barb dwyer

... as the posts tell it - I'm doing this five day cycle thing.

I mentioned ADHD, and having been on medication for it a while ago (I've been off that medication for about 7 years) and when I quit smoking .. the *H* came back ... with a vengance.
In my adult life - I haven't had to DEAL with hyperactive disorder.
I had to google it to understand that is what was happening.

I didn't have to deal with this stuff.
I had nicotine.

Now ... I don't.
So now ... I do.

SOOOoooo.... after a PARTICULARLY crazy few days (this last five day stint) where I almost lost a very good friend ...
I called the doctor.

I'm not talking ... 'oh this is terrible I cant smoke' this is ... teetering on the edge of losing control. Of my temper. Of my impulses. Of my comments. I can't stop what I'm thinking ... from coming right on out. Scary, when you think about it.

I mean - everyone here is USED to the kind of 'crazy' I am. I take a bit of getting used to, I know that better than anyone. In general, though - I'm fairly good humored and kinda fun loving and all that lot. Every now and then - Isay somethng kinda smart.
But ... what I've been lately ... just ain't right.
I don't mind 'controlled' crazy.
That's okay. That's where my living as an artist COMES from.

But this lately ... no.
This ... is barely controlled.
I mean - I can try to quit smoking while still gainfully empolyed ... or I can quit for sure ... having lost this job because I can't control my impulses or temper.
I'm choosing the employed route.

So I can't get in at the doc without a cancellation until Tuesday.
She told me (get this)
' of course continue to TRY not to smoke ... but until you can get in here for some of these tests - if you need to ... go ahead.'
I'm sorry, but I had to laugh at that.

I think that was the doctor equivalent of
'ok, but don't tell your mother I said you could.'

I told her - " I know you don't think I'm gonna pay you for that answer!"
I love my doc. We laugh a good bit.

Anyway - Two per day seem to keep it controllable.(the ADHD or whatever the hell)

In fact, it's not even TWO smokes. It's like two drags off one cigarette - twice per day. And even SHE said ... for three weeks - that's great coming off almost two packs per day. So she's got no complaints about the progress, and says I shouldn't either.
(I'm an alcoholic - of COURSE I do anyway)
So that's where I'm sitting right now until Tuesday. She said it might be nothing more than me needing a patch instead ... or increasing the doseage of the chantix ... or decreasing it. They've apparently got a symptomology list or something. Hell who knows - they're doctors.

I'm posting mostly because I always think of the 'lurkers' out there ... someone who might be going through similar problems ... and they might benefit from contacting their doctor as well.

Thanks! If anyone has some spare prayers they want to direct my way -
I'll appreciate them!

peace and serenity oriented would be good - as well as reminders it's BAD to sucker punch your coworker because they can't get to work on time.
A social faux-pax, as it were.

CarolD

Prayers for peace

GlassPrisoner

Having fun , are we ?!?

Actually, I didn't need to read this. You're scaring me. I was thinking (oh oh, there he goes again) of maybe stopping on my one year anniversary.

Hang in there, I think it gets better. I dunno, I never quit smoking before !

"Igor, where did you get this brain ?"

historyteach

Sending thoughts and prayers your way....
and hopes that you will be gentle on yourself...

Shalom!

SoberKev

In the early days of AA, the folks doing the 12th Step work would have a bottle to dispense alcohol to the newcomer to help get through the first periods of recovery. A couple of puffs off a couple of butts in the long run to me is minor. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself, until other help becomes available or things stabilize. I am with you. :praying

barb dwyer

I got another call today from the doc (she's on vacation) and when she found out I can't come in till Tuesday , she advised me to back off half of the chantix until we can meet and see if that, in a few days does anything.

Today's okay ... Today I'm able to remember that things are exactly the way they should be. Also, the fellow employee is off for a few days. heehee.

I've had some calls from members of my home group also and that keeps me more centered to hear from them.

Thank you guys, too - for your prayers and support.

Glass -
Where wolf? There wolf. There castle.

skunkape

Good luck barb, quitting smoking is difficult but it is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. Don't give up!

barb dwyer

well - haven't given up - talked with the doc - gonna keep the chantix and do some other stuff first. see what helps best and all that.

kept to myself on my days off. i think that's best. someone came to visit - and I was ready for them to leave within half an hour.

LOL


thanks again for all the encouragement.

karrotop

good morning barb...sorry you're having so many,"troubles".....about the Chantix....just wanted to tell you i have cut myself back to one pill/day for the last two weeks,and it's been ok....no cravings to smoke again....and the stomach upset has lessened...
Hope you feel better soon,and i am sending positive thoughts your way...

barb dwyer

hi karrotop -

thanks.
I backed off and things are much better.
But we've got to wait at least two weeks - to be sure.
Brain meds take a bit to adjust.

Thanks for the enouragement.