I Really Need Someone to Talk To
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: FL
Posts: 5
I Really Need Someone to Talk To
Hello, This is my first time posting on here.. I'm desperate today to find a friend or anyone out there that can be there for me. I am an adult child of an alcoholic and married to a weed addict. I know that I am a codependent and I have been going to Al-Anon on and off for the past year. Al-Anon has helped me tremendously but days like today I am so in a rut that I need more help than that.
I made the stupid decision today to explain to my husband that I don't trust him to take our 8 month old baby out by himself since he can be very irresponsible and so self-centered that he ignores her needs. This was all in response to him telling me I didn't have to go to the grocery store with them. Well this started an argument and at one point he is holding my daughter and yelling at me, so I tried to put my hand over his mouth to shush him before she starts crying. But of course, I have a history of violence with him in the not too distant past, so he grabs my arm so hard and shoves me away. I was in shock and in pain... my first response was to call the police but he snatched the phone. Then he promptly his all his weed and pipes in case the cops did come, which they didn't.
We haven't talked since. He packed some things and left. He's probably off to his parents' house since they are about an hour away. Here I am left at home with the baby, no car, a ton of work to do and no help... and most of all, an emotional wreck.
We just moved here a few weeks ago and I really don't have any friends here yet. I have met a few people in Al-Anon but I am so scared to pick up the phone to call them only to cry uncontrollably in their ears, while they wonder who I am. I wish I had a sponsor... but I have been stuck on the decision of who to ask and too afraid anyways. I don't want to call my mom or my sister cause they will tell me to come home to their house... which both are a long way away and I can't afford the plane ticket.
I really do want to pack up and just go home but I have a hard time making decisions (so codependent!) and I don't know if it's the right thing to do. I afraid to give up on my marriage and regret it.
Help: anyone with a comforting word and a shoulder to cry on please write me cause I'm sitting her holding the phone and I don't want to call any of my few options.
I made the stupid decision today to explain to my husband that I don't trust him to take our 8 month old baby out by himself since he can be very irresponsible and so self-centered that he ignores her needs. This was all in response to him telling me I didn't have to go to the grocery store with them. Well this started an argument and at one point he is holding my daughter and yelling at me, so I tried to put my hand over his mouth to shush him before she starts crying. But of course, I have a history of violence with him in the not too distant past, so he grabs my arm so hard and shoves me away. I was in shock and in pain... my first response was to call the police but he snatched the phone. Then he promptly his all his weed and pipes in case the cops did come, which they didn't.
We haven't talked since. He packed some things and left. He's probably off to his parents' house since they are about an hour away. Here I am left at home with the baby, no car, a ton of work to do and no help... and most of all, an emotional wreck.
We just moved here a few weeks ago and I really don't have any friends here yet. I have met a few people in Al-Anon but I am so scared to pick up the phone to call them only to cry uncontrollably in their ears, while they wonder who I am. I wish I had a sponsor... but I have been stuck on the decision of who to ask and too afraid anyways. I don't want to call my mom or my sister cause they will tell me to come home to their house... which both are a long way away and I can't afford the plane ticket.
I really do want to pack up and just go home but I have a hard time making decisions (so codependent!) and I don't know if it's the right thing to do. I afraid to give up on my marriage and regret it.
Help: anyone with a comforting word and a shoulder to cry on please write me cause I'm sitting her holding the phone and I don't want to call any of my few options.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Oh sweetie, call someone from your alanon group. Don't let his disease isolate you also. They give you the list for a reason, you know? I doubt they will sit there and wonder who you are. You did the right thing. You and your baby come first.
I wanted to give you a quick welcome to SR, others will be around shortly, I'm glad you found your way here, you are in a great group.
I wanted to give you a quick welcome to SR, others will be around shortly, I'm glad you found your way here, you are in a great group.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Welcome (((HMA)))
I agree...make the calls. No one can help you if they don't know you need it.
Isn't that so kind of us codies to not want to bother someone - even a support group - with our problems?
Today is a bad day, tomorrow can be brighter.
Stick around, there's some great folk here you'd love
(((Hugs)))
Cece
I agree...make the calls. No one can help you if they don't know you need it.
