First big step
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 1
First big step
Hey everyone. My story is pretty standard to all. I'm 25, been a weekend warrior through college, and the two years after.
I'm just tired of losing all the weekends. Being so tired/hung over that I take 5 hr naps saturday and sunday shoot the whole thing. I also hate the guilt, of knowing I embarrassed myself on occasion, waking up missing credit cards that I left at bars. Not to mention the $$ I'd save. I'm just done.
This is a good week to start too. I have a work holiday party on friday. There will be free booze, and I'll have a ride there and back. It'll be a big step for me, to not give in. I know I can do it!
Saturday is going to be hard. One of my best friends, G, wants to hang out like we always do. This also always involves going to lunch, drinking, sipping throughout the afternoon then binging later that night. I don't know if I should say something like, "Hey I'm not drinking anymore" or just not drink.
Anyone have some experience with friends who drink too, and how to keep the friendship if possible?
I might keep posting on this thread throughout the week, to keep me motivated. (If that makes sense)
I'm just tired of losing all the weekends. Being so tired/hung over that I take 5 hr naps saturday and sunday shoot the whole thing. I also hate the guilt, of knowing I embarrassed myself on occasion, waking up missing credit cards that I left at bars. Not to mention the $$ I'd save. I'm just done.
This is a good week to start too. I have a work holiday party on friday. There will be free booze, and I'll have a ride there and back. It'll be a big step for me, to not give in. I know I can do it!
Saturday is going to be hard. One of my best friends, G, wants to hang out like we always do. This also always involves going to lunch, drinking, sipping throughout the afternoon then binging later that night. I don't know if I should say something like, "Hey I'm not drinking anymore" or just not drink.
Anyone have some experience with friends who drink too, and how to keep the friendship if possible?
I might keep posting on this thread throughout the week, to keep me motivated. (If that makes sense)
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
I'm glad you found us and made the decision to stop drinking.
For me, I absolutely could not be around people who were drinking when I was in early recovery. I just couldn't do it. It also involved making a lot of changes in my life. Recovery is a lot more than just not drinking.
For me, I absolutely could not be around people who were drinking when I was in early recovery. I just couldn't do it. It also involved making a lot of changes in my life. Recovery is a lot more than just not drinking.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Toronto,Ontario
Posts: 1,027
Fallen - my experience tells me that you (a) you'll need to leave the work party early or don't go at all (b) avoid friends/places that remind you of boozing... That's needed in early sobriety.
Like you, I was a warrior in University and continued to party for 5 years after... Alcoholism is progressive, it only gets worse. I defined "functioning alcoholic", on the outside I looked perfect. Great job, great car, great girl... Only those close to me knew of the struggles with booze.
Glad to see you're giving up booze earlier than I did ! Oh man, the money I could have saved, I don't even remember how many times I've lost my bank cards, credit cards, sunglasses, jackets... Well, you get the picture.
Also, check out your local AA - it's full of us ex-party people. www.aa.org
Looking forward to your posts !!
Like you, I was a warrior in University and continued to party for 5 years after... Alcoholism is progressive, it only gets worse. I defined "functioning alcoholic", on the outside I looked perfect. Great job, great car, great girl... Only those close to me knew of the struggles with booze.
Glad to see you're giving up booze earlier than I did ! Oh man, the money I could have saved, I don't even remember how many times I've lost my bank cards, credit cards, sunglasses, jackets... Well, you get the picture.
Also, check out your local AA - it's full of us ex-party people. www.aa.org
Looking forward to your posts !!
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
I quit a month before Christmas, and got right into AA...made lots of meetings and went to every non-drinking function I could, just to avoid all the alcoholic partying. It worked!
Uh, Huh! I was/am one of them!
Also, check out your local AA - it's full of us ex-party people.
member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 20
I am glad you decided to stop.
I haven't been at this too long, but I found just be honest. The first few weeks now have been lonely, but my friends are still in contact with me. I can't be around the drink to long before I start really wanting it so I can't hang out with if they are drinking. As for my "real" friends, they still drink, I am not telling them not to drink, I just can't, won't. They understand. I am sure yours will too.
I haven't been at this too long, but I found just be honest. The first few weeks now have been lonely, but my friends are still in contact with me. I can't be around the drink to long before I start really wanting it so I can't hang out with if they are drinking. As for my "real" friends, they still drink, I am not telling them not to drink, I just can't, won't. They understand. I am sure yours will too.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: San Francisco suburbs
Posts: 119
Hi- I'm also committed to keeping my friendships. I have many friends who drink- a lot, and I hope we can remain friends. I hope they will be supportive and want to be around me even though I'm not drinking. Time will tell.
I, too, have a party tomorrow night. My husband won't be there, as it's industry related, and one of my best friends will be. She and I have drank a lot together over the past many years. I haven't told her yet that I quit- mainly because I don't want to appear preachy. I think our friendship is strong enough to withstand this change in me and in our relationship.
I, too, have a party tomorrow night. My husband won't be there, as it's industry related, and one of my best friends will be. She and I have drank a lot together over the past many years. I haven't told her yet that I quit- mainly because I don't want to appear preachy. I think our friendship is strong enough to withstand this change in me and in our relationship.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 150
Fallen, I have been where you are. I started my habit drinking in my college years and into my 20s. I'm 31 now. I was actually a designated driver recently for the first time, probably ever, last Saturday. And I was so proud! I felt great to just tell myself, "NO, you CANNOT drive drunk. You are responsible!" At one point I even considered having "just one beer" but realized that would be a severe compromise of my goal. I think it's possible to remain friends... it's just a matter of having the appropriate support system to support YOUR sobriety. If your friends pressure you to drink knowing you're sobering up, maybe it's time for a break from them for the time being, then check back later and see if it goes all right.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I too hung out with drunks and drinkers when I drank. Made me fit right in!
Most of them drifted away as our common bond
centered around drinking. We were mutually bored
by each other.
These days I prefer non drinkers as we share
the same goals and lifestyles.
We also have a blast without alcohol.
Welcome to SR!
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