Nikki221

I'm having a really hard time right now...I think I'm about to have an emotional breakdown. My ABF and I broke up a few weeks ago and we had no contact for awhile. At first I was miserable and after about two weeks I started to feel a little better about things. Well, then I ran into him a week or so ago because he moved back home with his mom (he had moved about an hour away from where we live to supposedly "get his life together") and now everything has been downhill. If I don't see him or talk to him or hear anything about him then I'm ok, but this is hard considering we go to the same places and have the same friends. I don't feel like I should have to rearrange my life due to him, but maybe this is what it will take. Now he's acting like we never broke up and he's just picking right back up from where we left off. I was starting to feel strong before and now I feel like I'm weakening. He always does this...I get mad and break up with him and he waits for awhile until I'm not mad anymore and then tries to weasel his way back into my life. He tried to tell me the same old story about how he was going to get his life together and how he quit taking the pills, but I'm not trying to hear it anymore. I told him to start doing things instead of just saying it...show me some progress...take some action!!! On top of that his old roomate told me that right after we broke up he was messing with some nasty stripper and this broke my heart. We weren't having sex when we were together and he said it was because of the drugs and then we break up and suddenly he's able to? I know that it meant nothing to him and we were broken up and of course he comes right back to me...he always comes back to me, but I wasn't out there doing anything. I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle with him and I want out, but it's a constant struggle. Some moments I feel strong and the next moment I don't think I can do it. I'm miserable with him and I'm miserable without him. I cannot keep leaving my life like this...I just want this hurt in my heart to go away. I know nothing but time can heal my hurt, but I want it to stop now. I want to wake up tomorrow and be happy...I want to forget all about him.

Impurrfect

(((Nikki)))

Maybe staying away from places where he is for a while, would help. No, you shouldn't have to rearrange your life because of him, but if you need to not see him for a while, to get a bit stronger, it's not a bad idea.

You're right, in that only time will make it better, but I understand the hurt. You're only miserable without him, because you haven't gotten to the point where you can focus on YOU and what you want from life, then going for it. Give yourself a chance.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Wascally Wabbit

Get busy! Stay busy!
When we stay busy, we don't think about things too much. Find a class! Yoga, photography, dance, anything.
You will be suprised at how much staying busy will help with the fear and anxiety.

kj0975

Its so easy to get back into the rut when u start talking again. Especially when u have the same friends and hang out with the same people. The problem is before you know it your back together hanging out all the time and talking and acting like a couple again. It just happens where the other person just weasles themselves back into your life and then your daily life and then its like your dating again. I have been there sadly more than once. although you have the same friends I'm sure you know people that dont know him and dont hang out with him. For awhile you gotta change friends and change alot of things to keep your distance otherwise your right back on the rollarcoaster and each time it gets harder to jump off the ride. I went through this for over 3yrs at first I thought i'm not going to give up my friends cause of him, then it went to the we can be around each other fine and not fight, then the next thing we would have sex then the next thing we were back together before I even realized what was going on.

You have to distance yourself right now your friends think they are helping you by telling you what he is doing but all they are doing is making you feel bad. Do all you can right now to distance yourself and when they start talking about him if you have to be around them tell your friends you dont wanna hear about him or talk about them and if they are your true friends they will respect your wishes. Its a catch 22 you wanna know yet when u do know it hurts u more. This is so hard but you have to stay away you have to distance yourself it is easier with time. (((hugs)))