visiting and Rain will get to be a part of baby's first year even tho it won't be on a daily basis....
it won't be the first time a parent misses milestones (military parents miss so much)
I know its a sacrifice but I'm praying it will be worth it!
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
OMG?! A year? What an amazing thing to fall into his life.
I think that is great!
I know it will be hard for you, but he needs help. He's been trying
pretty hard from what I know of your story and seems he needs more
help.
I know how hard it is for me to stay clean and I didn't use near as long
as him.
I hope this works out for all of you.. :praying
2
I think that is great!
I know it will be hard for you, but he needs help. He's been trying
pretty hard from what I know of your story and seems he needs more
help.
I know how hard it is for me to stay clean and I didn't use near as long
as him.
I hope this works out for all of you.. :praying
2
a bit of artificial reality
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: orlando, fl
Posts: 13
WOW... Thats alot. lol I dont have a child and im not pregnant but i do have a bf that got sentenced to rehab for 1 year. He gets out in 5 days and I cant wait... soo excited.. yet so scared for him. He was in a goodwill rehab and it was pretty good. Visitation was allowed... phone calls during the week, and after a couple months he was allowed home twice a week. My EX was in one of the religious rehabs.. and omg no.... it tore us apart.. He could never use the phone.. I mean never!! Randomly at 3am id get a call from him whispering that he snuck out of bed, and found a phone just to tell me he loved me, then gotta go, bye!!! He came home like twice in a whole year , and once was cuz he needed his wisdom teeth out!! Im not non religious or anything...( im actually catholic) lol but if u can choose... choose something other than the religious one!!! but good luck to u guys!!!!! ur in my prayers
Just plainly tired
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: crossroads
Posts: 2,834
Funk,
To me the year sounds great... I know for you it doesnt seem to be good at all.. a year away from you and your baby. but he will be able to focus on himself and his recovery and hopefully this will be his time that he will be able to get everything straightened out.
I remember being pregnant with my son and abf off using... the stress of it all. When our son was 2 months old he got picked up by parole and was in prison for about 4 months. I was able to do it myself and I also have a daughter. Even though he wasn't around for about 6 months or so and even started using after he came back out but him and his son have such a bond its incredible.
I also think its great that his probation officer is giving him two weeks after the baby is born to go into rehab. While you may be sad, hurt just keep in mind when the going gets tough that hopefully this time he will "get it" a year in a lifetime is really short honey.
hugs,
Jewelz
To me the year sounds great... I know for you it doesnt seem to be good at all.. a year away from you and your baby. but he will be able to focus on himself and his recovery and hopefully this will be his time that he will be able to get everything straightened out.
I remember being pregnant with my son and abf off using... the stress of it all. When our son was 2 months old he got picked up by parole and was in prison for about 4 months. I was able to do it myself and I also have a daughter. Even though he wasn't around for about 6 months or so and even started using after he came back out but him and his son have such a bond its incredible.
I also think its great that his probation officer is giving him two weeks after the baby is born to go into rehab. While you may be sad, hurt just keep in mind when the going gets tough that hopefully this time he will "get it" a year in a lifetime is really short honey.
hugs,
Jewelz
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
Carine,
I am so glad things went well yesterday. It could have been so much worse. When he gets out in a year hopefully it will be the last time you will have to deal with it. I am sure you will be taking alot of pictures of your daughter so daddy always has a new one.
May is a good month for her to be born, she will be a special little girl and have her Aunt Pam's love, hopefully she will be born on the 5th of May and not the 22nd. If she is I am sending her a BIG GIFT. This way I will always remember her birthday, same as mine.
You need to post of new picture of you showing us how you look.
Hugs to all of you
I am so glad things went well yesterday. It could have been so much worse. When he gets out in a year hopefully it will be the last time you will have to deal with it. I am sure you will be taking alot of pictures of your daughter so daddy always has a new one.
May is a good month for her to be born, she will be a special little girl and have her Aunt Pam's love, hopefully she will be born on the 5th of May and not the 22nd. If she is I am sending her a BIG GIFT. This way I will always remember her birthday, same as mine.
You need to post of new picture of you showing us how you look.
Hugs to all of you
turning red!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: hong kong
Posts: 254
thanks dear friends!
Yeaaah i have some time today as it is public holidays here so i can reply one by one:
((Donna))
It's so great to see you here! I've also missed you and i'll have to go see how you're doing. I hope everything is great for you.
As for me, yeah i know the deal and yeah i think in the long run it's all worth it. But i think you'll see me much more around lately with all that! Need you guys!
xo
((Lil))
Thanks for your support. There will be visitation allowed once a month but only after few months, i think. Not sure yet but we will manage, no choices...
