Layla2222

I just got back from going to see my AH-BF in rehab, and he sat me down and said, "I have to tell you something".

Well, his grandfather is an AH & bilpolar, his Grandmother was an AH suffering from depression & was also bipolar (she sadly killed her self when she was only 37) and his dad (same side of the family) is manic-depressive bipolar. Turns out, the rehab psychologist has been analyzing all my BF's feelings,behaviors, etc....and diagnosed him as being bipolar too.

Does anyone know anything about this condition? Or have any experiences with it/someone who has it?? Or know how it might effect his relationship with alcohol?

Besides for having extreme mood changes (hence the name)....All I know about it comes from an old roomate I had who was bipolar. She often didnt take her meds (she would tell me this & that she hated to take them).....and when she didnt take them she would drink a lot & get into HUGE physical fights with her boyfriend (also bipolar)....throwing chairs through walls & stuff! This may have just been thier personalities/ thier personal effects of the condition....But like I said, I dont know anything about it.

I'm going to try to do some research now, but any thing that anyone wants to share about it would be appreciated.

Thank you!!!!!
~Steph

Layla2222

WOW--I read the first article I found on Google....this is him TO THE T!!!! I mean, every single characteristic...


"......People who have this illness tend to experience extreme mood swings, along with other specific symptoms and behaviors. These mood swings or "episodes" can take three forms: manic episodes, depressive episodes, or "mixed" episodes.

The symptoms of a manic episode often include elevated mood (feeling extremely happy), being extremely irritable and anxious, talking too fast and too much, and having an unusual increase in energy and a reduced need for sleep. It's also very common for someone to act impulsively during a manic episode, and engage in behaviors that are risky or that they later regret, like spending sprees. And in over half of all manic episodes, people are troubled by delusions or hallucinations. For example, they may think they have a relationship with someone famous, claim to be an expert in an area they really know nothing about, feel paranoid (unusually fearful), or hear voices that are not there.

The symptoms of a depressive episode often include an overwhelming feeling of emptiness or sadness, a lack of energy, a loss of interest in things, trouble concentrating, changes in normal sleep or appetite, and/or thoughts of dying or suicide.

A mixed episode includes symptoms that are both manic and depressive."

It's apparently a chemical imbalance in the brain...(and genetic?)

I would still love to hear from anyone who would be willing to share any personal experiences or info about it....or how it might relate to alcohol....if anyone knows & is willing
Thank you for listening!

Layla2222

Okay, I guess I am awnsering my own questions here....but thanks for listening while I vent....

I just found this in the next article I read....

It is generally believed that 30% to 60% of those with bipolar disorder (manic depression) also struggle with alcoholism or substance abuse perhaps in an attempt to self-medicate

Wow

CarolD

Well....
I would guess about half of the members in my AA home group
have been diagnosed with Bi-Polar. 20 or so men and women.

From my ovservation...
as long as they stay on their med's....they continue
to be sucessfully sober.
But manic episodes do come in cycles
and the correct medication appears to be difficult to balance.

I also think a re evaluation is important after some
time in sobriety...at least 6 months.

No I am not Bi Polar...and this is just my experience over the
past 8 years of having friends deal with both alcohol and the condition.

Layla2222

wow i feel dumb....just noticed there is a whole other forum for this right here on SR...

janied

Layla,

My exH is bipolar but doesn't believe it and refuses to take meds. He's not an addict of any sort - in fact totally opposite in that he refuses to take any meds or alcohol at all. We have two children, ages 11 and 13. So far no sign of bipolar disorder in them but there is clearly a genetic component. The key is early diagnosis and treatment. There are degrees of bipolar disorder. Bipolar I is the most severe and can involve hallucinations and psychotic breaks from reality. Bipolar II is not as severe but still must be treated.

The disease is a chemical imbalance and most bipolar people show symptoms in their late teens to mid-20's. My exH was diagnosed at age 25. As far as family members go, his grandmother suffered from depression and his cousin is diagnosed bipolar.

We knew each other for a year before we were married and he seemed "normal" during the first year or two. Then he suffered from a manic period when he was awake for almost two weeks straight, hallucinated, and had to be hospitalized against his will. His parents said they hadn't noticed any symptoms as he was growing up. However, he told me about two times when he was apparently very depressed in his late teens and early 20s.

