Waiting
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In
Posts: 561
Waiting
Well here I sit unable to sleep again. My daughter is 37 weeks pregnant now so it won't be long. I've been hoping she had stopped using she really seems to care about this baby she has been making sure she has things ready.all we hear about is this baby. So I've been holding my breath an hoping she as finally decided to give up the drug life. The babies father is still in jail, but she is back with her sons Daddy he plans on helping her with the baby. So it all sounds good, right?
Well he was using heroin when they got back together, as were her an the exbf, ( she
says she stopped in her 3rd month. I've been just watching an waiting to see what was going to happen. Then last week she left her purse on the porch swing, I could see what looked like the out line of a needle in it, so I looked an sure enough that's what it was. ( I know I had no business looking so you can yell at me for that. ) I didn't say anything to her about it. But now I don't know is she still shooting up? Or is it the BF ? One of them if not both must be using she has swore he stopped when they got back together.
Well then tonight we get a call that they were at one of his friends houses an the friend accused them of stealing heroin from him. Things got nasty I guess an the friend threatened to kill both their families. Bf went to police an wanted to get a restraining order, but since he had a warrant out on him for not paying a speeding ticket they arrested him. So she calls here flipping out her Dad goes to calm her down an finds out she had backed into a car leaving the police station. So he takes her back down to talk to them it was very minor damage on the bumper. But he said the cop ask her why her pupils were dilated, she said she hadn't been sleeping an had took some over the counter sleeping pills. My husband said she kept almost falling asleep when he was talking to her before going down there. Does heroin cause them to be dilated? Or does it make them pin points? Any one know?
All of this is going on while I'm at her 5 yr olds soccer game. An that is why I'm not sleeping. I would like to think she's not stupid enough to be using still. She is pregnant with another innocent little kid. Plus she is on probation in 2 states, plus she still has child services checking on her, she had to take a drug test for them last week. Can she be that stupid? I don't know. But you know what they say " Where there's smoke there's fire"
Sorry this is so long but I had to get it out. Thought maybe it would help, but it don't. Her son is such a happy well adjusted little guy I hate to see him hurt, because his parents use drugs. An the unborn baby God knows what will happen to it
if she's still using.
Thanks for reading an please say a prayer for her an the kids.
Well he was using heroin when they got back together, as were her an the exbf, ( she
says she stopped in her 3rd month. I've been just watching an waiting to see what was going to happen. Then last week she left her purse on the porch swing, I could see what looked like the out line of a needle in it, so I looked an sure enough that's what it was. ( I know I had no business looking so you can yell at me for that. ) I didn't say anything to her about it. But now I don't know is she still shooting up? Or is it the BF ? One of them if not both must be using she has swore he stopped when they got back together.
Well then tonight we get a call that they were at one of his friends houses an the friend accused them of stealing heroin from him. Things got nasty I guess an the friend threatened to kill both their families. Bf went to police an wanted to get a restraining order, but since he had a warrant out on him for not paying a speeding ticket they arrested him. So she calls here flipping out her Dad goes to calm her down an finds out she had backed into a car leaving the police station. So he takes her back down to talk to them it was very minor damage on the bumper. But he said the cop ask her why her pupils were dilated, she said she hadn't been sleeping an had took some over the counter sleeping pills. My husband said she kept almost falling asleep when he was talking to her before going down there. Does heroin cause them to be dilated? Or does it make them pin points? Any one know?
All of this is going on while I'm at her 5 yr olds soccer game. An that is why I'm not sleeping. I would like to think she's not stupid enough to be using still. She is pregnant with another innocent little kid. Plus she is on probation in 2 states, plus she still has child services checking on her, she had to take a drug test for them last week. Can she be that stupid? I don't know. But you know what they say " Where there's smoke there's fire"
Sorry this is so long but I had to get it out. Thought maybe it would help, but it don't. Her son is such a happy well adjusted little guy I hate to see him hurt, because his parents use drugs. An the unborn baby God knows what will happen to it
if she's still using.