((anvilhead))
Totally agree with you. One way the timing seems terrible, on the other hand it seems perfect because -if he gets it this time- our daughter will be able to grow old with her dad.
((Done-With-It))
Thanks darling for being here! It's great you're still around and still clean! youhhhouu you rock! You know i think Rain is now almost relieved and happy to be sentenced to rehab. He's doing great since ordered to do that, i think he finally see one direction to go in his life and not turning in circle like he's been doing the past few months... x
((Tiffany))
Great to hear your bf has one year under his belt and will be back home soon! Let us know how it goes As for the religious rehab, totally agree with you but apparently there is not much choices in HK if he wants a government one and if he wants a good one. The non-religious rehab he's tried before and gave up after one month cos people were actually shooting up in the toilets.. 
anyway it'll be tough cos indeed no phone calls are allowed!!
((Jewelz))
I remember when you were pregnant and here in SR dear. Who knew at that time i'll soon htake the same path as you hum? And i've seen how strong you are and you're still doing great! So, are you guys back together now? From what i understand he's still using? i'll go check on your last threads to see how it goes. Thanks for being here x
((mum Pam))
Great to see you here too! I'll try to ask baby to come on the 5th if there is a great present for her, hehe! But you have competition cos i got lots of friends/family who are born that month and they ask me to deliver on their bday too! Though honnestly the 5th is a bit too early! My mum will come to HK to help me only on the 15tth so i'd rather wait for her if you don't mind xo
Yeaaah i have some time today as it is public holidays here so i can reply one by one:
((Donna))
It's so great to see you here! I've also missed you and i'll have to go see how you're doing. I hope everything is great for you.
As for me, yeah i know the deal and yeah i think in the long run it's all worth it. But i think you'll see me much more around lately with all that! Need you guys!
xo
((Lil))
Thanks for your support. There will be visitation allowed once a month but only after few months, i think. Not sure yet but we will manage, no choices...
((anvilhead))
Totally agree with you. One way the timing seems terrible, on the other hand it seems perfect because -if he gets it this time- our daughter will be able to grow old with her dad.
((Done-With-It))
Thanks darling for being here! It's great you're still around and still clean! youhhhouu you rock! You know i think Rain is now almost relieved and happy to be sentenced to rehab. He's doing great since ordered to do that, i think he finally see one direction to go in his life and not turning in circle like he's been doing the past few months... x
((Tiffany))
Great to hear your bf has one year under his belt and will be back home soon! Let us know how it goes
As for the religious rehab, totally agree with you but apparently there is not much choices in HK if he wants a government one and if he wants a good one. The non-religious rehab he's tried before and gave up after one month cos people were actually shooting up in the toilets.. 
anyway it'll be tough cos indeed no phone calls are allowed!!((Jewelz))
I remember when you were pregnant and here in SR dear. Who knew at that time i'll soon htake the same path as you hum? And i've seen how strong you are and you're still doing great! So, are you guys back together now? From what i understand he's still using? i'll go check on your last threads to see how it goes. Thanks for being here x
((mum Pam))
Great to see you here too! I'll try to ask baby to come on the 5th if there is a great present for her, hehe! But you have competition cos i got lots of friends/family who are born that month and they ask me to deliver on their bday too! Though honnestly the 5th is a bit too early! My mum will come to HK to help me only on the 15tth so i'd rather wait for her if you don't mind
xo
Just plainly tired
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: crossroads
Posts: 2,834
Wow you look great!! I wish I looked like that pregnant!!
Well I guess you could say he is still using. We went on a vacation to Puerto Rico... and he didnt do anything there. Since we got home I know of him using once but who knows... it seems like an endless battle.
Well I guess you could say he is still using. We went on a vacation to Puerto Rico... and he didnt do anything there. Since we got home I know of him using once but who knows... it seems like an endless battle.
turning red!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: hong kong
Posts: 254
thanks girls Well that picture was taken one month ago so now i look more like a big whale and my face starts to be swollen! Nevertheless i'm feeling pretty good during this pregnancy so i feel lucky.
Jewelz: yep, you said it: seems like an endless battle...so let's try to appreciate the time we have with our loved ones day by day.xo
Well that picture was taken one month ago so now i look more like a big whale and my face starts to be swollen! Nevertheless i'm feeling pretty good during this pregnancy so i feel lucky.Jewelz: yep, you said it: seems like an endless battle...so let's try to appreciate the time we have with our loved ones day by day.xo
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