briliantdisguis

you know i was so sad that it had to end at christmas time and with my birthday early in january. We had a trip to the city planned and we were trying to fix this and make everything ok. but you know, it wont ever be ok because he cant fix himself.

Now i realize that right before christmas is the perfect time to end this. will i be lonely, god yes but i can worry about me and i can be truly happy on christmas. too bad i made him an ornament... all i can do is send the gift with a card and then work on my happiness. i dont really know how to do this. it feels strange to do things just for me. it feels odd to be able to do this without feeling guilty or wrong.

i am more and more confident that i made the right decision and i did it when i was ready to move on. i am ready now. i really am.

good_luck

"I'll never be what I think I am?"

Why is that the funniest/saddest thing ever? It sounds like something my ex would say to hook me back in...be careful!

Anyway, I think it is probably just supposed to make you sad for poor him.

Surprise!

Congrats on the moving on! That is an awesome gift to give yourself!

Barbara52

Wow. That could be my AH's words, if he were honest with himself.

My AH is living in a wonderful fantasy land where he is a caring loving father and soon to be famous poet. He's got his own litle fan club on the writing web site he "publishes" his work. He truly seem to think that some day he'll be famous for his work and be rolling in money and women. That he is a loving wonderful gentleman abused by his evil soon to be ex wife (me) and deserving of the love and admiration of everyone.

But, if he were in touch with the realities of his life, he would have to say I'll never be what I think I am. He is unwilling to look inward and see himself as he is now and to move into recovery. And that will prevent him for ever actually being the persona he presents to the world. I find it so sad that he is blocking his own potential.

FormerDoormat

Sounds like a good title for an alkie poem. :beerchug:

NoChoice

Oh yeah, I can relate to this too. Now I know he called drunk...one would think that being an alkie myself I would be able to tell if someone was drunk straight away...oh no....I couldn't, still can't tell when people are drunk. I left him in the begining of Dec last year. I think it is funny that I put so much emphasis on giving him a gift. I did, I was all worried about a gift for the guy that I was leaving, the guy that caused me so much pain and hurt and painted such a different picture for our future that the life I lived there. I totally understand the gift thing. You gotta go with your gut. Take care.

cooper

¨I will never be what i think i am¨ I can only assume that he thinks he is much more than he really is and will never live up to his own image of himself or his desire. He lets him self down??? Just an idea but he has to work it out. Good luck and have a great Christmas treat yourself to something very special.:day4