nandm

Step Twelve ~ Part 1: Questions

"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholic and to practice these principles in all our affairs."






Some thoughts to ponder:

1. Why does Step 12 make it clear that we will have a *spiritual* awakening?

2. What was your first spiritual awareness?

3. "I find it interesting that the step says "had." This implies that my spiritual awakening was a one-shot deal, never to be repeated." What do you think about that statement? Do you agree, disagree?

4. What do you hope to experience when *you* spiritually awaken?

nandm

Step Twelve ~ Part 2: Questions


"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs."




Some thoughts for consideration:

1. Step 12 talks about "the message." What do you think the message is?

2. Were you 12th Stepped? How did you respond?

3. Have you tried to 12th Step someone? What was your experience?

4. How do you "carry the message?"

nandm

nandm

geekorunique

Well...I am about to do step 12 with my sponsor and I am reading through my books etc but I am just torn right now.

I split up with someone - it was a relatively new relationship but typical alcoholic me rushed headfirst into it. Fell in love too easily - got hurt too easily. She cheated on me which made me feel worthless and as if I wasn't good enough at all. Broke my heart really.

One of my other coping mechanisms was cutting. I didn't even really want to cut but I did. I told my sponsor and we did talk and work through it. The thing is...do I still do the 12th step? Should I take some time out?

My plan was......90 meetings in 90 days again.....get on with making my amends and do my 12th step....was just interested in other peoples opinions.

Thanks and hope everyone is well over this sometimes troublesome holiday

Pinkcuda

This isn't just any old "Spiritual Awakening" This one comes as a result of these steps. Therefore it shouldn't be confused with your average spiritual awakening.
For instance; if I was at the golf course and lightning struck the tree I was standing next to, I would have a spiritual awakening of sorts. I would think that God had hit that tree instead of me for a reason. Then I would have a drink.
In the book a "Spiritual Awakening" indicates that "A personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms".

#3 Having "Had" instead of "having" to me would be the difference between Recovered and Recovering. It either is or it isn't
#4 What do I hope to experience. I believe it's the reference given in the book that I want. It has happened and others pointed it out to me before I noticed it myself.


Second part! #1 The message? The 12 steps are the message. I carry the message in meetings.
All Big Book quotes are from the First Edition of the Big Book

Alike

1. Step 12 talks about "the message." What do you think the message is?
The Big Book states clearly see to it your relationship with him (God)is right and great events will come to past for you and others - It must be God

2. Were you 12th Stepped? How did you respond?
I was brought to the doors of A.A. and dropped off responded well sober 30 years from that day forward read the Big Book and joined the rest was freely given.

3. Have you tried to 12th Step someone? What was your experience?
Unconditionally introduced many to the doors of A.A. most stayed some got run off.


4. How do you "carry the message?
Out of the love of God rather than the tolerance of people with the understanding of my past that if one is not governed by God they will have to be ruled by others and SHARPLY distinguishing between principles and personalities - so far the personalities are ahead but sooner or later principles will catch up weather celebrated on a chocolate covered cake or a tomb stone sobriety is coming so I learn not to take things so serious
I learned to let Go and let God for he does the real work I just watch, we are examples good or bad
When it comes to alcoholism it does not matter who is right or who is wrong it's about who is left.

Amending the past in the present can only be done by the one who was there and only but for the grace of God - can we see it.

insidejob

I've had a few spiritual awakenings. For me, a spiritual awakening means waking up to the realm of the spirit. The realm of the spirit means the spirit within me, my God-given conscience, the spirit within others, and the spirit of God.

My first awakening was "Wow! There really is a God!!". That happened early in recovery, because something greater than me was and must have been keeping me sober even when I had every intention and desire to drink.

There was another powerful awakening after Step 5. The 12 & 12 promises this, a coming into oneness with God and man.

Unfortunately that awakening was taken away by a breakdown that lasted six months. But after six months it turned from a breakdown to a break-through when I finally surrendered to God without reservation. That was my most powerful awakening, a place of total and utter surrender.

