elzstar

The bottom line is, I have to quit drinking. There have been quite a few times now where I find myself very sick or completely incapacitated by my drinking. Most recently, my mother had to come pick me up from he driveway i was laying in puking. The only problem is, despite all the problems I've had with drinking, I'm not sure I want to quit. I'm young, and I have my whole life ahead of me to control my drinking, I just don't want to spend my whole life watching my drinking get worse. Also, drinking was a habbit I picked up when I quit smoking pot. First it was vodka, straight, almost all the time, now it's beer. But after two months, I've also started smoking pot again. I've seen a therapist about my alcohol use (abuse) and that didn't work. I suppose I'm just looking for some support from someone who really understands, it's a problem even if I don't want to admit that it is.

Ugh, help. I feel scatter-brained.

ANGELINA243

Welcome! Glad you are here. You are in the right place--if you want help. I needed to get sober for a long time--now I want it more than anything! I hope you find what you are looking for--but there won't always be another chance (after another chance) if you drink anything like what I did. I sure hope that you won't have to go through some of the bad stuff that I went through to finally admit to myself( first and foremost) that I am an alcoholic and truly wanted help. Good luck!

Anna

Hi Elzstar,

Welcome!

I think all of would have like to have controlled our drinking and probably tried for a long time to control it. I know I did, I was determined. Of course, it didn't work for very long, and it won't if you're an alcoholic. What I will say is, if you want to stop drinking, you will need to really want it. It's hard work, but very worthwhile!

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

HI and welcome!

It sounds like you have tried to control your drinking, doesn't sound like that's working out for you. Angelina was correct in saying that you have to want to stop.

I knew for a long time that I had problems with drinking. Unfortunately, I waited until I was 42 to actually do something about it. By that time, I had been through two marriages, lost a job, almost lost my home. I hope that things for you don't get to that point..

Read the posts here...only you can decide if sobriety is something that you really want. If you do want that, there is a lot of good strong recovery here at SR. We can help.!

I wish you luck in whatever you decide..

Karen

Justme57

Hello to you !
Welcome to SR!

Your post brings back so many memories !

I tried to control my drinking for 37 ears , and it never worked for me .
it took the cops throwing mre , a 57 year old woman, drunk onto my front lawn. Torn tee shirt , red wine lips , red wine all down my front, and bare feet . I live on a very busy road, and have no fence , and there I lay . Lower than a snakes belly

I am Blessed because this gave me the gift of desperation, and I rang AA.

i have lost my only son, and my 2 grandbabies because of this disease .

i now have 4 years sober, and what a blessing it is , not to have to fight each day with the battle in my head ............. serenity is a wonderful thing , and can be yours if you are willing to go to any lengths. Dont leave it til you are older , do it now , and dont waste what can be an amazing life

I wish you well

HUGX
Leigh

Change4life

Welcome to SR.

I bounced back and forth between pot and booze for the longest time and then I started getting into stronger crap. My life is now completely f'd up.

You should really stop now. If you think you have a problem dont put it off. It only gets harder as time goes on.

Good luck to you, and keep posting.

SaTiT

Yes, it's the usual most people that needs to stop drinking
don't want to stop drinking.

it's beyound the drinking and the druging..it's the crazy life style...
so you think...Ohhhh f**&^&k..lol i don't wanna go to AA and hang
out with a bonch of old people
So you think...What kind of boring life is that going to be ?
Of course you're not going to want it.

mmm when you get to the piont of it dosen't work anymore.
i can't really explain it to you...when you get there, you'll know.lol

it's not a garantee that you'll live to have that conclusion.
Some conclusion is all conclusive...you know what i'm saying ?

CarolD

Hi.....
I doubt anyone has a productive positive life where
smloking pot and being drunk is what they desire.

Be prepared for that to become full time.

Welcoem to SR!

Missymae737

Welcome to SR...

There is hope in recovery...

Keep posting, I am glad you found us...:comfort

Captain Kirk

Hi Elz!
Welcome! The people here have allot of moral support and good advice to give.
I guess the first step you need to take in order to get better is to admit you have a problem with alcohol.
Let us know how you're doing.
Take care.

skunkape

Drinking and Drugging is like a carnival ride with loose wheels and bolts, you may survive for a little while, but someday that whole damn ride is gonna come apart with you screaming as it flies off the track and you're gonna get seriously hurt or killed, either way you're not going to like the ride. The good news is you can get off now. Keep on posting!

