Mewoman

I was at the court to bail out my nephew for a theft under 200$ charge , he never got bail but I had to sit in for a few men before him .

These were the two men that got bail , a 25 year old male that was there on his second drunk driving charge !!! and the other man who also got out on bail was a 40ish year old man who had a previous charge for assault on a male three months ago to which he was on probation for , he was let out on bail for punching his wife in the nose and breaking it , sending her to the hospital . All of which was done in front of his daughter who was old enough to make a statement which sadden me to hear them read it out

It really makes you wonder , how do they come to a decision to not let out the common thief/addict but let the drunk driver out right at the begining of the holidays and to let out the violent wife beater ?????

I know it sounds like I am rooting for my nephew but really, I would rather some thief on the street than a drunk behind the wheel , and should any man who beats his wife in front of their children be allowed bail at all ????

shockozulu

I wouldn't want any of them out. I don't want the drunk driver out on the roads again in time for the Christmas Party circuit, nor the wife abuser who won't be happy with his present and bonks her again, nor the thief who may hit up my home for drug money on Christmas Eve. I am guessing they got out because those are not property crimes.

Mewoman

As silly as it sounds my nephew would never steal from someones home , he has only ever stolen from stores . He is kinda sentimental about certain things , he was always terrified as a kid of burgulars . He was about four when their house was broken into really bad and he never forgot how scared he was , so he swore he could never do that ?!

BigSis

I'm with Alera.... just as we cannot compare pain or grief, we cannot easily compare the horror of addiction.

When it is happening to us - it is always terrible.

I feared my kids going to jail - getting a record, having that stain .... then I realized that jail taught them a few boundaries they could NOT learn from me! What a wonder... plus, like Mooselips stated in another thread here, some of my best night's sleep were when kids were in jail or rehab...


((hugs))

Mewoman

I really thought that this time he had learned his lesson but I guess he didn't .

I have to say though that after all his years of addiction he was really a changed person for the last few months , He had almost fifteen months clean under his belt . He was really open about alot of his problems and how he was dealing with temptation . One thing that was different was how remorseful he is this time around . He commented on how hard it is to feel things again , that it had been sooo long since he felt real emotions .
I hope this setback doesnt ruin the last year .

mooselips

Mewoman,
I'm not sure how they decide who gets out on bail, and who gets to stay.
I've also sat a whole morning in court a while ago, and heard every story imaginable, and most were let out free and clear, with a slap on the wrist.

As for your nephew. It's good that he has had 15 months clean before this recent episode. I always feel that every time they're clean and sober for a while, they accumulate more tools in their recovery toolbox, and it will help them to get back on the sobriety track faster. At least he has a chance to remember how sober feels.


God bless him, and you.

cece1960

I've heard that several thing can be taken into account, such as whether they have a job, responsibilities etc.
But I agree...we can't gage another's situation, struggle grief etc.
I hope your nephew can get back on track.
No time clean is wasted
(((Hugs)))
Cece