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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
That is true, but I think you are getting it now. He will not change until he is ready and it does not seem like he is willing to admit anything.
You took your vows for better or worse, but he is not doing anything to help either of you. He might never say the words you want to hear.
So you have to figure out what is best for you
You took your vows for better or worse, but he is not doing anything to help either of you. He might never say the words you want to hear.
So you have to figure out what is best for you
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
What you wrote makes absolute sense...there ya go.
I guess I would also add that I see a difference between being selfish and exercising self care. That took me awhile...I would feel guilty that I was being selfish when I stopped enabling/shieelding/protecting. But I have come to realize it wasn't. And to me, acting in your own best interests and protecting your children when your husband will not own his own stuff doesn't seem selfish...it is loving yourself enough to not accept the unacceptable. Hugs.
I guess I would also add that I see a difference between being selfish and exercising self care. That took me awhile...I would feel guilty that I was being selfish when I stopped enabling/shieelding/protecting. But I have come to realize it wasn't. And to me, acting in your own best interests and protecting your children when your husband will not own his own stuff doesn't seem selfish...it is loving yourself enough to not accept the unacceptable. Hugs.
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