Thanks for reading an please say a prayer for her an the kids.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: on to bigger & better things
Posts: 4,122
lost.....I am sorry you are having to deal with all of this. Sad situation. Addiction knows no limits. Unborn babies included. I've known a few who have had babies addicted to heroin and one to meth. Here in the state I live in, it's mandatory drug testing on the babies when they are born....ALL babies. At least that's what I have understood. If babies test positive, child protective services steps in and takes custody. THANK GOD that when I was pregnant with my oldest, I was NOT using like that....I had an occasional glass of wine or wine cooler and smoked a couple of hits of pot to help calm me down. My then husband was always at the strip joints! My only other child has NEVER seen me messed up...she's 3 and I've got 10 yrs. now. Anyways.......point is....no child, no threat of death, or threat of jail, or threat of being homeless (cuz I ended up there), NOTHING made me stop until I was sick and tired of being sick & tired. Until every door shut in my face, until everyone quit enabling me, until I was entirely ready and all the way willing to do WHATEVER it took to stop using and stay clean & sober!!!! I have 10 years clean and sober today since Aug 23, 1997. I have been through mountains and mountains of crap, I have been in and out of jail, I have been homeless, I have lost sole custody of my oldest daughter back when she was 5 to her father ....she went to live with him and it became joint custody. She's now 22. We have a wonderful relationship now. Recovery CAN happen. As long as she's breathing.....there's still hope. I will keep you all in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: phoenix arizona
Posts: 741
Prayers are with all!! My sister was clean for at least 4 years, but has relapsed.
She has a 3 year old my parents are watching while she's been away.
I'm sorry you are going through this, too!!
She has a 3 year old my parents are watching while she's been away.
I'm sorry you are going through this, too!!
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
It is so sad when there is a baby on the way being born addicted to addicted mom
especially when this is your daughter
You question if she is using, but you know
Amazing how powerful addiction
My heart goes out to you, mom
especially when this is your daughter
You question if she is using, but you know
Amazing how powerful addiction
My heart goes out to you, mom
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
An the unborn baby God knows what will happen to it
I believe babies born addicted are tested at the hospital. She may indeed lose custody of this baby, if she is using - the hospital will do whatever is best for baby.
My understanding is that heroin causes pinpoints, and stimulants (meth/cocaine) or even adrenaline can cause the dialation. I know some addicts mix heroin and cocaine... I don't know what happens, then.
Don't beat yourself up for her actions... I know you love and care about the baby, and you may have some choices about how much assistance you want/are able to give in the future. It may that losing this baby to a loving home is what it will take for her to hit her bottom.
My prayers are strong for your entire family... (((hugs)))
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Hi lost parent,
What a lucky little boy to have his grandma at his soccer game. Kids notice things like that. They are a lot smarter than we think, some times...
It's possible that your daughter is using again. And it's possible she's not. If she is, it's not because she's stupid or careless ... its because she's an addict, struggling with the disease of addiction.
It's horrible and it's sad. Have you been able to go to any Al Anon meetings? They have really helped me to understand how powerful addictions are, and how powerless I am over them. I've also learned the difference between being powerless and being helpless... because I am NOT helpless.
There are plenty of moms here with addicted children. I'm sure they'll stop by soon to say hi and to share some experiences, strength and hope.
Prayers for you and your kids and grandkids too.
Cats
What a lucky little boy to have his grandma at his soccer game. Kids notice things like that. They are a lot smarter than we think, some times...
It's possible that your daughter is using again. And it's possible she's not. If she is, it's not because she's stupid or careless ... its because she's an addict, struggling with the disease of addiction.
It's horrible and it's sad. Have you been able to go to any Al Anon meetings? They have really helped me to understand how powerful addictions are, and how powerless I am over them. I've also learned the difference between being powerless and being helpless... because I am NOT helpless.
There are plenty of moms here with addicted children. I'm sure they'll stop by soon to say hi and to share some experiences, strength and hope.
Prayers for you and your kids and grandkids too.
Cats
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Mary alice, KY
Posts: 122
I'm so sorry that you have to live to see the hell that drugs out families through. I just hope the little soccer player won't remember any of this later on. If she is using, the Drs. will find out when she has the baby. Especially if there are track marks on her. They will see them. The automatically do blood work when she checks in to have the baby abd there is a tox screen that is done. If it is positive then cps will be called and they will talk to her and probably you all too. They look at what's best for the kids. They will offer to get her help. I hope that she takes it and doesn't look at them as the enemy as ao many people do. You are in my prayers tonight and a special prayer goes up for the one that has yet to take a breath........Viki
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In
Posts: 561
Thanks for the prayers an comments. If she has her baby an son taken away I honestly don't know if I'd ever be able to forgive her.
