brokenwing

WEll I got a call from my AH's mother this morning. HE is back and went to her house and is now sleeping it off. What the He**. She tried to not let him in but his dad wants to give him one more chance. He showed up and was really high. He had his car towed over there because he said he lost his keys. My son in law was driving by and seen him outside and stopped in to see what was going on. HE said he was really high and told him that he was upset that he cant see our daughter but that he has other girls anyways with regards to me. How can someone just stop loving you so fast. He obviously still loves his daughter but why did we decide to have another child earlier this year if he didnt love me or just toss me aside so fast. I know its a total waste of energy trying to figure it out. I feel so used and discarded.
I feel so stupid for taking him back and getting pregnant again. But after a year of sobriety, I really thought he was going to do it this time.
Oh well, life goes on. His loss
Jackie

BigSis

Oh Jackie... I am so sorry.

You deserve so MUCH more than this.

I hope you can take some time today to make a list of all the things YOU want in life... little things and big things both. How you want to feel, where you want to live, activities that you enjoy, places you want to visit, people who treat you well... write and write and write until your arm gets tired.

Reading over MY lists of dreams and desires helps get me UNTANGLED from another's life and focused back on my own.

((hugs))

caileesnana

I'm sorry, too. Just take care of YOU, he has to do it his way, which might not be yours!
prayers
susan

mooselips

((((Brokenwing))))
Well, he's safe, so that's one thing to ease your mind a bit. As for the other garbage he's spewing, he is an addict, and I just don't listen to their form of quacking, especially when flying high. (no, actually most of the time..)

YOU take care of you, you and your children, that's what's important.

Hugs to you,

liesagain

broken..................so now you know hes alive so maybe it will be easier to focus on you. What do you want for you? And maybe start planning on how you can get it.

be easy on yourself..............

LearningHusband

You can try to search for answers all day long about why you did this or he did that, but you're making one critical error.....you're assuming he's in his right mind. He's an addict and doesn't have the logical mind that has to be there to get answers to the questions you're asking. The decisions he makes aren't based on you, his daughter, other women or anything else. ALL decisions are based on how he can perpetuate his addiction and feed it - that's it.

So you can choose to wallow in the what-ifs, or you can look at him for what he is right now (and active addict) and realize that YOUR job is to take care of yourself and, even more importantly, your kids, who are the innocents here being subjected to his crap. Maybe then the mother bear instinct will take over and you won't be so torn up about how he's acting and, instead, you'll be driven to do everthing you can to protect yourself and the kids.

Let's hope.

LH

brokenwing

Thankyou and you are right.

brokenwing

I do feel better knowing that he is alive.
Mooselips, your reply actually made me giggle a little. I know he's quacking which he does do most of the time.
I'm ok as of now and sticking to my boundaries of not talking to him as I'm sure he will want to do after he has slept it off. But I know there is no getting through to him so why bother to put myself through the anguish. You have all helped me to see this.
Today I took my daughter out to get a halloween costume which was fun. We also went visiting. I'm trying to get moving forward and putting my attention on those who appreciate it.
Thank you all again.
Jackie

hope213

glad he is ok. it is time to focus on your & look at the future instead of the past.the future is yours to mold as you want it. prayers,

DoingWell

He didn't lose his keys, he gave them to a dealer..been there, heard that have the tee shirt.

he does love you, he does love his daughter, and probably loves you, right now they are all just backseat to the addiction.. he doesnt' want to be this way but he knows no other way at this point and there isn't anything anyone can do to get it through to him, when he's ready he's ready.. all you can do is take care of yourself and your kids.

A bit of practical advice.. if he had a key to your home on that key chain he gave away.. get your locks changed ASAP. I don't mean to be synical but rather practical and I know how hard it is to stay practical when your heart is breaking.

Wascally Wabbit

Im sorry you're feeling so let down. But, try to hold on to the thought that it's the addiction, not you.
You really need a stress buster too. Why not do something nice for yourself.
Amidst all the chaos, take a few hours "off". Go get an ice cream with the kids and enjoy it. How about getting a pedicure?

GiveLove

You've got THAT right, sister
I know it hurts right now, and I shouldn't make light of it, but if ever there was a good candidate for a mantra (something you repeat over and over again) it's that: His loss.

You will be okay, Jackie. Time, love, and tenderness to yourself, and all will be well again. Actually, things will be BETTER than they were.

Hugs,
GL

brokenwing

Thanks Guys,
Doingwell, its funny that you said that because that is the exact same thing I said to his mother. No kidding, I dont believe his story for a sec. And no, he doesn't have a key on that set that I know of. Good point there. I think I will change them just in case.
Thanks guys ( Hugs to all)
Suprisingly feeling pretty good!!

cinderellawkids

Im sorry for your pain. I just wnat to add that its pointless to try to figure them out, they cant figure each other or themselves out. Sadly he likely has no idea why he does what he does or says what he says.