petdon

I have not posted before but after reading this post it truly described alot of my feelings about husband. We have been seperated almost two-half years. It is extremely painful to be on the outside looking in. H has new friends that totally support his drinking, a job, another woman which he lives with . He has no contact with one of our dgtrs and limited with the other. I new him for 30 years. The alcohol took everything we had together slowly over time. I do not know if he will ever hit his bottom. He still sends support to me and messages that he is in hell but continues to go back for more. I don't talk to him but do e-mail him about finances etc. I gave up trying to give him advice and moral support because he is living with this woman while we are still legally married. I am in counseling but work so many hours my extra time is spent with my daughter and trying to keep my home, bills paid etc. I am a nurse and love my job. I understand that this is alcoholism at its finest but it is still so painful to not be able to help him. I have detached but do not have the emotional stamina to divorce him. I don't even think at this point it would make a difference I am afraid it would make give up completely. I know I have to go on with my life but I am as sick as he is in alot of ways because I cannot give up on him completely.

Mr. Christian

Welcome.


Have you been to Alanon in these past 2 years?
Has it helped you at all?

We seem to hang on to things at times as a way of thinking that if we do we still can change things.
Alas we all do find out that we can not.

I was in fact separated for about three years before the divorce.

I had to for myself finally cut the cords of something that no longer existed.
Not to mention free myself on any legal or financial messes she could get herself into.

People do move on at their own pace sometimes but then there are times we must move forward even though we don’t want to.

petdon

Hi, I went to alanon for about six months I did find it extremely helpful but I increased my hours at work to become more financially independent. I have been coming to this site as often as possible instead.

cmc

Welcome to SR. I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. It sounds as if you have learned alot already about boundaries and how to take care of yourself. I believe that you will find tons of support and many new friends here on this forum. There is alot of good recovery here.
I wish you all the best.

Barbara52

Moving forward with a divorce is difficult. But you might want to think of it in terms of porotecting yourself financially. As long as you are married you are probably responsible for his debts and any judgements that might come his way. I can't be sure because all states are somewhat different in the way they handle it all.

lilac

Just wanted to extend a warm welcome and (((HUG))) to you. Be gentle with yourself, you have been thru (and are still going) thru a lot. Each person has a different time frame for them. don't rush.