The main issue with SOME bipolar people is that they do not like to take their meds when they start feeling better. I'm not writing this to pick on bipolar people AT ALL and I have three friends who are bipolar. I also have only compassion for my exH. That said, I was very relieved when we separated.

I learned a lot with my exH and also developed anxiety problems and panic attacks. After he left, I began self-medicating with alcohol and my drinking problem, compounded by using benzos for a year, finally brought me here. I found SR when I quit both alcohol and benzos two weeks ago. I've been having a hard time with the benzo withdrawal, but it's getting better.

Take care!

Jane

Layla2222

Need to vent again....i cant get this news he dropped on me off of my mind! The more I read & research the condition/illness....the less I know what to do??? I had pretty much decided at this point to give him another chance....and now I'm confused all over again. I know he hates taking his meds now--his anti-depressants--and when he does stop taking them --99% of the time-- it leads to talk of suicide & I go with him on his emotional roller coaster.
I just dont want to go through the SAME pain over & over again.....
This news changes everything......and it changes nothing.....help!

Thanks for listening!

MsGolightly

correct, or they do not like taking them in the first place. most people with bipolar disorder require meds in order to stabilize their mood... in my experience, i'm not aware of anyone i know who has "corrected" or stabilized the condition without proper medication.

i guess it's his choice to take the meds or not. but it very well could be hell to live with if he chooses not to.

Barbara52

My 18 yo son is bipolar. He is doing very well since he goes to talk therapy twice a month and is on an effective mood stabilizing medication. He knows he needs these meds and feels much better with them. He's been on the meds for about 8 months and they have made a world of difference for him.

I do know many who are bipolar or suffer with depression often self medicate with alcohol and it easily leads to deprendency and alcoholism.

DII

While bi-polar and depressed people tend to drink and have alcohol problems, they need to stay on their meds and STOP drinking alcohol! Now that he knows......he is making a decision to drink KNOWING the medical and physical consequences......no different than any other alcoholic. My AW was "dual-diagnosed" as depressed and alcoholic.....didn't stop her from drinking.

It is a good first boundry for you. Tell your AH that for you to support him he needs to stay on him meds and stay off alcohol.....forever or you pull your support.

Good luck!

ARealLady

wow i feel dumb....just noticed there is a whole other forum for this right here on SR...

Read, read, read away BUT!!!.....alarm bells buzzing!

Your ABF might also be trying to find ways to thwart you and push your sympathy buttons. He "reported" what the psych suggested to him.

Since our last meet-up when XABF was drunk for the whole ten days, he has told me he is taking a cocktail of meds prescribed by his primary physician. One is for anxiety, another for depression and also sleeping pills. (a little aside....goodness knows what happens when you mix alcohol with all that!) So it seems in XABF there are some underlying mental health concerns. Do I feel sorry for him? Yes! Can I help him? No!!! He is still drinking!

ARL

NoChoice

I don't know a whole lot about it but my sister has been diagnosed with it. It is a tough road to hoe. My Mom went to a seminar put on by the National Institute of Mental Health she found it to be helpful. I think it is the type of thing that varies a great deal from person to person and of course the Therapist/meds make all the difference.

Good luck. Take care of you.

mamaplus2kids

Alcohol and those meds don't mix. That's why a lot of alcoholics won't take the meds. My soon-to-be-ex-AH had a best friend who was bipolar and scizophrenic; he endlessly complained about the meds. He ended up trying to cut off his head with a hedge cutter. Not pretty. A policeman told me he never saw anything so gruesome in his experience on the force. My mother gets manic/psychotic every time she tries to quit drinking. I've moved away from the US because of this. Need an entire Atlantic Ocean between us. I can't take the emotional roller coaster rides any more.

ICU

And how is Stephanie doing with 'her' recovery research? ;-)

QU31

Hi,

I am in a situation very similar to yours. My bf has been sober for almost a year now, but was diagnosed bipolar a few months ago. On the one hand, I was very relieved that he finally got that diagnosis, because I had suspected it for awhile. At the same time, it was also really scary. I was thinking...will he be able to have a normal life? hold down a job? etc....

