faithnu

How can I forget so quickly? How do I get caught up in the few good days and feel so crushed when they end? I feel so stupid and awful. and it shouldn't even be me who feels this way. Ya my husband will feel guilty after the fact but why do have to feel so stupid? When things are going good they feel good but inside i know that not all is well. I am still catering to him. Walking around on eggshells making sure life is good for him. I don't know, I don't know. It is all so frustrating!!!! The I am going out for awhile or I am just going to have couple I will be ok. well I am not ok. thanks, I feel a little better and I can go back to bed now. I am so thankful I found this message board.

Good night

JT

faithnu,

Be sure to read today's readings about worry and detachment. If you keep it simple and go about your daily life things do get better. Not that he will change but you can change your feelings of hurt and resentment that way. In reality he is hurting himself and you are allowing him to hurt you.

Like they say about how to get to Carnege Hall? Practice, practice practice....it does get easier.

Hugs,
JT

2stop

I am so sorry to hear the pain you are going through. You are NOT stupid at all. I think that when loving an alcoholic we so much concern and compassion for their life that it is like terminal cancer, eating away our insides until we lose ourselves or end up not caring at all. I am glad you are here and sharing and don't forget about #1, YOU. Sending a big ole (((HUG))) your way. I hope today is better for you.

Many hugs and hope too,
Tammie

Ann

faithnu

We are not stupid, we are codependent, and the fact that we are trying to do something positive to address that makes us pretty smart, in my books.

We didn't get this way overnight, and it takes a lot of work, patience and time to find our way back to serenity, but it is a journey we walk together, and just know that we all are walking with you and care.

liddy

HI (((faithnu)))

we want to believe, we want to believe its the last drink,
we want to believe and we hope maybe just maybe this is it !

well.. we need to keep that hope for that day but, in the meantime I need to keep working on myself and when the day
comes it will be wonderful the answer to prayer and many tears
but until then I realy realy realy just need to Live My Life !!!!
and let them live theirs !!
and Faith forgot about those eggshells ! they drink no matter what we're walking on (a bed of nails?) be yourself live life.

Hugs
liddy

EmotionalMeg

Hi Faithnu,

Don't be so hard on yourself!
This detachment thing doesn't happen overnight... But the good news is that you are recognizing the patterns

Things go good for HIM (ie: not drinking) - YOU feel good
Things go bad for him - YOU feel bad (ie: angry, hurt, stupid)

What does this tell you??
That you are being your good ol' codependant self - Relying too much on the actions of someone ELSE, to maintain your emotional well being.

And the best part for YOU is that you CAN be happy and healthy whether he is drinking or not... You are your own unique and wonderful self. So get out there, and set some goals; grab something in life you've always wanted... Begin working on your OWN recovery by going to meetings (or coming here , or both), start exercising, eating right, taking a new college course, or whatever!

For me, the moment I made the step towards honoring myself AND it FELT GREAT... I never wanted to let it go.

Imagine the response from your A, if when he was hungover, feeling guilty and ashamed... you were unaffected. In fact YOU were out there having fun, getting healthy and enjoying yourself.
It takes practice, to NOT react... sometimes you have to "fake it". But keep telling yourself that you are OK, no matter what HE does. And give yourself the opportunity to let go... Cuz when you are not holding on to HIS shi*, you have a whole lot more room for the GOOD things


OK, this was not supposed to be a SPEECH ...
Take care Faith
Meg