Isn't that so kind of us codies to not want to bother someone - even a support group - with our problems?
Today is a bad day, tomorrow can be brighter.
Stick around, there's some great folk here you'd love
(((Hugs)))
Cece
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: FL
Posts: 5
Thanks guys for your words of wisdom. I still haven't picked up the phone and called anyone.... I don't even know what to say. My husband came back home a little while ago, left the car for me, got a cab and left again. I told him he didn't have to leave cause I would go to my mom's house (overseas) and he basically freaked out and said he's not letting me take our daughter out the country without him.
I've been sitting here reading my Al-Anon books (of course I'm supposed to be working - I work from home) and wondering how I'm gonna take care of the baby by myself and work full time.
AHHHHHHHH!!!!
I've been sitting here reading my Al-Anon books (of course I'm supposed to be working - I work from home) and wondering how I'm gonna take care of the baby by myself and work full time.
AHHHHHHHH!!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 471
(((((((HMA))))))) Don't overwhelm yourself, you have enough to deal with! Take it one day at a time, one step at a time.
Please call someone from your Ala-non group. They understand, and they are there for you when you need them.
Please come here often. We've all been where you are, with minor variations on the details. We're here for you whenever you need us.
I'll be sending up prayers for you.
Please call someone from your Ala-non group. They understand, and they are there for you when you need them.
Please come here often. We've all been where you are, with minor variations on the details. We're here for you whenever you need us.
I'll be sending up prayers for you.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Help-Me-AlAnon,
Welcome to SoberRecovery, glad you found us.
I'm glad your AH brought the car back for you to use, that was somewhat thoughtful of him.
I think, in your case, you need to reach out and not be hesitant to call someone in your Alanon group. That's what we attend meetings, and we're all here to listen and give support.
From the way you have stated your problem, it sounds like you have been through this before.
It's all going to be okay, take a deep breath, an hold on....
Give that baby a hug for me,
Welcome to SoberRecovery, glad you found us.
I'm glad your AH brought the car back for you to use, that was somewhat thoughtful of him.
I think, in your case, you need to reach out and not be hesitant to call someone in your Alanon group. That's what we attend meetings, and we're all here to listen and give support.
From the way you have stated your problem, it sounds like you have been through this before.
It's all going to be okay, take a deep breath, an hold on....
Give that baby a hug for me,
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Stay in "today".
Keep reading.
Make that Alanon call.
My sponsor tells me that someone NEEDS to hear from you. Someone will learn from that call... don't deprive them of the opportunity to pay back what they have received.
I wish you well.
Keep reading.
Make that Alanon call.
My sponsor tells me that someone NEEDS to hear from you. Someone will learn from that call... don't deprive them of the opportunity to pay back what they have received.
I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
You sound overwhelmed right now. That's your disease telling you nothing is OK and you'll never be able to handle it. As a matter of fact, you already are handling it, by reaching out and asking for help. Your higher power didn't bring you this far just to drop you like a hot potato. So relax, and just do the next right thing (which, with an 8 month old, will probably become apparent in the next 5 minutes), and keep your head where your feet are!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: on top of the hill
Posts: 197
Help,
Hope you're hangin in there. girl! Please let us know how you are, don't ever be afraid to come here, you'll never find a more caring site!! A small baby can be a challenge, but also a tremendous blessing and comfort. Snuggle up with that little one, and take good care of you both.
((( Hugs )))
Hope you're hangin in there. girl! Please let us know how you are, don't ever be afraid to come here, you'll never find a more caring site!! A small baby can be a challenge, but also a tremendous blessing and comfort. Snuggle up with that little one, and take good care of you both.
((( Hugs )))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: FL
Posts: 5
Doing a lot better thanks. Called some Al-Anon people and a friend, and heard some words of wisdom. I called him and apologized for my part in this whole stupid argument and I think he will come home tonight or tomorrow. And the best part is he wasn't even high when I talked to him :-)
Thanks guys!
Thanks guys!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i feel your pain & i am glad you called someone. it does not matter if the alonon group does not know you. they are there to help you & so are we. above all, keep yourself & the baby safe. welcome to S.R. keep coming back. we care.prayers for you & your husband. hugs,
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