tears_i_cry

I am close to my wits' end.
Seriously, I am wondering whether we should even resort to telling the police about all the drugs our daughter carries around, and let her go to jail.
I know nothing about jail except what I have seen on TV shows. I presume people cannot get hold of drugs in there, and that it would force an addict to go through withdrawal? Wouldn't this be a GOOD thing? I don't know, am I just going crazy even to think of doing such an unspeakably harsh thing? Is my anguish making me irrational?

Miss Pink

Hi Tears-

What I have learned is to not cause a crisis, but to let the natural consequences of the addict to occur as they occur.

In other words....I dont "set them up" with a call to the police unless it is justified. If I am being threatened in any manner, I will absolutely call the police and inform them a drug addict has made threats, explain their history and let the outcome be what its supposed to be.

If the drugs are being sold or stashed in your house, and she refuses to remove them, that might be justification to call the police. I just know that when I have "planned" things to do against the addict to get them to "wake up and get sober", its NEVER worked.

In jail, yes they can get drugs, obviously not as easy as on the streets, but they can get them. That being said, getting drugs doesnt make the incarceration fun and thrilling.

Have you tried alanon or naranon, its for families of addicts/alcoholics. Offers a world of hope and help.

goldenguru

Hi tears ~

What other things has your daughter/your family tried?

Ever done any rehab (inpatient or outpatient?).

How old is your daughter?

As far as drugs in the penal system - they exist. It is just a matter of finding the 'currency' to purchase them behind bars. Sad to say - but it is truth.

marle

I agree with Miss Pink. Forcing consequences has never worked for me either. A lot of times the police won't deal with someone using. They would rather go after the bigger fish. But I was told that if I ever found drugs or paraphenalia in my daughter's apartment, I could call and they would come and arrest her. That never happened. But if you find something inside your home, by all means call and see. Hugs, Marle

splendra

keep the focus on yourself and your hands off the addict. the less you try to work a solution for her the more likely she will see what she is doing....

.....unless your daughter is a minor then it is up to you to take charge. If she is of age protect yourself how ever you can.

Taking5

Some people sober up after doing jail time. Some sober up before it gets that far. Sadly, many NEVER sober up, they just die.

You didn't cause this and you can't control it. If your next door neighbor, a co-worker or friend was doing the same things as your AD, would you call the cops on them? If the answer is Yes, then by all means call the cops. If not, then don't.

But please realize this may no have any effect on her using.

hope213

keep the focus on you & what you can do to make your day work.let it fall where it falls with your daughter.do something good for yourself.prayers,

swmnkdinthervr

Jail in rare cases such as several stints behind bars may at some point have the desired effect but not because you or anyone else put them there. The more likely scenario is that jail will offer a long enough break to get healthy again, (1st time offenders and non-violet offenders rarely serve much time) you would also be likely to create a wall built of bitterness and resentment thereby losing all communication. My youngest son is in recovery...the only force that got him to recovery was self discovery, albeit with planted tidbits of info from dad...


I know this can be really heart wrenching...I'm sorry for your pain but I hope through love and support your celebration will be soon in coming!

Lobo

My daughter was in jail 3 times and everytime she came out she started back up with her habit. Her jail stints were short but none the less they were scarey. This last time she did begin to turn things around. I don't think you can scare a drug user into quitting. My daughter has been through 3 rehabs also. I am not saying that rehab didn't help. I think she learned a lot there. As for her being cured..NO.
The only one that can fix an addict is the addict themselves. I would not put up with drugs in my home or if she was breaking the law, or hurting me. I would definetly call the police on her. I have done that. Did it cure her....NO. Did it scare her.....YES at the time. Did it get her to thinking.....MAYBE. Did it create a lot of chaos for both of us....YES. Did she get the message that I will no longer tolerate her bad behavior.....definetly YES.

My daughter is sober today because she wants to be. She did it on her own and in her own time.
Do what you have to do according to the situation. Don't tolerate her bad behavior, it is never okay.

Hugs...........Lo

mooselips

Tears,
I agree with not causing anything to happen.
For a long time, I got inbetween my sons and their H.P. and attempted to stop their downward spirals, which I think stopped them from hitting their bottom sooner.


Actually, and unfortunately, it will not stop until she is ready.

Unless she is underage, then you may be able to get her into a rehab.


Hugs, from one mom to another...

bookmiser

(((((Tears))))))

My son robbed my house 2 years ago.
He spent 6 months in jail. Kicked his heroin addict.
Is he clean? Recovering?
Nope. He still smokes pot, but he also has "grown" mentally, emotionally, and is seeing a therapist/psychiatrist for bi-polar disorder.
Believe it or not...jail is a welcome relief when you go to bed at night wondering if the police are going to come to your door and tell you your child is dead from an overdose.
Hugs,

Wascally Wabbit

Miss pink sure said it right. Let them fall on their own.
Just don't allow yourself to fall with them. Having drugs in your house can land YOU in jail. So, do what you need to do to keep them out.

I have to say that my oldest son was on probation and broke it by not showing up at the probies office clean. SHe took him in immediately. He dried out and is now 6 months clean. It worked for him. He's in a halfway house right now doing pretty good. I never know how long it will last, but I can only hope for one day at a time.

tiburon88

Yeah you can get drugs in jail/prison. It just costs a heck of a lot more. I've been told that you can't "scare" a addict into recovery.

nytepassion

Addicts are not logical .. (Addict thinking is) I went to jail because YOU turned me in ... the fact that she is using and carrying around drugs will fall away in the shadows of her addiction ...

You can indeed get drugs in jail... I use to be in prison ministry and I know plenty of people who used while behind the walls.

If she is bringing drugs into your home when you've asked her not to you have every right to call the police if you so choose ...however, try not to get your hopes up to high that it will cause your daughter to get clean, but rather expect her to be pi$$ed beyond belief ... She won't see the heart behind the reason you turned her in and you'll just be labeled a snitch/cop caller.

My view of addicts behind bars is that it is just a pause in their addiction and the majority pick up where they left off when they get out.

Passion