An in answer to Cats.. no I've never been to a meeting really can't find the time with 5 kids here my SD working afternoon shift an H working nights I rarely go any where.
An in answer to Cats.. no I've never been to a meeting really can't find the time with 5 kids here my SD working afternoon shift an H working nights I rarely go any where.
I'm HOME!!!!!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Hot flash city
Posts: 573
(((Lost)))
Bless you for keeping an eye. I would call CPS and suggest they random drug test her, if she is using perhaps it could be nipped in the bud if CPS steps in. Also it would probably be in the best interest of the 5 year old if she's fallen victim to this disease again.
I can't tell you the effects it has on kids...my grandson and I have now been together for 1 year, he was 11, hardly knew how to hold a fork, had major bed wetting for the 1st 3 months, and still has issues being separated from the adult in the house. When I go to the basement to throw in a load of laundry, he's right behind me!! Doesn't like to be alone for a moment!! He's only now starting to talk about some of the things he saw. Mom lying unconscious with a needle hanging outta her arm and blood dripping down. OMG!!! Talk about a nightmare existance....we have no idea what these kids see!!!
Prayers for you and your family
Bless you for keeping an eye. I would call CPS and suggest they random drug test her, if she is using perhaps it could be nipped in the bud if CPS steps in. Also it would probably be in the best interest of the 5 year old if she's fallen victim to this disease again.
I can't tell you the effects it has on kids...my grandson and I have now been together for 1 year, he was 11, hardly knew how to hold a fork, had major bed wetting for the 1st 3 months, and still has issues being separated from the adult in the house. When I go to the basement to throw in a load of laundry, he's right behind me!! Doesn't like to be alone for a moment!! He's only now starting to talk about some of the things he saw. Mom lying unconscious with a needle hanging outta her arm and blood dripping down. OMG!!! Talk about a nightmare existance....we have no idea what these kids see!!!
Prayers for you and your family
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In
Posts: 561
How awful that your Grandson had to see that stuff, Thank God you were able to save him from that kind of life. My 5yr old has always lived here with us an has thankfully been spared seeing that stuff. Of course she has used the threat of taking him to get her way. We should try to get custody but I've always been afraid they wouldn't let us have him, since there are 4 other kids living here, an he'd end up in foster care. At one point both her an his father were willing to sign custody over to her sister for awhile, but things changed when the 2 of them got back together an that didn't happen. She now denies that either of them are still using, but you don't care needles around just for the fun of it.
She is at the hospital now in labor so I will know soon if she has been using still while she pregnant.
She is at the hospital now in labor so I will know soon if she has been using still while she pregnant.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Lost,
I'm so sorry you have to see the things that you see and find the things that you have to find. I know it all is so heartbreaking. My daughter always tells me that heroin will cause the pupils to be pinned. I don't know what causes the dialation.
I've seen that in my daughter too. She was using heroin and crack.
Well, I guess you'll find out soon enough the answer to your questions.
Take care of yourself.
Hugs...........Lo
I'm so sorry you have to see the things that you see and find the things that you have to find. I know it all is so heartbreaking. My daughter always tells me that heroin will cause the pupils to be pinned. I don't know what causes the dialation.
I've seen that in my daughter too. She was using heroin and crack.
Well, I guess you'll find out soon enough the answer to your questions.
Take care of yourself.
Hugs...........Lo
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((lostparent))
My thoughts & prayers are with you - many here could also tell the same story about our children & grandchildren.
I am listening closely to my HP's guidance concerning my youngest grandson, he's 6 wks old. His mom (our daughter) is an addict and is doing what addicts do. She has already lost custody of her other 2 children & she may lose this little precious baby boy too. Waiting to be shown the right thing to do at the right time.
Praying you will know what is right for you & your family too.
Please keep coming back here if you can't make f2f meetings - the love & support I get here is wonderful in helping me deal with these issues.
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
My thoughts & prayers are with you - many here could also tell the same story about our children & grandchildren.
I am listening closely to my HP's guidance concerning my youngest grandson, he's 6 wks old. His mom (our daughter) is an addict and is doing what addicts do. She has already lost custody of her other 2 children & she may lose this little precious baby boy too. Waiting to be shown the right thing to do at the right time.
Praying you will know what is right for you & your family too.
Please keep coming back here if you can't make f2f meetings - the love & support I get here is wonderful in helping me deal with these issues.
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
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