Emimily

hey elz... i know what you mean. i'm young too. i once asked my mom (who's also in recovery) whether i'd hopped off the drunk train too quick, and she said "well, would you rather've waited until it derails?"

there are a lot of yets as part of my story... haven't gotten a DUI, yet... haven't physically attacked someone, yet... haven't been attacked, yet... and i say yet because that's how i drank. i drank and did drugs the way i thought everyone should-in mass quantities. because for me, there was no other point. i just wanted to not be me for a while, being me was too hard.

so, because i'm young and i need friends and people and a social life, i went to AA meetings. i quit drinking, i quit smoking pot, and i started to grow. it wasn't easy, it hurt crazy bad, but seeing where i am now vs. where i was then is miraculous. i can't do this alone, i'd be dead. but, with the big guy and help from my AA family, i have a life worth living now... and a pretty effin good one. i am not a glum kid, i'm not dull or sullen, i have adventures and get out of myself, help people, hang out with smart, funny, cool kids who have some of the best stories i've ever heard (from getting arrested in other countries to flipping cars over and running the wrong direction... good stuff) that rock with me in sobriety, and above all i'm still growing. and, i'm happy about that.

so, if i were you, i'd think seriously about hopping off the train before it derails. if you try to stop, and can't, and need help-ask. and if you're not an alcoholic, then you should be able to stop when you want, if you want.

much much love, i've stood in your shoes, and i get where you're at. good luck.

Dragonfly821

Hi -

I was 13 when I started smoking pot and drinking. I was pretty hardcore by the time I was 16 . Two abortions, an ahole boyfriend, dead mom, and a seriously homeless messed up life later I was alone and face to face with sobriety. Unfortunately or fortunatley (depends on how you see it) I had to sober up. I was THE life of the party. Trust me. I had the party house, I had all the hookups - you name it. So I understand the feeling of not wanting to leave the "Life".

But had my life not come to such an abrupt disaster would I have quit then? I do not know.

At 26, so many years later I found the wonder of pills (not). Something deep inside missed that "party" life and the memories of how bad it got were amiss in me. I may have started out using for a legitimate reason and getting them from a doc and not off the street but in the end I turned out to be your every day junkie so who cares.


The bottom line is you have to hit your own bottom. Period. I have had to get there both times on my own. Luckily I saw myself falling apart way before disasters struck this last time, but that is partialy because I began to remember how awful it had been the first time.

When you've had enough, that will be it.

CarolD

I just shared this and I think you too could benefit from it

Empty Cartridge

If I had quit at a young age:

1. I would not have wasted thousands and thousands of dollars on booze.
2. I would be married (one relationship....down the drain because I was either drunk or hung over. She stuck by me, but I was always angry and forced her away)
3. I would not have lost at least two jobs from hangovers, suspicion, and my employees constantly complaining of the smell of booze on my breath and body.
4. I would not have risked my own life and others by driving while wasted (very, very fortunate not to have hurt anyone).
5. I would have taken better care of myself, as I am doing now, to make myself more sociable, even-tempered, and attractive. Even after just 20 days, I look so much better than I did.
6. I would not have had to lie, keep my ugly little secret, and waste so much of my life either planning to get drunk, getting drunk, or recovering from being drunk.
7. I would not have had to resort to medical intervention to recover from malnutrition, destruction of my internal organs, and being asked, all the time, "Did you get sunburned?" "Uhhhhh....sure. A sunburn. That's it." It was the booze jacking up my blood pressure and causing an obvious and embarassing redness in my face, not to mention breaking out...in my mid thirties.
8. I would have spent more time with my family on holidays, instead of cutting conversations short so I could go to the bar to get wasted. I would actually know who the hell my nieces and nephews are.

These are just a few of the many, many affects that happened, over time. In college, we just said "That's college." Unfortunately for me, college never stopped...until now.

Catch it and treat it as early as you can and you will save yourself years, decades of regret.

Empty Cartridge

CarolD, I would not have had the determination to quit without that book.