The good news for your BF is that he is being diagnosed at the same time he's quitting drinking. Mine went almost a year without his medicine (which had previously been alcohol) before he started his new bipolar meds. He now takes Lamictal and it is doing wonders for him. However, I have to warn you....dealing with either of these issues (alcoholism and BP) alone is hard enough. Dealing with them both together can be very difficult. Make sure you don't get too wrapped up in it and make sure to take care of yourself. Al Anon is very helpful. There are also groups out there for friends/family of those with BP. Good luck!

QU

shutterbug

Hi, I am bipolar and i agree with most of what has been posted. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he is pulling a sympothy string tho. As you discovered....a large portion of bipolars are addicts. Him filling you in on what the doctor determined is just another peice of the puzzle he needs to find in order to overcome all these things.

It's a disease and yes, most often, a genetic one. If the doctor told him he had pnemonia or the flu or diabeties or cancer...he would have told you about those just the same. For some, the diagnosis can be a hard thing to accept at first.

Bare in mind also, that there are different types of bipolars out there and also different personalities and different ways people take care of themselves and take responsibility for themselves.

The GOOD news is that if he does decide to work on finding the right med combo for himself ...then it will make it much easier on his fight to stay sober. But yes....finding the right med combo often takes around 2 years and many times longer. It's a difficult one to treat and keep managed, which is why those of us with it have to stay on our toes and keep a constant vigil on ourselves and our coping skills.

Staying with him....that's your choice, but my personal opinion would be that if he's not willing to take meds then he's not that interested in working to get and stay healthy.

I will have to take meds for the rest of my life. End of story and no different than if i had a heart disease.

I commend you highly for researching bipolar disorder on the internet!

CBrown

Oh, do I know about bipolars. My mom was one, and had huge swings. Back in the 70s and 80s I don't suppose the meds were as good as now. But it really took a massive toll on my dad and myself. There's nothing like sitting in the psych ward for three hours trying to talk your mom into staying (they won't keep them unless they sign) to get treatment. She also got migraines when she was depressive and would shut herself in her bedroom for days with the shades pulled. Then the manic phases - here, there, everywhere, nonstop, buying stuff, talking on the phone morning noon and night. I think the depressive phase stress finally was what did her weakened heart in.

Fast-forward to my XABF. We think he was diagnosed bi-polar, but are not positive. I do know that he locks himself in his room the month of December and won't come out. And he quit the meds, too! So all day, it used to be a frenzy of activity: horse races, shopping, jai alai, dinner out, etc. He can't do that these days as his body seems to be physically giving out. But I understand when you were with him, it was a crazy, wild, drunken life.

If you're living with both, you're dealing with waaaaay more than a human should have to deal with.

QU31

Hi, my boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic and bipolar. If you look at the thread I started back in June on the mental health forum (I think it's called "First time here and in need of help") you will see how frantic I was! Well, there is hope. Things have gotten better. They are still hard and are certainly not perfect. I had a much harder time learning that I had to look at the bipolar the same way as the alcoholism...I didn't cause it, can't cure it, can't control it. It is his responsibility to take care of both of his diseases. Of course, I do try to be supportive, but not to the point where I have nothing left for myself. Easier said than done. Once I started applying Al Anon principles to the mental health problems, things got easier.

And YES, the drugs will help immensely! It might take awhile to find the right combo, but they make a huge, huge difference. Waiting 6 months for reevaluation is probably too long. He will probably need to be in touch with his pdoc much more frequently at first. Good luck!

QU31

I am a dork....I didn't realize I already said all this stuff earlier in this thread!

mallowcup

In my nursing experience with bipolar disorder is that things becvome unstable from nonmedication complicance and herew why. I think the most important compnent for success is med compliance, that requires taking responsibility. People take the meds and start to feel better and more stable and figure they don't need the meds anymore. It takes a good six weeks to see the effectiveness of bipolar meds which makes getting the right dose regulation frustrating. Most meds we take and see results.
The other thing is that people do not take seriously the fact that you CAN NOT DRINK ALCOHOL when you are taking these meds and in my experience, most do.
In a state of mania they get into all kinds of trouble, bingeing, spending, drugs, sexual promiscuity, and on and on. When they crash into the depression side of it, they cry, have remorse, sit, they get dark.
Yes, I think medications can be highly effective and remember that what happened to his grandmother happened at a time when this whole diagnosis was treated differently or not at all.
I also think 6 months is too long for an evaluation. I'd schedule an appt for six weeks and then every month thereafter for the first 6 months.