I can and do sometimes go into a spiritual sleep, the opposite of a spiritual awakening. That happened to me very recently. Such periods are always followed by surrender, a return to peace and a greater awakening.

My own thinking on this is that I will awaken and awaken all through my sober life, each awakening bringing me closer and closer to God. The mechanism by which this works in my life is nearly always through pain.

Pain -> Suffering -> Humility -> Surrender -> Spiritual Awakening.

The 12 & 12 puts it like this in Step 8: "In every case, pain had been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price had purchased more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility..."

Carrying the message: For me this is the message that was carried to Bill by his friend, and carried by Bill to Dr. Bob. It's the message of a spiritual solution, which is now expressed in the 12 steps.

I carry the message by how I try to live today (program of attraction), by sharing my ESH at meetings, by doing service, helping a newcomer, sponsoring others and by writing this. The message I try to carry is contained conveniently in the 12 steps; find God (is he lost?), clean house, love others!

insidejob

Ooops! That quote is actually from Step 7, not step 8. Sorry, I'm not long out of bed and haven't even had a physical awakening yet!

Mcribb

The spiritual part in me was to find out that I need to focus on helping other peoples, then my basic needs get met. I also found it spiritual that if I hold in my mind a vision of who I want to be the ways I can become that person appear. There was something greater than me causing things around me to happen. I just have to stay sober and focus on getting better at giving myself to others.

Fernaceman

I like this a lot. Thank you for the bump.

Sapling

For me a complete psychic change...A change in the way I think and live.

The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.

Page 83

Sapling

I went into my first meeting broken and hopeless...The message I received was these steps work...I could see it in the faces of the people there...And in the words I heard....I left there at peace...I had hope. That would be the message for me.

Joe Nerv

I'll have a go at some of the easier questions.

I was 12th stepped by the bathroom attendant in the club I hung out with 2 to 4X a week. I used to give him a ride home and we'd sometimes go grab a bite beforehand. All he would ever say was that he didn't drink, and that he stopped by going to AA. Regarding my drinking he would only tell me that I'll stop when I'm ready to stop. He had something I wanted, but never pushed it on me nor talked about it. He would even buy me drinks. I was in awe of him. He planted a mighty big seed.

I've 12 stepped many people in many different ways. The most memorable 12 steps for me was back in the 80s when it was still common to gather a couple of other guys and take a drunk to the hospital. I got real tight with some of those guys, and the experiences really helped me keep sober. We used to say that if we stayed sober (the people doing the 12 step work) then the experience was 100% succesful. And they were all 100% successful. Now I do 12 stepping differently. Just took a commitment to facilitate a rehab meeting at the local VA hospita. I start the 2nd monday of Jan. Looking forward to it. If anyone is in NY and wants to speak, PM me.

I carry the message by qualifying, sharing at meetings, taking commitments, and being there when anyone reaches out. All to the best of my ability.

jillbedford

I logged on here because I am going through a tough temptation at work. I checked in with my sponsor and some others in the program.
I have not had to take a drink so far.
I have been taking an AA meeting into the local jail, meeting with the women in there. I have been doing this for almost 2 years. One of the prisoners, when released, even despite AA meetings in the jail 3 times a week, and being given plenty of "tools" for recovery, relapsed immediately after release. She had added also some alcohol substitutes. She overdosed and died. This was at Christmas time. I felt I had no business going into the jail anymore, took her death VERY hard. I felt I was not qualified because my own story did not involve drug abuse. I certainly have tried an alcohol substitute or two before, but did not feel in any way addicted to those. I was definitely addicted to alcohol.
One of the police officers met with me, several times outside of the jail, and talked me into returning to the jail and bringing in the AA meetings. I returned in February, 2012.
When I returned, one of my former employees, who I had fired for drug use and theft, was in the AA meeting. We cleared the table so to speak between us. I continued to work with her for the rest of the year. She got released early, but she continued to stay active in the program. All of the program. Service work, sharing, the other legacies, like district meetings, correction committee meetings. She made it her own. Currently she is 13 months sober.
She has restored my belief in the 12 steps. The program works for those that DO it.

