Yes? No? Maybe so?
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
Yes? No? Maybe so?
You've heard it said of the drug addict/alcoholic "once an addict .. always an addict"
Well then if we are addicted to the addict - then that makes us addicts too ... so then it would be safe to say, "once an addict always an addict" applies to us as well as to our addicted loved one ...
The recovering addict has to feed his/her recovery .. stay in it and work the steps, use the tools .. to become complacent can be detrimental to our recovery.
Point is ... Never take your recovery for granted .. stay on top of it .. and keep feeding it ... You never know when the substance abuser will relapse and if you've gotten relaxed .. it will take you off guard and can knock your feet from underneath you .. and you will relapse right along with them ... Remember you are an addict and once an addict .. always an addict.
Passion
Well then if we are addicted to the addict - then that makes us addicts too ... so then it would be safe to say, "once an addict always an addict" applies to us as well as to our addicted loved one ...
The recovering addict has to feed his/her recovery .. stay in it and work the steps, use the tools .. to become complacent can be detrimental to our recovery.
Point is ... Never take your recovery for granted .. stay on top of it .. and keep feeding it ... You never know when the substance abuser will relapse and if you've gotten relaxed .. it will take you off guard and can knock your feet from underneath you .. and you will relapse right along with them ... Remember you are an addict and once an addict .. always an addict.
Passion
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: here and now
Posts: 1,291
Very very true...when i realized that my addict was like my drug..it was a revelation to me-because I realized that my behavior with regard to him is in many ways like his behavior when it comes to his drug ....
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Nyte,
Good reminder. I've heard it said at our meetings that we never graduate. And I've heard folks at open AA/NA meetings say that the highest position you ever hold in that program is clean or sober. But one can never stop working their program.
I have an Al Anon mom friend who said that when she heard she would need to do meetings and work the program the rest of her life she was SO relieved. People looked at her like she was crazy. Then she explained that she was so relieved that she didn't have to "get" the program in 6 week or 3 months or graduate in 4 years, that she could take her time. She didn't have to go at anyone else's pace but her own.
I think she has a wonderful way of looking at recovery! I just know I want to keep working at it because I NEVER want to go back to the old way I was living and thinking. I was miserable in that stinkin' thinkin'! So here's to recovery and working it the rest of my life. It's a pleasure!
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Good reminder. I've heard it said at our meetings that we never graduate. And I've heard folks at open AA/NA meetings say that the highest position you ever hold in that program is clean or sober. But one can never stop working their program.
I have an Al Anon mom friend who said that when she heard she would need to do meetings and work the program the rest of her life she was SO relieved. People looked at her like she was crazy. Then she explained that she was so relieved that she didn't have to "get" the program in 6 week or 3 months or graduate in 4 years, that she could take her time. She didn't have to go at anyone else's pace but her own.
I think she has a wonderful way of looking at recovery! I just know I want to keep working at it because I NEVER want to go back to the old way I was living and thinking. I was miserable in that stinkin' thinkin'! So here's to recovery and working it the rest of my life. It's a pleasure!
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
I so know this after having two addicts/alcoholics in my life.
And from this I have vowed to stay alone forever before ever sharing my life again iwth an addict.
Of course, when I started the life sharing thing with both of these guys I did not know they were addicts.. that came out later.
So, my vow to not walk that road again is only as good as my knowledge of whether or not they are addicts.
And from this I have vowed to stay alone forever before ever sharing my life again iwth an addict.
Of course, when I started the life sharing thing with both of these guys I did not know they were addicts.. that came out later.
So, my vow to not walk that road again is only as good as my knowledge of whether or not they are addicts.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
One of the addicts in my group always says the codies are "sicker than the addicts". I believe him, and finally realized how sick I was! My daughter truly became my obsession, my addiction. Letting go was the hardest things I have ever done in my life!
susan
susan
Sunny Side Up
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
Not for me. Im not addicted to this crap anymore. I did it for years with my son and a sister.
Ive had it up to here!!!!!!! I know what you are saying though, that the trap door is always there. I think Ive become so strong and over it, my tolerance level has been shot to pieces.
Nope Im going to survive this.:codiepolice
Ive had it up to here!!!!!!! I know what you are saying though, that the trap door is always there. I think Ive become so strong and over it, my tolerance level has been shot to pieces.
Nope Im going to survive this.:codiepolice
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I believe my codependency began as a child, when I tried to save my dying father and couldn't understand (at the age of 6) why he still died when I loved him so much and took such good care of him (he called me his "little nurse").
It served me well for a while. People thought I was the most dedicated worker, the best daughter to my mother, a great wife and mother....because I was always "doing" things for those I loved (hoping no harm would ever come to them). Yup, I looked like Superwoman, balancing all my caregiving among everyone I loved.
The worst in me, my full fledged addiction, was triggered by my son's addiction and it still took me a while to notice that I had become as sick as he was. It was only when I was an exhausted, neurotic, frightened mess that I realized "I" was the one who needed help. My life and my sanity were hanging by a thread.
Like the lady in Hangin's meeting, I am glad this program has no end. I love the gifts recovery has given me and I love my life today. But I know that if I become complacent I could be right back in that very dark place that I worked so hard to get out of. I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever (did I say ever?) go there again!
Does it bother me that I need to live my program every day? No more than it bothers me to eat well, live well, and take good care of all aspects of my health. My program is the best gift I ever gave myself and it's a gift that keeps on giving. I love it.
Hugs
It served me well for a while. People thought I was the most dedicated worker, the best daughter to my mother, a great wife and mother....because I was always "doing" things for those I loved (hoping no harm would ever come to them). Yup, I looked like Superwoman, balancing all my caregiving among everyone I loved.
The worst in me, my full fledged addiction, was triggered by my son's addiction and it still took me a while to notice that I had become as sick as he was. It was only when I was an exhausted, neurotic, frightened mess that I realized "I" was the one who needed help. My life and my sanity were hanging by a thread.
Like the lady in Hangin's meeting, I am glad this program has no end. I love the gifts recovery has given me and I love my life today. But I know that if I become complacent I could be right back in that very dark place that I worked so hard to get out of. I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever (did I say ever?) go there again!
Does it bother me that I need to live my program every day? No more than it bothers me to eat well, live well, and take good care of all aspects of my health. My program is the best gift I ever gave myself and it's a gift that keeps on giving. I love it.
Hugs
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Ann, you are so right .... AGAIN! 
Recovery is the best thing I've done for myself in a very, very long time. I say I'm worth the effort and it is a million times better than the way I was living. So what if I have to work at it? I've had to work at most valuable things in my life, so why not make myself a priority for once?
Recovery is the best thing I've done for myself in a very, very long time. I say I'm worth the effort and it is a million times better than the way I was living. So what if I have to work at it? I've had to work at most valuable things in my life, so why not make myself a priority for once?
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