chicago

Yesterday was my 28th birthday. My father and step mother called me over to their house for a little chat. They basically sat me down and drilled me because im focused too heavily on my GF (she's also in the program) and my behavior is selfish and inconsiderate. It was a strange time to sit me down, no doubt. The attacks drew so personal that instead of responding I just broke down and cried. I didnt know how to respond without pointing out their flaws....which I used to do all the time....so I didnt say anything and just cried and cried. It was very emotionally draining. I havent been attacked like that by family members in all of sobriety (over 2 years). They kept analyzing AA and its effectiveness....telling me maybe i need a shrink. AA has relieved my obsession but I left wanting to just die....AA has taught me how to get past feelings like that without drinking though...I went to a meeting and had a great b-day dinner with my girlfriend. Now im getting ready to meet with my new sponsor (we're starting at 6-7) before hitting up the gym and making a 6pm meeting. I feel like im 16 years old again getting attacked by my parents...only im 28! Well, definitely powerless over people. But I'm definitely carrying a resentment (which only hurts me). Thank God for sponsorship as im sure ill feel better after meeting with him.

Jersey Nonny

Happy Belated Birthday...sorry it was almost ruined for you...but, thankfully it wasn't totally.

At 28, you're certainly old enough to know whether or not AA is helping you to stay sober...since your family apparently doesn't have any first-hand knowledge, they don't have the same perspective of the program that you do. I'm sure they have your best interests at heart, they're just not showing it the way you would hope them to.

As long as you feel in your heart that you're doing the right thing, and two years of sobriety is good evidence of that, continue on the AA path you've chosen and pray that your family will come to accept it...or at least leave you alone about it.

I wish you well.

Cindi R

Good on you...for not lashing out at them in the usual manner in which you are accustomed.
Although in hindsight, it may well have been indicated. They may well have it coming.
Do they make logical valid points? \Or are they simply jealous that you've become your own person and don't need mommy & daddy to pick you up out of the gutter any more?
The whole dynamics of a family changes when the alcoholic/addict becomes a productive member of society...
there are sometimes efforts to "squash him/her back down, put he/she in their place", not let them forget where they came from by golly...
especially if there has been a previous dysfunctional family relationship in place.
Maybe they now feel that you "owe them"...for whatever reason.
Don't let this rain on your parade....
I learned that as soon as I got my NA/AA issues under control.....there were glaring CODA and ACOA issues just waiting to be worked on!
Keep coming back...
more will be revealed!

gypsytears

I have no advice for you. Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday .

Rowan

Happy Birthday - I'm so sorry about what happened with your family. Mine triggers me in a big way, and I can identify with the crying. I'm glad you didn't drink over it, and that you are continuing to move forward with the steps and your workouts. Hang in there - this too shall pass.

Ro

SF69

Happy B-Day Chicago!

I too am sorry to hear about the situation with your parents. Try not to let it get you down too much. You've done some great work over the past couple of years, and I'd hate to see your parents misunderstanding of AA ruin it for you.

good luck with your new sponsor!

chicago

hey thanks for the replies. i had a great talk with my sponsor and felt great afterwards. then i hit up the gym and now im hanging out watching TV until my meeting tonight. its -3 degree's here so im glad im inside!

nogard

happy birthday (((((((Chicago))))))). Sometims I think I am fortunate to survive my family.

Jersey Nonny

I've heard it said that for every active alcoholic, five other people are affected by their alcoholism...in addition to it being "a family disease" that affects the other members of the alcoholic's family. Remember, they are as sick as you, in their own way...and they don't have the benefit of AA to help them recover. Again, I say pray for them...it will take away any resentment towards them that might get in the way of your own recovery.