StandFast

Everyone seems to want to do things that may interfere with my sobriety. My family does not know that I have a problem with alcohol and my drinking buddies could care less.

The fact is booze is everywhere and although I am committed to not drinking, I really don't want to be around it. I a still siffting through a more real universe and getting right with my HP - Which I do 90% of the time.

But I am not enforcing my boundries and find it hard to say NO and instead hem and haw and leave room for unlikely possbilities.

I really need to do what every I feel like doing and avoid a relapse at just about any costs.

Any suggestions for what you do when you are single and sober?

sailorjohn

You might have to lose everyone in the process, like you said, most of your friends don't care, indeed, if they are problem drinkers themselves the very last thing they want is the reminder when YOU don't drink. "If you are willing to go to ANY lengths" Yeah, it sucks, but of the people I grew up with, partied with, most of those folks aren't in my life anymore.

Anna

Hi StandFast,

I do understand.

I had to make some big changes in my life too in order to stay sober. I removed a few toxic people from my life, including family members. I had to put my recovery as the priority. I had to learn to say 'No' which was really hard for me and had caused me all kinds of problems. People had taken advantage of me, my family had taken advantage of me and I had allowed it and my self-esteem had fallen drastically.

You do need to do whatever it takes. I no longer pay attention to what people think about me.

And, remember no one can interfere with your sobriety unless you let them. Firm up those boundaries and move forward.

reed

I'm single and sober, just moved home.

I lived in a halfway house with a bunch of other people in recovery from all sorts of addictions (in Delray Beach). There are a lot of peeps in recovery there. There was always some sober people to hang out with there. Going to meetings gets me my no drinking fix, AA ain't a social club for me.

You might consider an Oxford House around where you live, then you are living with sobers. You might make a friend or just go to AA like crazy and try to meet new friends. Look for other types of clubs that you could join.

My drinking friends drink. Thats mostly what we did together besides fish (more drinking), ski, surf, live music (drinking), hang at the beach (drinking) and eat (possibly drinking), thats 2 out 4.

Since I've been home, I have been hanging out by myself mostly. Work starts Tuesday. Hopefully, I'll be so tired that potential (old) social life will die. Thats kinda sad, ain't it.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help.

StandFast

Reed thanks for understanding.

I am living home as well and while it has it good points, but it is a bit embarrassing for me.

I have become friends with one fellow at AA. We play a lot of Poker which is okay.

I have a lot to do as far as working on my sobriety, spirituality, familey relationships, financials, job searching, markeitng my business, and basicly learning not to be a self centered human being.

I also work out 3/5 times per week, go to church on sundays (and yoga). I go to at least 4 meetings per week (which I am finding consume an average of 1.75 hours each).

I would like to get back with my ex as we have been talking for the last 2 years but I realize that I am in no position to do so now.

I am just holding on day by day and looking for that 90 day milestone - so that I can according to my sponser then do the 4 step.

Alls well that ends well.

LogCabin

Just remember...to make life better...you have to keep your sobrity the number one thing you do...for now.

With time...you will learn to treasure and protect it.

I avoided drinking places and people for my first year. Then I had to go to a wedding. I wanted to go, and I found it was easy to pass up the alcohol. I had fun. A few moments of anxiety at the mandatory toasting time, but it was more important that I not get drunk and make a fool of myself.

I also realized that not everyone there was drinking! And only about 4 or 5 people got shipfaced drunk.

Before I would go to a wedding and think everyone was just like me...wanted to get loaded. Now I see that was not really the case. And I like being on the team that holds it together (And can laugh at the foolish ones....he he).