jen960

It really does amaze me how long this moving on thing takes. How nice it would be if when we leave life just got better and better each day without the emotional ups and downs that go along with it. My baby daughter gets sick and is waking in the night etc and it is still my first instinct to call AH. My baby walked her first steps today and he is the first person I want to call. Then it makes me sad. Just needing somewhere to vent out a few things... Life goes on

imallright

Hi Jen... It is the disease you hate, not the man. That being said, he made choices and so did you. Enjoy your beautiful baby girl. I am sure that it is very difficult sometimes, because we all wish it could have been different. I struggle with this every day too. I think about "how in the world did I get here" and why didn't I get a storybook life. BUT, I didn't and the only thing I can do is to live each day fully, move forward and feel some relief and joy in the fact that I have decided to live a healthier life for me and my kids. I too share the why can't it just be better all the time and not take so long to move on... but the scars and damage are deep. Go easy on yourself. Look for support, make friends, get out of the house and most of all thank God for the precious beautiful baby. Have a good day! HUGS

zoolu58

Personally I hate the expression "Move On". It makes it seem as though I'm crazy. You aren't either. You have memories of someone you had some pleasant times with. It didn't occur overnight and it isn't that easy to forget the good times even though the bad things existed too. You have to go through the crying and anger until you can't anymore and get yourself stronger. No one can tell how long that will be. Just know that we heard you, we care and you have this forum to let us know the state you're in.

kj21

No advice, just know you are not alone, if any one has any tips with moving on I too would love to hear them.

grateful2b

got nothing here, Jen..just want to drop in an give you a big old hug...:ghug3

Taffletips

I just left my AH, too. It's so hard...most of the time. But then I remember why I left. It's not because I stopped loving him, or he stopped loving me, it's that I had to do what's right for me. I had to be selfish. He got to be selfish when he was using. Now it's my turn. Of course, I firmly believe that it will help him get through this, too. He won't have me to use as an excuse or a distraction. He'll be able to work on him completely. Oh, and sometimes I feel relief. I've been focused on him so much that I didn't have any energy to focus on me.

I don't know the answers or anything really good to say except what I'm doing. I write "letters" to him when I feel lonely or mad or confused by all the emotions I'm feeling. Sometimes I can't sleep because all the "what if's" play in my head over and over again. But as soon as I write them down the way they come to me the better I feel and usually fall asleep right away. Of course, I don't have a child that needs my attention so I have the liberty to write when I need to but maybe you could find time? I dunno. If I come up with any "Ah-hah!" thoughts on getting over this or through this, I will definitely let you know. Until then, I'll send you hug vibes!

Cupicake

It is a slow and tough progression but nothing in life that is good ever comes easy. I divorced my husband last year but we've been apart for over a year and only now do I feel like I'm making 'significant' progress. I still feel sadness in my heart and the lonliness but the benefits I am reaping from just focusing on my life and doing the things that are making my life better are priceless.
Your husband was a big part of your everyday life as was mine. It's normal to want to share any kind of joy we have with them. Just know that you are doing the right thing for you even though sometimes it doesn't feel that way...it's helped me to keep my focus on that.
Many hugs to you.