jacksdaughter

Called my son several times now since our talk on Sunday and no he hasn't returned my calls. I thought our talk went okay, even though he did go off in a huff. I know there aren't any real answers, just have to vent as I am very sad and worried about him as usual.

Thanks for listening.

marle

With an addict you don't have to say anything and it can put them in a huff. My daughter and I were getting to a better point, or so I thought. In the past I could always attribute her going MIA to something that happened. This time I could not and it made me realize that it doesn't matter what I do or don't do. Addiction is such a powerful force. Your son may be feeling guilt, shame, fear or he may just be enjoying his drugs. Understanding why is not really as important as just knowing it is addiction and there is nothing you can do except take care of you. Hugs, Marle

jacksdaughter

You are probably right, it never takes much to set him off and running. Now his phone is shut off, must have ran out of minutes again. It just boggles the mind that your child wouldn't want better and has so much to offer and is wasteing his life. Some days it makes me crazy I will admit. I guess in some ways I feel a great deal of guilt as when we moved 3 years ago I don't think he was ready to be on his own He was asked to move with us, but he declined. I know it was his choice but I keep thinking maybe we should have waited a couple of more years. Even though he was 23 at the time, I don't think he was ready. But then again maybe he never would have been. Thanks for listening.:praying

justanothrdrunk

I'm not implying that the way I feel in any way relates to your son. Just thought I would share here...

The last person in the world I ever want to talk to on the phone is my mother. And the thing is it's not all her - not 100% anyway.

I just spent the weekend with my folks and I'm realizing more and more how big a role I'm playing in my resentment toward her. Still, I've got a long way to go.

Impurrfect

(((Jacksdaughter)))

I hope you that you not allowing him to move with you did not make him become an addict. Remember the 3 c's...you didn't cause it, can't control it, and can't cure it.

I am a recovering addict, and I know that it was totally my decision to pick up in the first place. I amj way older than your son, but I had a loving family, great job, and was doing good....I still became an addict.

I didn't talk to my dad when I was using very much. I was too ashamed, and quite honestly, too busy getting high to deal with "real life". I put my family through hell, but at least I've been given another chance to have a relationship with them.

Don't take it personal if he doesn't call you. The lure of the drugs is all-consuming....the ONLY thing an active addict can think about. If he's not high, he's trying to figure out a way to GET high. It's a life I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

He knows you love him. Unfortunately, when we're active, we take that for granted.

Hugs and prayers to both of you!

Amy

Done_With_It

I don't call my Mom back when I'm stressing or not doing good, or whatever.
Doesn't mean anything except that I don't want her to worry. lol.
For me it usually means I can't deal with her worrying about me, when I'm trying to deal with taking care of myself.

But it doesn't mean I am not okay, it doesn't mean I don't love her, it doesn't mean I'm not figuring out my life, or working on it, or living life the best way I know how.

and the biggest thing it means, is I am not calling her back because I so desperately want her to be happy and not worry about me.......

hope213

let it go. could be as d.w.i. said, he just don't want to worry you. he can be fine & just be busy. work on your recovery. my recovery is saving my life. i try to stay in today & as long as i do not hear anything i am ususlly ok.prayers,