lostnow

Well here I sit again
I made through a very stressful week. Everything that could go wrong did I was late for work twice and not just a few minutes. I got my days mixed up and went to a weekly meeting I have on the wrong day causing me to be late at work. At least everyone has been very understanding. I had a day off but my kid was had some issues come up and I had to spend the day at the doctors office not his fault and of course I will put my child's needs before my own he's to young to take care of him self.

I guess I just never realized how alone I could feel or how overwhelming this could be. I had felt very much like a single parent these last few month before my AH left although I took things for granted like the fact I could go to the store alone. Also it was not always this bad or as bad as it was when he left and I go back to those time the good times. Then I start thinking I should have tried harder or just put up with it maybe. I know I can't but this isn't easy either.

I feel as though I'm doing everything I should but it's all being done badly. Everything is late I have a report at work to do should have turned it in Thursday . Then school I should have turned in an assignment Friday and it's not even done.

I did manage to work out a financial issue out so I 'm not stressing over that. I also went to find a counselor they called it a intake and now I wait to be assigned a counselor. I felt good about doing that.
As for my AH he's not calling and thank goodness he didn't all week because not sure I could have handled him on top of everything. He has done the few things he said he would. He far as I know is in not treatment. When I did talk to him he was very distant, just makes me sad. I will keep hanging on though, I just needed to vent.

imallright

One step at a time and you are taking steps! I described it as a roller coaster and sometimes it seems like that car is never going to climb back up. But it does! Feel good about what you accomplished, rest and be good to you. It will start to come together, because you want it to and you are taking action to make it happen. Enjoy the day.

cece

"Lost"
When I feel overwhelmed, I try to remember to do "The next best thing". I have found that I needed to focus on one issue at a time.
when I would let every problem come flooding in I would usually sit on the couch and do nothing because I was too overwhelmed to know where to start.
I was a single mom going to school and work 15 years ago. i look back now and don't know how i did it.
But I am glad I did .
Having an AH that you still Love, but is outside the home with not much recovery in sight can take a big toll on you.
I understand the need to revisit the relationship in your mind ,to think about what went wrong and what went right.
But don't give it too much of yourself. You already did that. You decided to separate yourself and from the addiction for today The future is unknown and holds many possibilities for you and your husband. .Try to not let your mind go there. Focus on doing the best thing for today.
and Try to keep it on the good things.
You are working and supporting your family.
You are going to school to better you and your family's life.
You are taking care of finances.
You are there for your kids.
These are amazing things. You should be proud.
Its okay to not do everything perfectly right all the time. It is okay if at times one commitment gets more time than another. Its a big balancing game with that much on your plate.
Keep moving forward. you are doing good.8
Cathy

lostnow

Cathy Thank you :ghug3
I cried when I read your post
I was putting a load of laundry into the dryer, washing dishes (water was still running) reading this thread, oh yea I was also cooking my kids breakfast French toast was cooking on the stove.
Talk about multitaskings

I needed to hear I don't have to be perfect.
My kids will be alright even if they don't eat a five coarse meal every night or have pancakes every Sunday. I try to do all I have always done on top of what my AH did ie: pancakes on Sundays five coarse meals he was usually the cook.

BayAreaPhoenix

You're doing it! You are on your way to a healthier happier you!

There will be good days and not so good days, so don't sell yourself short! We do NOT have to be perfect! Thank goodness, because I don't know about you, but I was doing a pretty lousy job at trying to be. I like the feeling of being human - imperfections and all! I'm not quite used to it, it's sort of relaxing and you know my brain's not built for that - yet, but it's getting more comfortable too.

((((hugs)))) keep taking a step forward, and you will get there before you know it!

sailorjohn

Key words: "I made it through another stressful week" YOU MADE IT!

Congratulations, give yourself a pat on the back while you're at it.

Bean

I know it's not easy, believe me. I am to be a single Mom of 2 children. I know it will be a rocky road ahead at times and a sense of freedom I had will now be gone. But in turn I get to sleep easy at night, knowing we are all safe and so are my possesions. My children will get there Mom back and healthy mentally. I know in the long run every single person will benefit from this, even including my AH. You can do this, you are not perfect and that is perfectly ok!! Do what you can each day and know in time it will get easier!!!