So this brings me back to the reason I am here today. I work with many women in the jail. One of the gals we all (including the wardens) had high hopes for also relapsed immediately. She VOP'd due to the drug use, went on the run. I was praying for her every night to get picked up because I could only imagine the amount of alcohol substitutes a person would use after knowing the program, then deciding to NOT work the steps. I know I would be all in. Looks like she was all in too. I see her charges now show possession with intent to sell. I know she is not a drug dealer. I know she had every intention of using all of that herself. Like I said, I am grateful she was caught. Only a matter of time 'til she would be dead too.
There is a lot of laughter in the rooms, but there is a deadly seriousness too. And with good reason.
I was 12 stepped, many, many times. It never took. It was only when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired that I decided to try AA. I was escorted there by my husband, who stayed for the meeting to ensure that I stayed for the meeting. ;-)
To his surprise, and mine too, I got a white chip.
I am one of those weird people who got that white chip at a time when I was really willing to go to any length to stay sober. This is why I am more than happy to drag my sober butt into the jail week after week, month after month, year after year. It took a long time for me to "get it". I am willing to be patient with others. Advantage of working with inmates is there is a built in desperation. Seems to lead to some willingness. ;-)

I am SO very grateful. to not have to drink today.

2granddaughters

Whether someone "gets it" is not up to me, it's up to God.

I think How It Works says it best:

RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Perhaps a spiritual awakening is when I can leave God's work to Him and not feel responsible for what is not mine.

Thank you for your work in the jails Jill. You may never know how many seeds you have planted.

All the best.

Bob R

paul99

That's a wonderful post, Jill. I am currently looking to get into jails and this story seems to give me the inspiration to do it. I have never done time, and the idea of going to a jail is frightening, to say the least, but for some reason I am compelled to do it. You have more than planted a seed for sure - for me! Your love and compassion for those women in the jails is inspiring, and shows how much we can give of ourselves, all thanks to AA and the program.

Thank you for this

jillbedford

Hey there Paul. Having jail as a part of your story or not, is not needed to go into the corrections service work that AA does.
For me, having all the legal stuff behind me made me a better candidate. The police dept. wants AA's who they can trust. The inmates do not need info on how to survive in jail. They need to know how to survive on the outside. I work in the local jail, so these girls are doing less than 2 years time. Most are there 6 months or shorter.
Your local AA should have a corrections meeting on the outside where you can get an application to volunteer in the jail. Also ask questions on what is expected. Seriously, what is expected is reliability and a willingness to "carry the message".
I feel it has COMPLETELY changed my own personal recovery. The obsession to drink is completely gone 99.9% of the time. And that alone is worth the effort to me. Our BB says on page 15 I think that if we are to survive the certain trails ahead nothing works better than work with another alcoholic. I am just paraphrasing. Look it up and check me. ;-)
For me, I have found I have been able to get through the death of my dog (the hardest) the death of my mother-in-law (long story on my reaction to that one) the death of my sponcee, and continue to cope with a less than fulfilling relationship, destroyed by years and years of my drinking. So far, I have not had to take a drink, but I have always stayed active and a regular at the meetings.
For me, just warming a seat does not do it for me, I have to be all in. I certainly was all in with my drinking.

jillbedford

Thanks for your kind reminder about trying to "carry" the drunk through sobriety. My own sponcer tells me the same thing. Maybe I will be able to comfortably let them relapse and die without questioning if I did all I could.
Not so sure if I can. I will 'ask" God to help me with this defect of character.

UncleMeat69

The message I carry is that "There is a Solution" which is to have the urge to drink removed by a Power greater than yourself because despite all your best efforts you can't do it.

If you "are willing to go to any lengths" to get the awakening I will take you through the BB the way it was done for me. That is how I "got it."

The Awakening is a psychic change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism (the urge to drink that alcoholics cannot overcome thru human power).

In short, a miracle is required, and that miracle is derived from working Steps 3 thru 9.
It is maintained by working Steps 10, 11 and 12 on a regular basis. Any thing short of that is "half measures" which "avail us nothing." That is my opinion and the opinion of the BB, 3rd Edition.