What Makes you a SUCCESS
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
What Makes you a SUCCESS
I come on here and over and over I hear people saying they feel they are bad parents and if only they had done something different, they would not have an addict child. Their words drip with self defeat (no matter how wrong they are.. matters more the child than the parenting, but I digress).
I hear people in relationships blaming themselves for their addicts not being clean or not loving them or for loving drugs more. More self defeating words (and again, it matters not that they are wrong and it is between the addict and the drug and nothing to do with them).
As co dependents we seem to frequently find ourselves in a room filled with stuff and someone has just turned the lights out. We can't see a THING and we keep rapping our shins and bumbling around in the dark beating ourselves up on things we can't even see coming while we desparately try to find the DARN LIGHT SWITCH.
OK.. so we can't find the light switch.. can we find a match? A Lightning bug? a glowing watch dial?? Any bit of LIGHT in the blasted darkness...
So, here we are on Christmas Day. We are about to start New Year and it is a great place to start a NEW ATTITUDE. NO SELF DEFEATING WORDS!!!
So, here goes:
1.) WHAT makes YOU a SUCCESS? If you cannot look at your life and say it is a success, what part of your life is successful? It does not have to be something big.. it can be as simple as you can clean a bathroom quicker and better than anyone you know.. or you have a sure fire way to make any baby smile.. ANYTHING AT ALL but it MUST be something you are successful at.
2.)What are you going to do to BUILD on that success to have it envelop more of your life (if not ALL of your life)?
Cuz I can tell you this.. even when you can't even find a watch dial in that miserable dark room with all those sharp heavy objects at shin height, you can count one thing you are good at and successful at. And once you find that one thing, you can build on it and add to it and it will snowball.
Remember:
I hear people in relationships blaming themselves for their addicts not being clean or not loving them or for loving drugs more. More self defeating words (and again, it matters not that they are wrong and it is between the addict and the drug and nothing to do with them).
As co dependents we seem to frequently find ourselves in a room filled with stuff and someone has just turned the lights out. We can't see a THING and we keep rapping our shins and bumbling around in the dark beating ourselves up on things we can't even see coming while we desparately try to find the DARN LIGHT SWITCH.
OK.. so we can't find the light switch.. can we find a match? A Lightning bug? a glowing watch dial?? Any bit of LIGHT in the blasted darkness...
So, here we are on Christmas Day. We are about to start New Year and it is a great place to start a NEW ATTITUDE. NO SELF DEFEATING WORDS!!!
So, here goes:
1.) WHAT makes YOU a SUCCESS? If you cannot look at your life and say it is a success, what part of your life is successful? It does not have to be something big.. it can be as simple as you can clean a bathroom quicker and better than anyone you know.. or you have a sure fire way to make any baby smile.. ANYTHING AT ALL but it MUST be something you are successful at.
2.)What are you going to do to BUILD on that success to have it envelop more of your life (if not ALL of your life)?
Cuz I can tell you this.. even when you can't even find a watch dial in that miserable dark room with all those sharp heavy objects at shin height, you can count one thing you are good at and successful at. And once you find that one thing, you can build on it and add to it and it will snowball.
Remember:
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
I get to go first:
When it comes to working I can figure things out. I can learn how to do anything. I may not be brilliant but I can do most things soidly and I will try anything at all. There is NO job I cannot do. I may ask a lot of questions. I made need to read some books. I may need to work on something with complete focus to get it, but there is NOTHING I cannot learn how to do.
As a result, even when I have made BAD career decisions, I have managed to find a way to land on my feet or get back on my feet if I have crashed and burned. I may not do it brilliantly but I will do it solidly, completely and reliably.
I never get so discouraged that I quit trying (tho I may threaten to).
Whose NEXT?
When it comes to working I can figure things out. I can learn how to do anything. I may not be brilliant but I can do most things soidly and I will try anything at all. There is NO job I cannot do. I may ask a lot of questions. I made need to read some books. I may need to work on something with complete focus to get it, but there is NOTHING I cannot learn how to do.
As a result, even when I have made BAD career decisions, I have managed to find a way to land on my feet or get back on my feet if I have crashed and burned. I may not do it brilliantly but I will do it solidly, completely and reliably.
I never get so discouraged that I quit trying (tho I may threaten to).
Whose NEXT?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I'll give it a shot 
I consider myself a success when I have lived a day well and the world is perhaps just a little bit better because I was there.
If I live up to my aspirations and dreams, and if I remain true to my values, then I sleep like a baby at the end of the day.
My talents? I have good instinct and can see things through. I have courage to do what needs to be done and I believe in myself today. I believe in my dreams and have found that they really can come true if I am willing to do the work necessary to get there. I like people and people seem to like me....that helps.
Maybe my success is simply that I am loving life today, enjoying the beauty each day brings. Life doesn't get better than that. does it?
Hugs
I consider myself a success when I have lived a day well and the world is perhaps just a little bit better because I was there.
If I live up to my aspirations and dreams, and if I remain true to my values, then I sleep like a baby at the end of the day.
My talents? I have good instinct and can see things through. I have courage to do what needs to be done and I believe in myself today. I believe in my dreams and have found that they really can come true if I am willing to do the work necessary to get there. I like people and people seem to like me....that helps.
Maybe my success is simply that I am loving life today, enjoying the beauty each day brings. Life doesn't get better than that. does it?
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
I am a success because I have always found a way to rise above my pain. Growing up with an alcoholic dad and then having an addict child, I never gave up. I am very good at introspection. A trait that I used to think was a minus because of the pain it sometimes has cost me in the past, I now view as a plus. I am a very dedicated worker and have only worked at two different jobs in my life. I am loyal and kind and believe in not hurting other people. I absolutely love animals and have a way with them. I am very proud of the way that I have been able to let go and let God and trust in His will for me and my loved ones. I am a good wife. I am happy with the little things in life. I am satisfied with who I am and what I do with my life. It may not be exciting to some but it is serene and that is the way I like it. Thanks Elana for the post. Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Thanks Elana -
Your success made me realize that I can claim the same success. There's never been anything that I've wanted to learn, that I haven't. I had one job, was bored to death, so taught myself several computer programs. The programmer people used to send people to ME, to explain the programs. I love to read and learn...I'd be a professional student if I could get paid to do it
Thanks for making me think of something good about myself today.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Your success made me realize that I can claim the same success. There's never been anything that I've wanted to learn, that I haven't. I had one job, was bored to death, so taught myself several computer programs. The programmer people used to send people to ME, to explain the programs. I love to read and learn...I'd be a professional student if I could get paid to do it
Thanks for making me think of something good about myself today.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Yes Elana! We do need to see our better side once in a while!
My successful self has a lot of compassion on others in need. While this has gotten me in trouble in the past, I am now fully aware how to handle those who would use my good nature, and use me. This no longer happens. I thank all the alanon, and especially all the SR support for opening my eyes.
My successful self has a lot of compassion on others in need. While this has gotten me in trouble in the past, I am now fully aware how to handle those who would use my good nature, and use me. This no longer happens. I thank all the alanon, and especially all the SR support for opening my eyes.
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