BohemiMamaof3

OK, it's a big deal for me. As a Christian minister's wife and a co-de I feel like everyone expects me to be sweet and obliging and willing to help. I have a hard time separating real helping from helping too much or being taken advantage of. Friday night I got home from grocery shopping, and as a family were going to have dinner & watch a movie. My DH’s arthritic knee was bothering him, so he was resting with it up. My neighbor’s son knocked on the door and asked if I could drive him & his Dad to *Stuff-Mart* and drop them off so they could go shopping awhile and then ride home with their mom/wife (she works there) when she gets off work. It took me a few minutes to realize that they didn’t need a ride, this was just something they wanted to do, and they didn’t want to use their own car, so they could ride back the wife. The neighbor boy is disabled with a speech impediment and when he speaks he’s a little hard to understand, so it took me a few questions to get that. Plus, the dad makes me a little uncomfortable, and my DH was definitely not up to driving anywhere. In the past I would’ve done it to be a good neighbor, because serving others is what expected of a ministry family, etc., but here is my own family, that has been planning on some fun family time with dinner and a movie, they would have been put off about an hour or so that it took me to drive there and back. If it was an emergency I would’ve helped them. But I said, no, sorry I can’t do it. And I’m kind of proud of myself.

CatsPajamas

EB,

Doesn't it feel great to realize we have choices in how we respond to people? I know it was difficult for me the first few times I said "no" instead of automatically saying "yes".

I totally understand the feeling of pride, too. It means we are finally taking care of ourselves!

And the people around us get to lear that "NO" is, in fact, a complete sentence.

Hugs
Cats