sister still out--update
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: phoenix arizona
Posts: 741
sister still out--update
Well, my sister is still out of the house with the bf.
She told my parents she wants to do things her way, which to me means she is not ready to get clean again and stay that way. She's addicted to the bf as much as the drugs. She asked my parents for money, my dad said no, when she's ready to receive help, they will provide her with food and shelter, but she can't bring the bf and she'll need to go to the intake/rehab appt. that she didn't go to last weekend.
Of course, she didn't like that answer and wants to do things her way. I guess it must not be that bad, yet. She calls every couple of days.
In the meantime, my parents have the temporary guardianship papers to fill out regarding my niece. My niece's dad knows about everything now (he's out of state) and so do his parents. My parents have support all around and the situation is out in the open now. They are sticking to the boundaries even though as a parent that's the hardest thing to do.
My concern is for my niece and any effects this might have on her in the future.
As for me, I had a little breakdown and posted in the other forum. It's hard to be the strength all of the time for the family. I'm trying to detach more and more. My parents have so much stress and strain right now, so it's hard for me to not rush over there and try to help with my niece. I do here and there when I can. They keep telling me to live my life and do things I want to after work. It's just a hard situation when there's a child involved.
She told my parents she wants to do things her way, which to me means she is not ready to get clean again and stay that way. She's addicted to the bf as much as the drugs. She asked my parents for money, my dad said no, when she's ready to receive help, they will provide her with food and shelter, but she can't bring the bf and she'll need to go to the intake/rehab appt. that she didn't go to last weekend.
Of course, she didn't like that answer and wants to do things her way. I guess it must not be that bad, yet. She calls every couple of days.
In the meantime, my parents have the temporary guardianship papers to fill out regarding my niece. My niece's dad knows about everything now (he's out of state) and so do his parents. My parents have support all around and the situation is out in the open now. They are sticking to the boundaries even though as a parent that's the hardest thing to do.
My concern is for my niece and any effects this might have on her in the future.
As for me, I had a little breakdown and posted in the other forum. It's hard to be the strength all of the time for the family. I'm trying to detach more and more. My parents have so much stress and strain right now, so it's hard for me to not rush over there and try to help with my niece. I do here and there when I can. They keep telling me to live my life and do things I want to after work. It's just a hard situation when there's a child involved.
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
((aztchr))
If you really want to help them then take it from a mom, go out there and live your life and do fun things after work. Why? Because with all they have going on, I'm sure they are just as worried about you. Yes it's great to help every now and then, and it sure shows your a very responsible caring person, but if I were your parent, it would give me great relief to know that at least your life wasn't on hold, one less thing to worry about.
As far as your neice goes, it sounds like she has a whole family that love and care about her, including you. She has a stable home and some wonderful examples. All the worry in the world will not change any of it.
Sending Hugs and Prayers
B
If you really want to help them then take it from a mom, go out there and live your life and do fun things after work. Why? Because with all they have going on, I'm sure they are just as worried about you. Yes it's great to help every now and then, and it sure shows your a very responsible caring person, but if I were your parent, it would give me great relief to know that at least your life wasn't on hold, one less thing to worry about.
As far as your neice goes, it sounds like she has a whole family that love and care about her, including you. She has a stable home and some wonderful examples. All the worry in the world will not change any of it.
Sending Hugs and Prayers
B
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
((aztchr))
Please listen to your mom and go on living your life. I am a mother of an addict, and I know the worry I had/have about my son. It is hard to let go of a child and let them do whatever they are doing, even when you know it is wrong, you just want to fix it. You are a caring daughter to want to help your parents. If you want to help them with your niece, take her for an afternoon or early evening and let your parents go out to eat by themselves, and do something special for your niece. She knows that all of you love her and that she is safe. Just tell her that her mom is sick and that you pray she gets the help she needs.
Sending you hugs,
Please listen to your mom and go on living your life. I am a mother of an addict, and I know the worry I had/have about my son. It is hard to let go of a child and let them do whatever they are doing, even when you know it is wrong, you just want to fix it. You are a caring daughter to want to help your parents. If you want to help them with your niece, take her for an afternoon or early evening and let your parents go out to eat by themselves, and do something special for your niece. She knows that all of you love her and that she is safe. Just tell her that her mom is sick and that you pray she gets the help she needs.
Sending you hugs,
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
If your folks are anything like me, the best thing you can do to help them is help you....I can't help but worry when my child is going through a rough patch and it helps me feel less stress when I know she is living her life doing what she needs to and wants to do. I'm sorry your sister isn't ready yet and glad that eveyrthing is in the open and your folks are looking after your niece. Hang in there, we're here any time you want to chat. Hugs and prayers
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