hadenoughnow

This is probably the toughest area for me. I am a "fixer", it is tough for me to admit that my AH and I are both powerless over his addiction.

I am making progress though, my AH sleepwalks (real sleepwalking not just the drunk kind, he actually does it more when he drinks less!). Last night at 12:00 am he climbed out of bed went into the bathroom and turned the shower on and started going through the motions of getting ready for work. Instead of jumping out of bed and shutting the shower off, putting everything away and guiding him back to bed I simply told him to shut the shower off (he woke up and realized what he was doing).

He has Monday's off so he was at home today, I called him and he immediately started complaining about everything (me waking him up last night, no good movies on TV today, his shoulder hurts etc). I normally would react and tell him that maybe if he was not hungover every day life would be better. Instead I simply said "well you have some things to deal with so I will let you go now" and hung up.

Barbara52

Good for you! Sounds like you handled both situations just the way you should to "fix" your own reactions.

denny57

Yes, relief came for me when I started giving back to AH, and others, what was theirs.

I like the topic of powerlessness. I had a lot of trouble with it. Until I finally got I was powerless over, not lacking power. It's very empowering LOL!